* 
Welcome Guest. Please login or register.
Did you miss your activation email?


*
gfxgfx Home Forum Help Search Login Register   gfxgfx
gfx gfx
gfx
Pages: [1]
Print
Author Topic: Lurker Beetle Revision  (Read 2528 times)
0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.
Valan Nonesuch
Santh. Member
***

Gained Aura: 113
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 1.507


Like a pudding bag full of knives


View Profile
« on: 17 May 2011, 14:31:10 »

Brief rundown of the changes made. I've made it known how you ride a beetle, merged in the pit worm entry, and reduced the size a little numbers a lot. A lot of the original entry focused exclusively on their domesticated state, and really belonged in usage, so I've expanded that, removed the ability to 'see into the infrared spectrum' and the ability to fly (because I can only let the square-cube law be violated so much)

The Lurker Beetle is a R'unorian beetle of prodigious size and strength, used as a beast of burden and as a mount for R'unorian cavalry. While unable to fly, its enormous strength and armoured carapace make it an ideal mount when a rider can be found and the beetle can be trained. The Lurker's larvae, called pit worms, are occasionally used as food in poorer regions of the isles.



Appearance

The Lurker Beetle is roughly a ped and a half tall at the "shoulder" and four and a half peds long from one end to the carapace to the other. It possesses six legs, and a hard, dark blue carapace, much like that of smaller beetles. The carapace on a female Lurker Beetle is a darker violet shade, with a pair of red stripes along the back of the carapace. A hollow space behind the head of the Lurker forms a natural saddle for a potential rider, while the rest of the shell is smooth and almost mirror bright. The body forms a tear-drop shape, with the head at the front and the body of the lurker tapering out behind it.

The head of a Lurker beetle is roughly a fore across both ways, with a set of fearsome "horns", about its mandibles. While these look dangerous, the Lurker actually uses them to forage for food, moving about leaves and grasses or dirt to find nourishment. The R'unorians use the horns to mount a harness for guiding the Lurker while it is being ridden.

From its early stages as a pit worm, the Lurker Beetle has three eyes, arranged triangularly. When the beetle matures, two of these faceted eyes are shifted to the sides of its head, where they can peer out behind the Lurker, warning it of danger.

Special Abilities
Lurker Beetles don't seem to see in the same way that other creatures do. Thanks to the arrangement of their eyes, a Lurker's field of vision is wider than that of most creatures. They are capable of seeing both in front and behind themselves, except where their own body blocks their field of vision.

Lurkers also seem to have an excellent sense of smell, which they use to locate food. This sense seems to be linked to their mouths, much like that of a snake, a Lurker can be observed to "taste" the air with its mandibles.

The carapace of a Lurker Beetle is very resilient to blows, requiring a great deal of force to penetrate. Even hammer blows have been known to rebound from a Lurker's shell. The underside of a Lurker is indeed weaker, but it requires such force to flip the animal that it may simply be easier to shoot the rider.

By virtue of its weight, a Lurker has quite a bit of push, but a Lurker beetle is also quite capable of knocking a man to the ground with one of its limbs, or pulling a substantial load, making a Lurker charge quite a fearsome sight. A Lurker is not a very quick creature, it requires a good deal of space to build up a charge. Once it has begun however, a charging Beetle is not easily stopped.

Territory
Lurker beetles are found throughout the larger R'unorian isles, though they populate R'unor itself with the greatest numbers. On the island of R'unor, there are wild Lurkers found in the Forest of Souls in small numbers, but otherwise they are found in stables for the R'unorian military, or on large farms.
    
Habitat/Behavior
In the Forest of Souls Lurkers tend to roam in small groups of five to about a dozen, consisting of one male to every five females in most cases. When there are young present, Lurkers have been observed protecting their young and keeping them corralled in small depressions where it is difficult for them to escape until they've matured. While little is capable of harming a giant beetle, their larvae are quite susceptible, leading the adult beetles to guard them closely. The only creatures capable of harming the Lurker in its adult stage are the migratory Horned Drakes that occasionally make their way as far as R'unor itself, and the Forest Trolls.

