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Author Topic: Lightning Drake (For Seeker)  (Read 23569 times)
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Rayne (Alýr)
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« Reply #30 on: 29 December 2009, 03:35:27 »

Yes, this is true, but the horns and claws are made of a different biological material than the scales. So, I figured they might be of a slightly different and more uniform shade amongst the drakes. Or, are you implying they are simply a solid color from the tip of their nose from the tip of their tail?

Precisely! Hence:
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When at rest, the drake turns a dull grayish brown, blending in to its rocky environment.
It would not blend in very well if its horns were a color outside of their natural habitat! It would be a little funny to see a drake all but blended in save for little white horns poking up. Hehe.

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Perhaps it is simply the way you have it worded which is confusing to me. Is all the food you mentioned readily available? You make it sound as if they travel a fair distance for some of them. And that they scavenge both in and out. Again, it may simply be how it is worded which is driving me bonkers with properly understanding it. You may wish to emphasize they don't care to scavenge, unless they have to.
I think we have a different definition of "scavenge." Perhaps this is where we are running into issues. I see this as meaning that an animal eats other dead animals that have previously been killed by some other source, and searching for these dead animals does not necessarily involve journey outside one's habitat. It sounds like perhaps you are defining this term as having this extra notion of journeying outside one's habitat. Is this an accurate portrayal of your definition, or am I missing something?

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I was not aware that only the information provided in the little researchers snippet at the bottom, was the only documentation of them. From your entry, you make it sound as if they are quite widely researched and there is more information known about them than what you have provided.
Kali, what makes you think that one snippet is the only piece of research there is? Even in the piece you quoted from me it mentions, "one researcher who sees a nest, another that sees a lightning display..." "Another" means a different researcher. There are snippets here and there, but there is a gray area between scarcely researched and highly researched. I am working in this gray area here, not in blacks and whites. Like I said, these drakes are not studied over long periods of time. Think of your husband watching a movie while you're cleaning or cooking in another room. You may come in and out of the room to see how he's doing, and in doing this, you may know the characters, the basic plot, but you don't necessarily know how the characters get from one place to another. You have to put together what you know from little clips here and there. Does this make sense?

I can't say what the details are. I don't know. If you'd like to make something up, that's fine with me, but it's all speculation.

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I had (don't get me wrong, I am not upset you went and wrote it!), but life hit hard. I had been recovering from being sick, but I am getting sick again >.< And work is crazier than hell until the holidays are over. I barely have time to work on my on projects. lol. You did fine and right, nothing to apologize for. Just don't be mad?
I'm not mad--it just seemed to me as though I had been unintentionally forcing you into a situation you didn't want to be in.

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Here I think it may simply be a matter of how we were each taught. My college professor (published author, multiple times over for both personal and educational material) sat me down and decided to give me instruction on the word 'that' because of my noticeable over usage. What he explained to me is 'that' is discouraged in writing altogether and should only be used if absolutely nothing else will work. It is considered more 'spoken language' and informal, so hence the discouragement he gave me with it being in formal writing. He did tell me 'which' and 'that' were interchangeable to a point, and other words/phrases as well. This has followed me well in my writing career for publications and the like, and have had not issues with it until you mentioned it.

I am not as learned in 'clauses' (haven't heard the term in about 8-10 years), or anything of that sort. I mostly just try to make sure my sentences make sense to the reader, and they are enjoyable to read and not a pain. You use a *lot* more commas than I am used to, and generally find useful when writing. I find the more you use, even if grammatically correct, can confuse a lot of your basic readers. You must think of the audience you are writing to as well as the purpose you are writing, not necessarily what you can get away grammatically in your work. (No, not being preachy, just explaining what my schooling has taught me) Most of my writing experience and learning has come from being in the field and receiving feedback on it from other published authors who have been through the grueling system (not self-publishing). I have learned more in this area of writing, than I ever did from a textbook or classroom, you must forgive my more 'barbaric' skills.

Your professor may have been doing the same thing to you that Lorek's professor did to him: they speak in generalities in order to make things clear. You can start a sentence with "Because," and "that" can and should be used. Like all words, it's an issue of knowing the word and knowing the context. I'm not sure where he got the idea that "that" was colloquial. Perhaps he hasn't done a lot of academic reading? "That" is used in both literature and in academics. Perhaps you can give me his name? I would be curious to do a bit of research on him.

I use commas to guide readers--especially to parse off dependent clause and separate independent clauses. They are guides for readers. I often explain to my students that as writers, especially writers of academic texts, we have to reach out and take readers by the hand and guide them through our text. Meta-discourse, commas, lexical continuity--these things help our readers understand what we are trying to convey. The purpose of any public writing is to communicate. One should do as much as they can to ensure they are communicating clearly and concisely.

I hate bringing in ethos, you know, but as a graduate student, my professors are not only published authors, but editors of prestigious journals. I have had style teachers (all published, of course--you basically have to publish to be a professor) and my mother worked 30 years as a technical writer and editor. Because of teaching and my background, I've had to learn about grammar, including the "that"/"which" differentiation. (My mother explained it to me over and over again, and it wasn't until college that I really understood it). I have an internationally recognized professor next semester who is actually a expert on grammar--the scholar who actually developed the notion of "emergent grammar." Your professor should know him: Paul Hopper. I can ask him next semester about this.

I wouldn't call your learning 'barbaric,' but occasionally things can be misunderstood in that kind of setting. I was told to avoid "that" in my poetry, and for the most part, I do when writing that genre. But I was also told to avoid "which." Subordinating conjunctions are not as poetic as employing a free modifier or something similar. But they are not incorrect. In the end, understanding "that" and "which," like understanding any word, comes from both textbooks/grammar books and from experience--writing with feedback and, of course, reading widely.
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« Reply #31 on: 29 December 2009, 14:21:45 »

I have nothing else to say. I will make detailed notes of extra information for myself off-site, just so that incase it should be desired later - it is available.

