Sword of Three (Artifact)

Shin Velleheim

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Sword of Three (Artifact)

« on: 01 April 2010, 01:40:35 »

Edited. Advice wanted as always.

Weapon: Sword of Three

Description
It looks like a simple slim sword. The blade is 1 Ped, 2 Palmspans, 1 Nailsbreadth and 4 Grains long and has slim groves about the blade. The hilt is that of a normal sword however if a good mage looks closely he could see that the hilt is held in place by magic and is protected from the blades own sharpness.

Usage
Anyone who uses swords, however its more commonly used by Assassins.

Fighting Style
Anyone who has some skill in swordsmanship can wield it...though it is better if someone especially skilled with swords wield it. It excells in slashing and stabbing so it is well suited for for soldiers and assassin alike.

Origin/History
No one truly knows its origins. It was said to be created by Queprur as a cruel joke. She created many of said blades and the secret of making of them is given only to smithys that have chaotic tendencies.

Additional Note
The weapons edge is so sharp it can cut through anything except magic. Because of its nature it requires a layer of magic to cover the blade to prevent one from getting the sheathe itself cut through. Its even more lethal feature is that someone or something MUST die from the sword strike. You can only perform three strokes with this sword. If you fail to kill them within three strikes then you will die instantly. This is refering to EVERY stroke you make whether intentional or not, whether it hits something or not. There have been many cases where a man was simply holding and swinging the blade to marvel at it just to die moments later. Some assassins keep a small rat in their pocket to kill to reset the sword back to three again. Also if you are on the second or third strike and you pass the sword onto someone else you will die on the spot. Only when the sword is completely recharged can it be used again.


« Last Edit: 01 April 2010, 23:32:09 by Shin Velleheim »	Logged

Valan Nonesuch

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Re: Sword of Three (Comments please)

« Reply #1 on: 01 April 2010, 02:51:53 »

Alright, so my three points for this entry are as follows.

One: Is it a weapon or an artifact? Weapons can be produced again and again, while entries that are artifacts are about a single item of some significance. They also use different entry formats Artifact/Weapon A sword is a weapon, while the Sword of Twilight would be an artifact (note the difference in names)

Two: Regardless of whether it is an artifact or a weapon it needs details. What you have here is a little like a half-eaten skeleton. There's not even enough to say what it is supposed to be at this point, let alone to what degree it is finished. A sword can be made dozens of different ways.
To say that it has a blade and a hilt is about as vague as you can get when you describe a sword. What is it made of? How long is the blade? Is the hilt a basket hilt, or some other design? How many hands do you need to hold it properly? Is the blade made for cutting or is it better suited to stabbing? Are there any markings on this? Does it glow?

The other side of details does want looking at. Research is one of the parts of writing any entry, and becomes doubly important when you write an entry on an artifact. "goddess of death" She has a name, yeah? An artifact especially has some sort of story about how it was created, even if it's a bar story or as likely to be factual as stories of Bigfoot. This is called "Santharianization" or "making it fit". At the moment you could lift this entry out of here and plonk it down anywhere, which isn't the idea. Everything fits somewhere after all.

Three: From the development rules

Quote

Always remember that words like "vitamins", "chemicals", "genes", "fossils" etc. usually are unknown terminology to medieval researchers. So keep away from these things, and also don't try to explain everything in detail what researchers of the 20th century have found out. Researchers of the Middle Ages weren't really "scientists", but mainly investigated what they could see, watch and thus describe. We have alchemists in the "medieval" world of Santharia, no chemists, which is an important difference, as alchemists are still lacking the profound background chemists of nowadays have.

This includes things like "molecules".

As an aside avoiding assumptions about magic is usually a good idea. While it is not outright banned, newbies are discouraged from mucking about with magic until they have a firmer grasp of the rules, the way magic works and how to fit things into the world. Magic will not usually make an entry easier to write, especially if you don't look before you leap.

Don't forget to click the links! They have important learning for you to do!

Postscript:
I've set your entry to use a posticon. This is what tells people whether or not you are working on an entry and if you think you require more comments. Please make use of them, since it makes things easier for everyone.


« Last Edit: 01 April 2010, 02:54:13 by Valan Nonesuch »	Logged

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Valan Nonesuch

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Re: Sword of Three (Comments please)

« Reply #2 on: 01 April 2010, 04:06:03 »

Please use the "modify" button, on your first post, handily located in the top right hand corner, to edit. It makes things easier. And please, remember what I said about research. We do have our own measurements (the link there will allow you to convert to Santharian measurements from metric or imperial or vice versa, in either weight or distance.

Also, we like it if people colour the changes that they make to their entries. It makes it easier for everyone.

You haven't really addressed the comments insofar as I can tell. I still don't know if it is intended to be an artifact or a weapon and a sword hilt is still a rather poor description. Take a look here Note the different ways you can design just one sword by looking at the silhouettes to the sides of the page. This might give you a better idea as to what you should be describing.

A personal aside, a seven foot blade seems a rather unwieldy weapon for an assassin based purely on its size. You can't walk around with a sword taller than you are and go unnoticed.


« Last Edit: 01 April 2010, 08:12:18 by Valan Nonesuch »	Logged

Beyond the horizon where the earth and the heavens meet
lies a certain point where they are not joined together and where, by stooping,
one might pass under the roof of the heavens.

Altario Shialt-eck-Gorrin

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Re: Sword of Three (Comments please)

« Reply #3 on: 01 April 2010, 08:06:27 »

Welcome, Shin.

Good to see that you are interested in developing here in Santharia.

I see that Valan is helping you with your entry, which is good. Valan knows quite a lot here, and always has good advice. To help illustrate what he is trying to get across to you, I have provided a link to both a great example of a sword entry, as well as a link to an artifact so that you can get comfortable with what is expected from each type of entry. The first entry is always the toughest, because you are not always sure what everyone wants from you, and it is sometimes difficult to get what you see in your minds eye to properly transfer to the written word so that we can see it the way you do. But, patience and not giving up will see you get there. Good luck.

Valen, that link you provided is a great one, and I saved it for future reference.


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