In general, Lurkers are peaceful creatures, not easily driven to violence except in defense of their young or themselves. They forage for food in groups and tend to nest in areas with heavy foliage above.

Diet
The Lurker Beetle is not an especially picky eater, though it does seem to prefer its food slightly decomposed or viscous in some way. They feed on animal corpses, rotting fruit and other vegetable matter and are even capable of crushing small bones in their mandibles.

Domesticated Lurkers are often fed compost materials, with special emphasis on vegetable and fruit leavings.

Mating
During mating season, once ever other year in the spring, females lay a group of seven or eight eggs each communally which are then fertilized by the male. The eggs are roughly a fore-across initially and held together in groups with a viscous, sticky substance. The resulting larvae. called pit worms, hatch between two and three weeks later. When they hatch, roughly half the clutch will be devoured as pit worms are born ravenous. The white grub-like creatures possess no legs at this point, and are reliant on their parents for food, usually particularly rotten in fact.

After another four weeks, the pit worms have grown to roughly adult size, and they grow legs. A week later, having attained full adult size, their skin hardens into a shiny carapace and they leave the pit their parents have dug for them.

Usages
The Lurker is used as a beast of burden, pulling plows or carts easily enough, as well as by the Blaar'kr tribe of R'unor as mounts for cavalry. Lurkers choose their riders seemingly based on smell, they have a good temperament once they are bonded to a rider, but are otherwise evasive, avoiding just about everyone in the wild. Because of the need for smell, Lurker riders have been known to be quite fragrant, traditionally leading military compounds to house their Lurker riders away from everyone else.

In poorer regions, pit worms are farmed for food, by feeding the worms when they are born, they are prevented from eating their siblings, and a surplus is created. The meat of a pit worm is quite chewy, and tastes faintly like taenish.
« Last Edit: 02 June 2011, 22:51:35 by Artimidor Federkiel » Logged

Beyond the horizon where the earth and the heavens meet
lies a certain point where they are not joined together and where, by stooping,
one might pass under the roof of the heavens.
seth ghibta
Santh. Member
***

Gained Aura: 138
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 766



View Profile
« Reply #1 on: 17 May 2011, 22:29:53 »

Nice work Valan, this clarifies everything a hell of a lot, you've made a workable, consistent creature out of what I always found quite a confusing bifurcated sort of thing. Anyways, a quick uri to take my mind off revision. mainly I'm just being my usual nosey self and asking more questions to help fill in details I think it could use. Feel free to ignore them if you don't think they're necessary.

The Lurker Beetle is a R'unorian beetle of prodigious size and strength, used as a beast of burden and as a mount for R'unorian cavalry. While unable to fly, its enormous strength and armoured carapace make it an idea mount for those who can be trained.

Appearance

The Lurker Beetle is roughly a ped and a half tall at the "shoulder" and four and a half peds long from one end to the carapace to the other. It possesses six legs, and a hard, dark blue carapace, much like that of smaller beetles. The carapace on a female Lurker Beetle is a darker violet shade, with a pair of red stripes along the back of the carapace. A hollow space behind the head of the Lurker forms a natural saddle for a potential rider, while the rest of the shell is smooth and almost mirror bright.

The head of a Lurker beetle is roughly a fore across both ways, with a set of fearsome "horns", about its mandibles. While these look dangerous, the Lurker actually uses them to forage for food, moving about leaves and grasses or dirt to find nourishment. The R'unorians use the horns to mount a harness for guiding the Lurker while it is being ridden. Youve said nothing about eyes or feelers, which confused me later when you went on to talk about them being able to see all around themselves. it might be easier to picture if we got some detail here?
       
Special Abilities
Lurker Beetles don't seem to see in the same way that other creatures do. For one, they have a much wider field of vision than most creature, being capable of seeing both in front and behind themselves, except where their own body blocks their field of vision. yep, this was what confused me - how do they do that? is it because their eyes are placed high up on the sides of their head, like a crocodile or a bison (weird examples I know, but the only ones I can think of) or do they have antennae to help out, or what?They also have an excellent sense of smell, which they use to locate food for the most part.