Entry has my thumbup
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« Reply #32 on: 30 December 2009, 18:17:02 »

Hi Rayne, had just a few minutes and wanted only to look at the territory before this goes up, but then I was caught again and here we are :) I have still some questions. I don‘t know, if they were addressed already above, so if they are solved,  just ignore them.

My first question is - and there I just don‘t know, how it sounds in native speaker‘s ears - is ,lightning current‘ medieval enough, does not at once ,electric current‘ spring in your mind? I found something like ,lightning discharge current‘, or did you invent ,lightning current‘? (LEO didn‘t find it.) Would ,lightning effects‘ be the better term?
Maybe we need to decide, if our gnomes have already made their first experiences with ,electrical charges‘ (Earth: 1600+ William Gilbert, 1672 Otto von Guericke, Fay, 1745 first condensator). How widespread is that knowledge (is it available for every compendium writer, is it new, so you would need to address that ,newness‘). You mages it used already for spell description, but maybe this would be an issue which should be cleared up once and for all.




Lightning Drakes

A drake of the mountains, lightning drakes are known for their ability to produce lightning currents. While they are usually contained to their personal territories during fair weather, they become fiercely active in lightning storms. During these storms, they replenish their lightning capacities and engage in violent battles in dominance for mating rights. While they are technically classified as a drake, many refer to the creature as a lightning dragon.

Description: The lightning drake, ten to twelve peds from snout to tail (with females being slightly larger than males), is a fierce creature, menacing and ruthless, and this shows in their cold, reptilian eyes. Just behind these piercing eyes, horns protrude straight back in a slight curve, shimmering frighteningly. The rounded jaw leads to a lean snout filled with sharp teeth and acidic saliva that burns through the flesh of its prey, beginning the digestive process before its food even enters its stomach. Tendrils protruding from the jaw shimmer like lightning.

I think Judy had invented a Santharian word for it, but I can‘t find it.


From the top of the head, a jagged crest follows down the drake’s elongated neck, leading to its muscular body and continues to the tip of the tail, which makes up almost half of the drake’s length. A being mainly of the air and not of the earth, the lightning drake depends first on its wings for motion, and the muscles in its back contribute to the strength of these enormous wings. With the shape of a bat’s, the wings are punctuated with horns at the joints and are sharply defined in cold angles. The drake’s back legs give it upward-climbing ability, and here, too, the drake has significant musculature.

The front legs of the drake are small and rarely used, as the drake generally sits on its enormous hind legs when at rest. However, the drake’s legs, both hind-legs and fore-legs, form into sharp claws, which it uses to grasp the crags of its mountainous habitat, as well as to hunt for food and defend itself.

Illuminated by current, the lightning drake glows in frightening hues ranging from a striking silver to an electrifying purple, each scale imbued with its own haunting light. When at rest, the drake turns a dull grayish brown, blending in to its rocky environment. Its eyes are often an icy blue.

Here you use ,current‘ as ,electric current‘. See above.

Special Abilities: The lightning drake, as its name suggests, can produce lightning current. Where this power arises from, none knows, but the power seems to come from deep inside, manifested at will. When sleeping or at rest, the drake becomes more neutral in colour, its scales lack-luster, but when defending its nest or territory, its body becomes illuminated by lightning.

Contrary to popular belief, the lightning drake cannot “throw” lightning or toss lightning “bolts” at enemies. However, those who come in contact with the drake suffer the charge emanating sporadically from its form. By touch (and sometimes proximity), lightning charges flow through any being with whom the drake comes in contact with. This, however, happens only when the drake taps its lightning abilities.

The use of ,charge‘ is even more disputable, for it requires even more research in this area.
Maybe include the word ,direct‘ (at enemies), that makes it a it clearer. Here I would try to go far away from our earthen physics and not only allow flow ? of electric charge to somebody through touch and only in rare cases a leaping (?). Why not let your dragon defend itself (has it any enemies?) with a burst out of elcectric enegy, even if it is not directed. Or  stun their prey through a minor attack, so that it is easier for them to catch them. What for have they develped this ability, for mating only? It could even be, that one of this beasts was brought down, because it exhausted its stored lightning energy. (Seems, it has a condensator in its belly ;) )


The ‘lightning’ capabilities of the drake are mediated through lightning exposure. Only through occasional exposure can a lightning drake maintain its lightning abilities. For this reason and others, these drakes are most active during lightning storms, where they take to flight into violent skies. Because of the limits of the ability, drakes generally only use it when necessary. They depend a great deal on their claws and small, razor teeth.

Territory: The lightning drake resides primarily in the Mountains of Nirmenith, in a range including the Rahaz-Dath Desert's Norong Sorno area. These drakes thrive on the western side of the mountain range where lightning storms are a frequent result of high winds and warm climate. Despite sharing territory with other dragon-kin, the lightning drake does not often clash with others in the area. They can be found in scattered numbers in the Lands of Pain. Very rarely lightning drakes have been seen on the outskirts of the Aj'Nuvic grounds, seeking out game only during dire circumstance.

I need to write to that part more at another time, if needed (though it was the reason I looked), we can change it always later . I have some cool ideas I hope you like! :)

Habitat/Behavior: The lightning drakes are solitary creatures. Occupying themselves to hunting and stalking about their own cliffs and crags, they feast upon the fauna of the area, which they will often dive upon and mutilate with their sharp claws and teeth. While they are vicious and violent creatures, they are relatively harmless to humans who leave them to their isolation.

They generally hunt during the day, and lie in rest in caves and under over-hangings where they blend in well with the rocky surroundings. Relatively mundane, the drakes seem safely contained in fair weather. When a lightning storm moves in, though, the drakes become wildly active and violent. They roar with a high-pitched screech as a way of calling out their presence. Sensing the storm, drakes travel, sometimes leagues, to where a storm is raging, and there will often engage in fights with other drakes of the same sex. These fights are often terrifyingly fantastic to behold—giant beasts aglow with lightning current, battling in the stormy darkness.

Diet: The lightning drake is not a picky eater, and will consume most any creature that wonders into its mountainous abode. However, the drake is particularly fond of larger game, such as mountain goats, though they will also eat sand mice, rabbits, snakes like the Rahaz’Norong (commonly know as the "Thalambath Snake"), and birds. The drakes also journey closer to the foothills to feed on deer, such as the ar'bez, the g'nu and the aka'pi, and will feast on any oryx, brown á'neayh, or ellez'ga that enter their habitat.

The lightning drake can go days, even weeks, without eating as it waits for migratory game to enter its habitat. Not opposed to scavenging, they will take what food they can get. While the drakes don’t appear to be fond of consuming humanoid races, attacks are not unknown, and the wise traveller will avoid lightning drake territory, or at least pass through with caution.

Mating: While mating behaviour may occur in other situations, the only documented observations have been during the fall and spring, when storms are more likely. Many scholars attribute the violent behaviour of lightning drakes during storms to the fact that these beasts generally engage in intercourse during this time. Aggression between drakes is generally interpreted as displays of power and strength. Females that prove their superiority over other females get to choose their males more selectively—and they will often choose males who have proven themselves superior over other males. The female is usually the initiator of intercourse.

Intercourse is a semi-violent affair, but brief.

Rayne, expand on the abilites of your drake! Make those meetings more spectacular! I mean, they are lightning drakes, why? Because they need the flow of huge charges from male to female (or vice versa) to triger the ovulation. Of course we don‘t know that, but I would expect a nice big lightning with additional thunder when they touch! <insert manga-like lightnings>  Maybe the male empties his whole charge into the female. Imagine, they mate over the Lands of Pain, or over the Narfost Plain, or even over Varcopas (more to the south) during a thunderstorm! Ha, need to rewrite/add to that town! :D


A few months later, females will lay two to four eggs in a mountain nest constructed of pebbles, gravel, and often the skins of prey. Females fiercely defend their nests until their young hatch in the three to four months following. When the little drakes emerge, they are a fraction of the size of their parents, about the size of a hobbit or small child. However, they grow quickly. Nest mates compete for food and space, and rarely does more than one survive. Some of the young drakes will starve, unable to compete for food. However, more often, the stronger will shove the weaker out of the nest, causing them to meet their death on the mountain.


So the Shendar could find such a dead nestling at the base? Cool :)


The few young that do survive leave the nest less than two months after hatching. From here, they generally become transients, searching the mountains for a place of their own and feasting upon rabbits, rats, and other small animals until they are able to tackle larger game. It takes approximately a year after they leave the nest for these drakes to reproduce. However, once they are sexually active, they will generally mate at least once a year.

It is generally assumed that, like most dragon-kin, the lightning drake has a sizable lifespan. However, because of frequent deaths during lightning storm fights, the true lifespan remains hard to approximate.

Myth/Origin: During the year of darkness following the Dragonstorm, myth weaves the tale of a great storm that raged over Thalambath. For weeks it showered over the city. The people called and cried for reprieve from the horrible thunderstorm that threw down lightning from dark and tumultuous skies, from the thunder that roared through the air. They prayed to Grothar to stop the endless storm, but as the storm arose from the depression and anxiety of the Thalambath people, he could not eliminate it entirely from the sky. Therefore, he gave the storm a more corporeal form, turning it into hundreds of drakes that fled to the nearby volcanoes, and there they have dwelled ever since. When storms again come to the area, the people of Thalambath say these dragons once again recall their violent origins, and take flight to chase the lightning.

I don‘t think this will work, for Grothar is not in high esteem in Thalambath, need to check this though, or ask Fox.

Researchers: While few researchers have sought out the lightning drake as serious study, many other researchers peregrinating through the drake's habitat have written extensively on rare and dangerous encounters with the beast. One of the few observations of the drake's ferocious lightning-storm battles was recorded by volcano-researcher Bertius Felgrad, a dwarf of the Nirmenith clan, on the 8th day of the Passing Clouds in 1443.:

Rayne, I doubt that a dwarf would be a researcher of a volcano. These ones are not even established and only few. They would probably not be allowed to do any research there anyway, because either the Shendar or the Thalambathians would not allow it.  He would not refer to Queprur also, but to his god, I assume.

We had travelled many leagues, up the rocky crags and cliffs that crumbled underfoot and threatened with every step to send us reeling, tumbling down the merciless mountain face. Asebell, who has thus far guided us through the more dangerous mountain passes, near met her end when a stone slipped beneath her feet, and it was only through Gladoph's quick reaction she survived, grabbed and hoisted to safety. It is a frightening sign that even the most experienced climbers among us could meet Queprur on this mountain.