The carapace of a Lurker Beetle is very resilient to blows, requiring a great deal of force to penetrate. Even hammer blows have been known to rebound from a Lurker's shell. any weak points? what about their undersides? just a random thought, that.

By virtue of its weight, a Lurker has quite a bit of push, but a Lurker beetle is also quite capable of knocking a man to the ground with one of its limbs, or pulling a substantial weight, making a Lurker charge quite a fearsome sight. How fast can they run? I guess normal beetes scaled up would be fearsomely fast, but then perhaps the extra weight slows them a bit. up to you, but it'd be interesting to know.

   Territory
Lurker beetles are found throughout the larger R'unorian isles, though they populate R'unor itself with the greatest numbers. On the island of R'unor, there are wild Lurkers found in the forest of souls in small numbers, but otherwise they are found in stables for the R'unorian military, or on large farms.
   
   Habitat/Behavior
In the Forest of Souls Lurkers tend to roam in small groups of five to about a dozen, consisting of one male to every five females in most cases. When there are young present, Lurkers have been observed protecting their young and keeping them corralled in small depressions where it is difficult for them to escape until they've matured. Any natural predators? well, I'd guess so given this behaviour. of the top of my head I know nothing about the fauna of Runor, but there might be something kicking about that could eat giant beetles. Humans, even?

   Diet
The Lurker Beetle is not an especially picky eater, though it does seem to prefer its food slightly decomposed or viscous in some way. They feed on animal corpses, rotting fruit and other vegetable matter and are even capable of crushing small bones in their mandibles. Yay for detritivores! What are they fed on in captivity? I'd imagine they're pretty useful for using up waste food etc, but depending on how much they eat, they might need their own food as well? compost heaps? ;)

   Mating
During mating season, once ever other year in the spring, females lay a group of seven or eight eggs each communally which are then fertilized by the male. The eggs are roughly a fore-across initially and held together in groups with a viscous, sticky substance. The resulting larvae. called pit worms, hatch between two and three weeks later. When they hatch, roughly half the clutch will be devoured as pit worms are born ravenous. The white grub-like creatures possess no legs at this point, and are reliant on their parents for food, usually particularly rotten in fact.

After another four weeks, the pit worms have grown to roughly adult size, and they grow legs. A week later, having attained full adult size, their skin hardens into a shiny carapace and they leave the pit their parents have dug for them.

   Usages
The Lurker is used as a beast of burden, pulling plows or carts easily enough, as well as by the Blaar'kr tribe of R'unor as mounts for cavalry.
How trainable are they? des it take time to break them in or are they quite placid. You've not said much about their  temperament or intelligence, and that'd be useful here to get an idea of what sort of work they could do, how much supervision they need, etc.
In poorer regions, pit worms are farmed for food, by feeding the worms when they are born, they are prevented from eating their siblings, and a surplus is created. The meat of a pit worm is quite chewy, and tastes faintly like taenish.

As I said, you've done a great job Valan, and I've no major quibbles with it, just my usual barrage of questions to perhaps flesh it out a little bit - it is an important domesticated animal to the R'unorians afterall, so it would probably have made quite an impact on them, and they on it. :)
Logged

violence is not the answer, but you get marks if you show your working.

Santharia needs your molluscs! donate molluscs now!
Valan Nonesuch
Santh. Member
***

Gained Aura: 113
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 1.507


Like a pudding bag full of knives


View Profile
« Reply #2 on: 18 May 2011, 01:14:55 »

And fixed! In Seth-worthy Green
Logged

Beyond the horizon where the earth and the heavens meet
lies a certain point where they are not joined together and where, by stooping,
one might pass under the roof of the heavens.
Drasil Razorfang
Moderator
****

Gained Aura: 47
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 2.034



View Profile
« Reply #3 on: 18 May 2011, 05:42:13 »

Damn you crank out entries like a machine... Whats your secret?