I, for my part, lingered near the back of the party, and traced the safe footings of those ahead. Just after Sunblaze on our third day travailing the perilous paths of this forsaken mountain, the sky began to grow dark and ominous. I, a mere researcher, cursed the possibility of a storm, but the situation appeared much more dire to Asebell and Gladoph. "Quick! We must find cover!" called Asebell, and we sought out the shelter of an overhanging. The five of us, Asebell, Gladoph, Rosina, Belgrouf, and myself, curled into the small space, and huddled together. The clouds above grew angry and dark, and piercing through the shadow sky came a call so frightening I felt every bone in my body go cold.

"What was that?" Belgrouf shrilled.

"Sh!" insisted Gladoph.

"We must be quiet," said Asebell, and the party became as silent as a grave.

We all peered out into the sky. Another call echoed out over the high mountains, but I could not see from whence it came. What monster or beast could make such a sound? A bright, cold flash of light! Lightning!--my heart jumped. The rumble of it stirred our very cores. Then another--and another! "This isn't good," whispered Asebell. "The storm is forming right above of us."

"What's going on--" Rosina began, and then a sight hushed her question--it hushed all of us, our thoughts, our breaths, our heartbeats: in the distance, a beast appeared in our sight, nearly twelve peds long, with merciless eyes and jagged crest. Its wings spread out as though to enclose the earth. It called out--a sound that pierced me, filled me with a terror I had never known. On a mountaintop not far off, it landed, and the stones and rocks crumbled under its massive claws. It lifted its head and long neck into the air and roared again. For many moments I stared at it, caught by the fear of it seeing me, but unable to move, frozen by the sight.

Then, all at once, the rocks clattered in front of us as another dragon passed right above our heads. So surprised were we that we hardly noticed that the lightning strikes were becoming more frequent. The sky roared, and the ground rumbled beneath us. All at once, the dragon atop the yonder mountain exploded into lightning-like illumination, tentacles of light emanating from its scaled, reptilian body. It roared at the oncoming dragon, hissing dreadfully. All at once, the other dragon went aglow with current. (??) They clashed!--an explosion of hideous light! They struck and clamoured, their tails whipping and teeth bared. Lightning struck them--a sizzling and a crash!--they glowed ever brighter in bestial battle!

Oh, here you have it, though not a mating! Here you have also the flow described which doesn‘t need the touch of bodies!

For a long while we watched in horror as the two dragons fought. The minutes slid by like hours, and while enraptured at the ferocity and beauty of the conflict before us, we feared every moment we might be spotted. In a sudden flash of lightning, accompanied by a screeching cry, one of the dragons shuttered and fell. It's body, once blazing with lightning, fell dull and defeated to the ground. The victor roared out, and her voice echoed through the tumultuous skies. She took to flight again, and vanished from our sight.

For a long while, none of us spoke. Beyond the overhanging under which we held closely together, the sky was still churning. By Lastflame, the clouds had dissipated. We moved with caution out from our hidden enclave and sought out a safe place for rest. As the night deepened, we spoke very little, all of us haunted by the image of dragons.

That ,report‘ is much more like I see them tha your description!

To the researches: Why don‘t you take Shendar instead of dwarves? (Names needed to be altered slightly)  They would be the natural choice (next to the citizens of Thalambath). Or, why not take the two from the Falserock entry, they are already established. (I asked you that already, think you have missed it.)


Asa‘bell, Gla‘do, Ro‘sina, Bel‘gro

Sorry Rayne, this seemed at first to be a quicker readthrough than the academy.
;)
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« Reply #33 on: 31 December 2009, 01:17:23 »

I'm going to reply to summarized comments:

lightning charges, currents: You have taken issue with this but not offered a solution that you feel is workable! If there's not solution, I have nothing to change them to, and they will stay as is.

Details: Same comment as Kalina--these drakes are not highly researched. They have only be observed here and there. No one knows exactly what takes place during mating, because mating is minimally viewed, and has only been observed from a distance. It would be terribly unrealistic to put details about mating given that Santharia does not possess the technology to get close enough!

Dwarven researcher: Why don't you think a dwarf would be a good researcher? Especially a Nirmenith dwarf. Given these dwarves still claim to be legitimate citizens of the old empire, and live in the area, I don't see why they would not be allowed on the volcano--and even if they were not, I'm sure dwarves that see their lineage tracing back would still go anyway, feeling they had some sort of right. If you want, I can make one of the guides Shendar, but I don't see why a Shendar would be as interested in volcanic research.
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« Reply #34 on: 07 January 2010, 08:07:51 »

*rolls up her sleeves, preparing for a match with Rayne*  heart


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lightning charges, currents: You have taken issue with this but not offered a solution that you feel is workable! If there's not solution, I have nothing to change them to, and they will stay as is.

Ermm, no, it doesn't work this way. 'Lightning currents' might be ok, I said, I might not have the right feeling for it and you native speakers do not necessarily think at an electric current. Even if so, it does not necessarily harm, for current is used for 'maritime current' as well, so why not 'lightning current'.

'Charge' is something different. It is a new concept. At least in the "scientific" realm, don't know how often it was used in the magic area already, with a different meaning. It is not my task to find a solution, but yours to ask the community, if we want to advance so far into science, that we have at least a faint knowledge, what it could mean. Therefore my mentioning, when it came up on earth. Integrating it in an entry like this is bringing it in via the back door, don't you think so? However, I won't shout, if you think it is ok.

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Details: Same comment as Kalina--these drakes are not highly researched. They have only be observed here and there. No one knows exactly what takes place during mating, because mating is minimally viewed, and has only been observed from a distance. It would be terribly unrealistic to put details about mating given that Santharia does not possess the technology to get close enough!

Oh, these details were just meant as developer's knowledge mostly, except the violent exchange of "charge"  buck during mating . If you know anything about mating, then you would know this as well, but it was a proposal only.

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Dwarven researcher: Why don't you think a dwarf would be a good researcher? Especially a Nirmenith dwarf. Given these dwarves still claim to be legitimate citizens of the old empire, and live in the area, I don't see why they would not be allowed on the volcano--and even if they were not, I'm sure dwarves that see their lineage tracing back would still go anyway, feeling they had some sort of right. If you want, I can make one of the guides Shendar, but I don't see why a Shendar would be as interested in volcanic research.

There are several reasons, why this will not work.

Quote dwarven entry:

1. The home of the dwarves undoubtedly is the mountain, the caves and the mines in which they are working. Only very reluctantly they leave their homes, and if they do so, mainly to search for new mines and profits or to fight to gain honor, whoever the foe.

There might be single individuals who do not follow the normal habit, but a whole group? Why would a dwarf be interested in volcanic research? More than a Shendar who lives really nearby?

2. The dwarven empire was not where the volcano is now, but under the Nirmenith mountains. They feel today, that the way of their living was wrong and the cause, the empire was destroyed (partly). So why would they want to research that volcano? They have more reason not to go there.

3. The dwarves would have no chance to get near the volcano without help. And they would have to pay very well, if a Shendar would agree to guide them there.

- The west side of the volcano is not accessible, because there the lava flows freely down in the sea. The south is Thalambathian territory and they don't like foreigners very well, especially not near the lavatubes where their business lies. But Fox knows this better, if anyone would be allowed there.  The North (Lands of Pain) and partly the east (up the slopes) is claimed by Thalambath, it is a sacred area (tombs etc) there and I doubt, that they allow any foreigners in this area.

It is in general a very unforgiving landscape - would a group of dwarves go there voluntarily?

If you want to have these dwarves observing the dragons, you could place the observation in the northern part of the Nirmenith mountains south of Varcopas. There it would be more probable to see a dwarf above ground occasionally.

Oh, territory!
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« Reply #35 on: 07 January 2010, 08:13:19 »

*gets out the popcorn and settles in for a long one*  buck
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« Reply #36 on: 07 January 2010, 08:30:51 »

*takes the popcorn of Alt and munches all down herself to get enough strength*

Territory:

Quote
Territory: The lightning drake resides primarily in the Mountains of Nirmenith, in a range including the Rahaz-Dath Desert's Norong Sorno area.

That sounds, as if the Norong‘Sorno is part of the Nirmeniths. ???? Is not!

Quote
These drakes thrive on the western side of the mountain range where lightning storms are a frequent result of high winds and warm climate. Despite sharing territory with other dragon-kin, the lightning drake does not often clash with others in the area. They can be found in scattered numbers in the Lands of Pain. Very rarely lightning drakes have been seen on the outskirts of the Aj'Nuvic grounds, seeking out game only during dire circumstance.

The Lands of Pain is fairly flat apart from the smaller volcanoes (partly active, not very high) north of the Norong‘Sorno. So I don‘t know, if they would thrive there. Don‘t they nest and rest on high rocks, sleep under overhangs?

I wonder, why they do not search for prey in the AJ‘Nuvic grounds, I would think , they would be a good hunting ground. High in altitude, with enough prey.

If they fly as far as the Norong‘Sorno when the weather is right, would they not enjoy the warm upwinds the Narfost cliffs produce sometimes? Even the grassy plane for easy hunting? Just an idea though.

Note, that the mountains west of the AJ‘Nuvic Grounds are not part of the Nirmenith Mountains themselves, but belong to the area of the cloudforest (the trees are not the only area for it).  Maybe there is a misunderstanding!

What about the nesting area I marked on the map? Hunting could be much wider.
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« Reply #37 on: 07 January 2010, 13:00:50 »

::wanders in wearily. Such a long day, but there is no rest for the weary. She glances at the commentary and sighs a little::

As far as the lightning thing goes, I don't have the same associations as you do. In all honesty, lightning has been an continuing issue on Santharia in many different realms, and perhaps it will never be decided. I only made this entry for Seeker's picture, to show my love and appreciation of his art. I did not create the entry for it to necessarily go on the site (I create out of love of creating--I'm a wood elf, what can I say?).

As I mentioned before, you've told me you have a problem with the lighting terminology, but have given no solution. I have no alternatives--there aren't that many out there, as I see it. Therefore, the terms stay until the issue is resolved--even if it means they've never resolved and this entry never goes up. That's the reality.

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Oh, these details were just meant as developer's knowledge mostly, except the violent exchange of "charge"  buck during mating . If you know anything about mating, then you would know this as well, but it was a proposal only.
Mating can be viewed from a distance because these drakes are HUGE and because mating is rather noticeable. Probably viewed by those who were unfortunately stuck on the mountain during a lightning storm.


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1. The home of the dwarves undoubtedly is the mountain, the caves and the mines in which they are working. Only very reluctantly they leave their homes, and if they do so, mainly to search for new mines and profits or to fight to gain honor, whoever the foe.
Generalities will throw you astray. The Zirghurim dwarves traveled from their mountains to the city of Ximax to aid with construction. And The Mitharims travel at least enough to have a good deal of extra-racial contact. Let's try to be specific with the tribe we're working with, ne?

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There might be single individuals who do not follow the normal habit, but a whole group? Why would a dwarf be interested in volcanic research? More than a Shendar who lives really nearby?
What do you mean a whole group? I only mentioned the race of ONE of the members--just the researcher. I never specified the races of the others in the group (because it's unnecessary information and because it would make no sense in context to mention this information.) Though I will say I was intending the guide to be Shendar. And I assumed that the fact that dwarves mine from time to time, and are occasionally interested in mountains and minerals, might make them a good choice for researching a volcano, which has many mountain-like characteristics.