As for comments:

- I'd like to see a bit more in the overview section.  The overview should at least be a solid paragraph, not just a couple of sentences

Quote
While unable to fly, its enormous strength and armoured carapace make it an ideal mount for those who can be trained.

This sentence is worded confusingly.  The use of the word those makes it sound like the people, not the beetles are the ones getting trained.

- Can you provide a physical description of what the pit worm looks like in the appearance section please?

Quote
For one, they have a much wider field of vision than most creatures, being capable of seeing both in front and behind themselves, except where their own body blocks their field of vision.

Two comments about this sentence.  First, its a bit of a run on.  Secondly, please avoid using the passive voice.

Quote
They also have an excellent sense of smell, which they use to locate food.

This is a seperate ability and thus should have its own paragraph.  In this new paragraph please elaborate upon how these beasts smells since they don't seem to have a nose. 

Quote
On the island of R'unor, there are wild Lurkers found in the forest of souls in small numbers, but otherwise they are found in stables for the R'unorian military, or on large farms.

Should Forest of Souls be capitalized?

Quote
In the Forest of Souls Lurkers tend to roam in small groups of five to about a dozen, consisting of one male to every five females in most cases.

What about the behavior of the beasts when they are not guarding their young?  Also, is there a difference in behavior between Lurker Beetles in captivity versus those in the wild?
Logged
Valan Nonesuch
Santh. Member
***

Gained Aura: 113
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 1.507


Like a pudding bag full of knives


View Profile
« Reply #4 on: 18 May 2011, 06:45:00 »

Further edits in red. Not quite done with the overview.
Logged

Beyond the horizon where the earth and the heavens meet
lies a certain point where they are not joined together and where, by stooping,
one might pass under the roof of the heavens.
Valan Nonesuch
Santh. Member
***

Gained Aura: 113
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 1.507


Like a pudding bag full of knives


View Profile
« Reply #5 on: 19 May 2011, 04:12:01 »

Hopefully the overview meets the requirements. I've always found lengthy overviews to be a bit superfluous myself.
Logged

Beyond the horizon where the earth and the heavens meet
lies a certain point where they are not joined together and where, by stooping,
one might pass under the roof of the heavens.
Drasil Razorfang
Moderator
****

Gained Aura: 47
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 2.034



View Profile
« Reply #6 on: 19 May 2011, 04:32:12 »

Yeah thats fine.

I've gone ahead and given you a blarrow.

For future reference, please look more carefully at the comments I provide as you missed a couple of the spelling errors I pointed out.  I've gone through and edited them for you this time, but I'd prefer not to have to in the future.

Thank you for completing this much needed and long awaited Valan!  thumbup
Logged
Pages: [1]
Print
Jump to:  

Recent
[27 March 2019, 00:01:57]

[21 June 2018, 14:28:00]

[31 May 2017, 06:35:55]

[06 May 2017, 05:27:04]

[03 April 2017, 01:15:03]

[26 March 2017, 12:48:25]

[15 March 2017, 02:23:07]

[15 March 2017, 02:20:28]

[15 March 2017, 02:17:52]

[14 March 2017, 20:23:43]

[06 February 2017, 04:53:35]

[31 January 2017, 08:45:52]

[15 December 2016, 15:50:49]

[26 November 2016, 23:16:38]

[27 October 2016, 07:42:01]

[27 September 2016, 18:51:05]

[11 September 2016, 23:17:33]

[11 September 2016, 23:15:27]

[11 September 2016, 22:58:56]

[03 September 2016, 22:22:23]
Members
Total Members: 1019
Latest: lolanixon
Stats
Total Posts: 144586
Total Topics: 11052
Online Today: 46
Online Ever: 700
(23 January 2020, 20:05:39)
Users Online
Users: 0
Guests: 40
Total: 40

Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.21 | SMF © 2005, Simple Machines
TinyPortal v0.9.8 © Bloc
Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!
Theme based on Cerberus with Risen adjustments by Bloc and Krelia
Modified By Artimidor for The Santharian Dream
gfx
gfxgfx gfxgfx