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2. The dwarven empire was not where the volcano is now, but under the Nirmenith mountains. They feel today, that the way of their living was wrong and the cause, the empire was destroyed (partly). So why would they want to research that volcano? They have more reason not to go there.
If you're interested in volcanoes, you go to where there are volcanoes. This has generally been a pattern in my experience. Those who are interested in rain forests go to the rain forest, while those who are interested in kangaroos go to where they can study kangaroos. It seems to be a fairy conventional practice in research, to my knowledge.

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3. The dwarves would have no chance to get near the volcano without help. And they would have to pay very well, if a Shendar would agree to guide them there.
Oh, like Asebell, their guide? I thought so, too. I'm glad we're in accord.

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- The west side of the volcano is not accessible, because there the lava flows freely down in the sea. The south is Thalambathian territory and they don't like foreigners very well, especially not near the lavatubes where their business lies. But Fox knows this better, if anyone would be allowed there.  The North (Lands of Pain) and partly the east (up the slopes) is claimed by Thalambath, it is a sacred area (tombs etc) there and I doubt, that they allow any foreigners in this area.
So, just so I know what's going on, we're sure that the Norong-Sorno is the volcano that the group is exploring, right?

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It is in general a very unforgiving landscape - would a group of dwarves go there voluntarily?
It's strange: you can tell those cobra researchers that cobras are dangerous, or those tiger researchers than tigers are dangerous, and yet they keep going out after them!

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If you want to have these dwarves observing the dragons, you could place the observation in the northern part of the Nirmenith mountains south of Varcopas. There it would be more probable to see a dwarf above ground occasionally.
Sounds great. ... Was there something you wanted me to change, or did you want me to add this in?

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That sounds, as if the Norong‘Sorno is part of the Nirmeniths. ???? Is not!
This is my mistake. I assumed, from the smaller map I saw, that the Norong'Sorno was in the southern part of the mountain range. Hm. In this case, should we even include this volcano? It doesn't necessarily need to be part of the territory.

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The Lands of Pain is fairly flat apart from the smaller volcanoes (partly active, not very high) north of the Norong‘Sorno. So I don‘t know, if they would thrive there. Don‘t they nest and rest on high rocks, sleep under overhangs?
See above. It might be better to just remove that part of the territory.

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I wonder, why they do not search for prey in the AJ‘Nuvic grounds, I would think , they would be a good hunting ground. High in altitude, with enough prey.
Haha. Oh, Talia. Don't be silly. Aj'Nuvic are far too cute to eat. (Seriously--this was my mindset for not making them part of the diet).

OK, that's enough for now, I think. Forgive my sarcasm. I'm in a grumbly place right now. I love you, Talia. You're the only one I know who can take my snide comments for what they're worth: nothing. @_@ heart
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« Reply #38 on: 07 January 2010, 15:15:01 »

How about 'bolts' instead of charges?
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« Reply #39 on: 07 January 2010, 19:35:22 »

*Talia takes Rayne to the most comfortable chair in her Bardavosian house (which she has acquired only recently), shoves her in it, takes her legs and puts them on a stool with a soft cushion and wraps her in a light blanket against the light chill of the night.*

„So, I was prepared for a nice match with you and you come in exhausted. That‘s not fair. You were even too tired to see my proposals. “ Talia looks affectionately at her and removes a strand of her black hair from her face. „Here, take a cup of Sky Tea, Alýr. I buttered you a Children‘s Delight also. Have some rest, and then we will speak once more about that magnificent creature of yours?“

Talia sits silently for a while, waiting for Rayne to get some rest, before she starts to address the issues with the Lightning Dragon.



************************

Rayne, dear, are you now refreshed enough to listen and talk to me?

You say: „I did not create the entry for it to necessarily go on the site.“ or „Therefore, the terms stay until the issue is resolved--even if it means they've never resolved and this entry never goes up. That's the reality.“  That is nonsense. First, I love to have this dragon roaming my lands, second, it is just a bit more effort needed to integrate it. Third - Seeker‘s pic might not get up soon.  

As I clearly said, I have no problems with ,lightning current‘, if it sounds right in your native ears.
You say, I have given you no solution to the ,charge‘ problem. That‘s not true. I gave you no easy solution, no different word. But I pointed you to a possible way out. I will say it again:

Do some research about when the electric ,charge‘ was discovered on Earth and to what an extent. I gave you some names above and you will surely find more information. I think the very first ways to deal with it could well be applied in Santharia as well when we need it - as a new field of research. And then propose the introduction of it! That is some work, but instead of throwing out some new entries, work on this one! Please :)

Another possibility could be, to explain/describe it in magical terms, that could be even wrong! But here I have no clue, if that would be a way.


Your myth section still needs some changes. I will list them again.

Thalambath does not believe in Grothar, you can find it here:
http://www.santharia.com/dev/index.php/topic,13828.0.html

As a dwarf whose tribe has accepted the belief of the other clans, Bertius does not believe in Queprur, see dwarven belief: http://www.santharia.com/races/dwarven_belief.htm

The Nirmenith Dwarves are only a few and they go out to tend to the lower structures to both towns, Varcopas and Bardavos, but I don‘t want to make them exceptionally outgoing.. But let‘s see, what we can do here.

Whole group: The way you have written it let the reader assume, that the whole group consists of dwarves, especially the names hint at that, or do at least not point to other races explicitly,  (nomenclature) and that sounds wrong. Asebell is definitely is no Shendar name. Your myth is so long, so some information about the other group members would not hurt, those who have this research enabled. I don‘t find this insignificant.  I would stress as well, that he is an extraordinaire dwarf, who does not mind to venture on high mountains instead of deep caves.. Can only add to the flavour. That dwarves do get interested in a volcano is rather farfetched. I could say, it is not important for your description of the encounter with the dragons, that it is a dwarf at all, so why do you mention a race at all? Why the trouble to use a dwarf, if another race would be so more easier? Why don‘t you take a Kaizranian, that would resolve ALL problems. Do I see some stubbornness here?

„So, just so I know what's going on, we're sure that the Norong-Sorno is the volcano that the group is exploring, right?“

There is no other volcano around, and if you want to have one of the smaller ones attached to it, the same problems are valid.

„It's strange: you can tell those cobra researchers that cobras are dangerous, or those tiger researchers than tigers are dangerous, and yet they keep going out after them!“

Right, but the question is more - would a dwarf ever be able to do such a research, would not his racial restrictions and preferences prohibit this, why create such an extraordinaire character? But that is not what bothers me.

I proposed to use the northern Nirmenith Mountains instead of the volcano, for that would solve a lot of problems. It is much more likely to find a Nirmenith Dwarf there than in the South.

I think it would fit to these dragons, if they hunt/mate in a much bigger area than they nest (the marked are on the map), I will have lightning storms in the Lands of Pain. Would be cool to have them there.

I did not say, that they will prey on aj‘nuvics, though this might happen as well. There is plenty of other prey there for them!

My proposal: If you want to have your dwarf so dearly, say, that he is exceptional and give him a group of Kaizranian (name adaptions needed, I suppose --> Fox) with him, and approach the mountain from the east, from the Cari‘Cari Oasis.
That would solve all issues! :)

*********************

*Talia gets up to fetch another cup of cha‘ah, but when coming back Rayne is asleep, curled up in the big armchair. So she just tucks the blanket around her a bit firmer and tiptoes away to not disturb her sleep.*

How about bolts? *echoes Kali*
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« Reply #40 on: 08 January 2010, 02:40:31 »

*Talia takes Rayne to the most comfortable chair in her Bardavosian house (which she has acquired only recently), shoves her in it, takes her legs and puts them on a stool with a soft cushion and wraps her in a light blanket against the light chill of the night.*

„So, I was prepared for a nice match with you and you come in exhausted. That‘s not fair. You were even too tired to see my proposals. “ Talia looks affectionately at her and removes a strand of her black hair from her face. „Here, take a cup of Sky Tea, Alýr. I buttered you a Children‘s Delight also. Have some rest, and then we will speak once more about that magnificent creature of yours?“

Talia sits silently for a while, waiting for Rayne to get some rest, before she starts to address the issues with the Lightning Dragon.

 heart heart heart heart heart heart heart heart


Quote
You say: „I did not create the entry for it to necessarily go on the site.“ or „Therefore, the terms stay until the issue is resolved--even if it means they've never resolved and this entry never goes up. That's the reality.“  That is nonsense. First, I love to have this dragon roaming my lands, second, it is just a bit more effort needed to integrate it. Third - Seeker‘s pic might not get up soon.  
Ah, you know me, though. I like to get things done and move on. There is so much to be developed!

Quote
As I clearly said, I have no problems with ,lightning current‘, if it sounds right in your native ears.
You say, I have given you no solution to the ,charge‘ problem. That‘s not true. I gave you no easy solution, no different word. But I pointed you to a possible way out. I will say it again:

Do some research about when the electric ,charge‘ was discovered on Earth and to what an extent. I gave you some names above and you will surely find more information. I think the very first ways to deal with it could well be applied in Santharia as well when we need it - as a new field of research. And then propose the introduction of it! That is some work, but instead of throwing out some new entries, work on this one! Please :)

Another possibility could be, to explain/describe it in magical terms, that could be even wrong! But here I have no clue, if that would be a way.
Lightning current is problematic because different people are going to interpret it different ways. For some, it will sound fine. For others, it may sound to modern. "Bolts" don't work for denotative purposes ("a shaft of lightning; thunderbolt" --these aren't shafts). I mean, I'm not opposed of using an old word in a new way, if we want to do that. I think we may have to come to grips with the fact that there is no perfect term for this context.

Wikipedia:
Quote
Long before any knowledge of electricity existed people were aware of shocks from electric fish. Ancient Egyptian texts dating from 2750 BC referred to these fish as the "Thunderer of the Nile", and described them as the "protectors" of all other fish.

Not the same as what I'm describing. When you start doing research, most of what comes up is electricity. People recognized lightning before they knew what electricity was. We're taking lightning out of the sky and throwing it on to a dragon. No one on earth has ever seen this--has never experienced lightning apart from its natural occurrence in the sky. Therefore, there is no term for it. "Current" and "charge" are the best I can come up with.

And lightning is still debated in magic (is it air? Is it fire?). We always assumed it belonged in the air school, but in fact, it probably belongs in fire. I don't say this too loud, because it causes some issues with other magic-related things. I will mention, though, that the magic area always has entries that make use of "electricity" up on the site.

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Your myth section still needs some changes. I will list them again.
I like to make edits all at once.

Quote
Thalambath does not believe in Grothar, you can find it here:
http://www.santharia.com/dev/index.php/topic,13828.0.html
You mentioned this--but this is a problem without a solution. What do I change it to?

Quote
As a dwarf whose tribe has accepted the belief of the other clans, Bertius does not believe in Queprur, see dwarven belief: http://www.santharia.com/races/dwarven_belief.htm
Shall I change it to Trum-Barroll? Or perhaps I could just replace it with "Death," personifying it instead of attributing it directly to a belief system.

Quote
Whole group: The way you have written it let the reader assume, that the whole group consists of dwarves, especially the names hint at that, or do at least not point to other races explicitly,  (nomenclature) and that sounds wrong.
I think most of the names could be human, dwarven, or even hobbitish. They don't sound to me to belong to one race or another.

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Asebell is definitely is no Shendar name.
It's not a dwarven name either. But I concur. Perhaps you can suggest a more Shendar name for me?

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Your myth is so long, so some information about the other group members would not hurt, those who have this research enabled. I don‘t find this insignificant.
If you're writing in a journal (and this quote is from this guy's research notes), you will not state in every entry that "Oh, by the way, in case you had forgotten, these are the races of all the people with me. In fact, let me add in their heights, birthdays, and favorite colors, too." You just do not do this in research writing. The focus is on the journey--the people were introduced beforehand.

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I would stress as well, that he is an extraordinaire dwarf, who does not mind to venture on high mountains instead of deep caves.. Can only add to the flavour.
I don't really see how this detail is pertinent to lightning drakes.

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That dwarves do get interested in a volcano is rather farfetched.
I disagree.

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I could say, it is not important for your description of the encounter with the dragons, that it is a dwarf at all, so why do you mention a race at all? Why the trouble to use a dwarf, if another race would be so more easier? Why don‘t you take a Kaizranian, that would resolve ALL problems. Do I see some stubbornness here?
It makes more sense to me to have mountain-like geographical features researched by a race that inhabits mountain-like geographical features. It makes more sense to me to have a race deeply associated with EARTH to research a feature also associated with EARTH. This simply seems more logical to me. And i mention race because, if I didn't, you would have told me that I should.  :P

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There is no other volcano around, and if you want to have one of the smaller ones attached to it, the same problems are valid.
Oh. I thought those were volcanoes in the Land of Pain. What are those little mountain-like things with the dark tops?

Quote
Right, but the question is more - would a dwarf ever be able to do such a research, would not his racial restrictions and preferences prohibit this, why create such an extraordinaire character? But that is not what bothers me.
Dwarves wanting to learn more about fiery mountains doesn't seem out of his racial restriction. Keep in mind that volcanoes tend to produce interesting minerals. Dwarves pride themselves on their knowledge and work on such things.

Quote
I proposed to use the northern Nirmenith Mountains instead of the volcano, for that would solve a lot of problems. It is much more likely to find a Nirmenith Dwarf there than in the South.
Mountain-researcher? If it makes you happy, I will change it. Doesn't mean that much to me.

Quote
I think it would fit to these dragons, if they hunt/mate in a much bigger area than they nest (the marked are on the map), I will have lightning storms in the Lands of Pain. Would be cool to have them there.
So remove Norong'Sorno, keep Lands of Pain?

Quote
I did not say, that they will prey on aj‘nuvics, though this might happen as well. There is plenty of other prey there for them!
What other prey is here? Would I need to alter my description of diet?


Quote
*Talia gets up to fetch another cup of cha‘ah, but when coming back Rayne is asleep, curled up in the big armchair. So she just tucks the blanket around her a bit firmer and tiptoes away to not disturb her sleep.*
Zzzzzz....  heart  heart  heart


Summary:
1) Grothar needs to be changed to another god: What god?
2) Queprur needs to change changed: "Death"?
3) Races: do we make the researcher one of mountains instead of volcanoes..? Change names?
4) Terriory: Take out Norong'Sorno, keep Lands of Pain, perhaps add in Aj'Nuvic grounds (we might say that, for some reason, the drakes don't attack these creatures?)
5) Diet: changes based on territory?
6) Lightning:  noidea
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« Reply #41 on: 08 January 2010, 02:52:40 »

Lightning:  Stream?  Zephyr?  Path?  Spark?  Alluvion?  Cataclysm?  Flow?  Flux?  Spate?  Surge?  Torrent?  Wave?  Issue?  Effussion?  Movement?  River?  Transfer?  Passage?  Mode?  Streak?  Stripe?  Diffusion? 

Maybe one of these?  Or more than one depending on the context used?

Just trying to be of use.  Ignore me at will. :)
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« Reply #42 on: 08 January 2010, 02:55:53 »

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Just trying to be of use.  Ignore me at will. :)
I am far too smitten with you to ignore you.  heart

I like lightning surge. I want to give that image of lightning currents sort of surrounding and crackling about the drake.

Do we want to remove lightning current or keep it?
Do we want to remove lightning charge or keep it?

What works and what doesn't?
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« Reply #43 on: 08 January 2010, 03:00:59 »

I don't like lightning charge, and I am quite sure it can be replaced with something else.

Lightning current can or cannot be kept. If a way could be found to change it, go for it. If not, don't sweat it!
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« Reply #44 on: 08 January 2010, 03:06:27 »

The word "charge" is used twice in the entry, both in one paragraph:

Quote
Contrary to popular belief, the lightning drake cannot “throw” lightning or toss lightning “bolts” at enemies. However, those who come in contact with the drake suffer the charge emanating sporadically from its form. By touch (and sometimes proximity), lightning charges flow through any being with whom the drake comes in contact with. This, however, happens only when the drake taps its lightning abilities.

Could the first use be replaced with "shocks"? Does anyone have objections to this word?

Suggested revision:
Quote
Contrary to popular belief, the lightning drake cannot “throw” lightning or toss lightning “bolts” at enemies. However, those who come in contact with the drake suffer the shocks from lightning emanating sporadically from its form. By touch (and sometimes proximity), lightning surges flow through any being with whom the drake comes in contact with. This, however, happens only when the drake taps its lightning abilities.
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