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Val O´Neil
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« on: 10 June 2011, 11:33:24 »

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This is the  Original Overview  that I had to work off of:
Quote
Modelled after the legendary sword given to Kasumar by Korenjah, these are possibly the most feared blades to the Sarvonian population. Slightly curved, slim, and exceedingly sharp, these blades are a match for any ever produced by the forges of Dzulmir, and better than most.


-the MoonBlade-

-OVERVIEW-
The Moonblade is one of the first and few swords forged by the Kasumarii on the island of Guldor, in Cyhalloi. Modelled after a sword of legend, this softly aglow blade is slightly curved, slim, and exceedingly sharp. Legend goes that a man named Kasumar was visited by their god, Korenjah, who bestowed upon him a divine blade forged from a piece of the moon itself. With which, he was sent to wage battle against the vile cyhalloian orcs, who had been pillaging and plundering small settlements of his people. Lightweight and balanced at the tang, this is no doubt a dangerous blade when in capable hands.

-CATEGORIZATION-
Weapons & Armour, Swords, Two-Handed or One-Handed

-DESCRIPTION-
Moonblades are always beautifully crafted swords, forged by the hands of the Kasumarii master smiths of the Citadel of Korenjah, embedded in the western mountainside of Kasumar's Peak along Guldor's most southeasterly coast. It is there that they mine for the metals required to make this sword, and many of their other weapons. And it is only here, in the caves, that they gather the Luneweep stones that give this blade its soft, moonlit glow. Steel for this blade is folded and worked numerous times before final shaping and sharpening is done. It is not until the very end of the forging process that they add in the pulverised glowing stones. In total this weapon is approximately three and a half fores in length, giving it a nice amount of reach for a short blade.

The slim blade, just under seven nailsbreadths wide, is two and a quarter fores long and extends from the hilt in a very shallow, extremely elongated 's' shape. For the purpose of stabbing and thrusting maneuvers, the first five nailsbreadths from the tip-down is doubled bladed. However, only the side of the blade held away from the wielder is sharpened along its complete length. The spine of the sword is two and a half nailsbreadths thick to provide the blade with a bit more sturdiness and a blunt side strong enough to deflect blows with. Once fully crafted the sword is polished to a dull shine, and Korenjah's symbol is etched into the blade just above the hilt of the sword on one side with the family crest or name on the reverse.

To prevent the wielder's hand from slipping up onto the blade, and as a guard for their hand against the enemy's weapon, the hilt is a thick, flat round disk that comes out into dull points on either side of the flat of the blade. The handle is half as long as the sword itself, being about one fore in length, and has the tang running over half of its length. While the grip is made of carved, smoothed and polished wood that is shaped to fit on either side of the tang, it is still usually wrapped in oiled leather that is occasionally dyed. The pommel of the handle is a plain metal ball, useful for cracking an enemy over the head, or as something to hold onto for leverage when impaling a foe.

The sheath for this sword is traditionally soft leather made from Íl’thróg skin, cut from an area that is covered in fur rather than long hair. Usually the leather is left un-dyed or decorated, as the ashy plum of this animal's skin adds for a unique look all on its own. The end of the sheath is tipped with a piece of metal on the outside, shaped to fit the point of the blade snugly and hold it in place. A long leather strap is attached to the sheath, which is to be slung over the shoulder of the wielder's sword-hand, that has a string for securing the handle at the top of the shoulder. Which puts the blade across the back, down at the opposite hip, with the handle peeking our over the shoulder. This provides for a pretty-easy draw once the string has been pulled loose, for such an awkwardly proportioned sword.


-USAGE-
The Moonblade is a traditional Kasumariian weapon that is rightfully prized by its owner and feared by the orcs residing on the Isle of Dorolak, who often would wage skirmishes on small villages. However, due to its work-intensive and lengthy forging process, it is not a practical blade to have crafted for every soldier in the Kar'ii militia. As such, it is an honor reserved for elite troops, noteworthy warriors, Citadel guard captains, and those rich enough to afford it. Though generally wielded by itself, it can be used in conjunction with a small oval shield that follows the length of the user's forearm.


-FIGHTING STYLE-
The biggest disadvantage of a Moonblade is its mostly two-handed, open fighting style that robs the user of the extra protection of a shield. However, when using this sword correctly, the idea is to remain out of the reach of the opponent's weapon while quickly dispatching them with your own. This sword is intended for both slashing and stabbing at vulnerable points of the body and, with enough force behind it, is capable of piercing the leather armours commonly worn by the Kasumarii's orcish neighbors. While not really meant for heavy blocking, the backside of the blade is made thick for deflecting blows. Its elongated grip provides plenty of space for ample leverage without subtracting from its maneuverability, and as a last-ditch effort to block something if necessary. Also, the solid metal ball at the pommel, while not particularly heavy, allows for some close-up melee defense should the need arise.


-ORIGIN/HISTORY-
In tales told by the Kasumarii's scholars, one of their gods came to their hero in a vision and bestowed upon him an otherworldly blade with which he was sent to relieve all fear of their orcish neighbors.

An abridged version of the myth was supplied by an elder NightSon, T'scarru Kamali:

" Long ago, before we had fully come to appreciate the silence of snow and the cover of night, we were horribly scattered and knew little of our resources or of war. Vile orcs held our freedom squashed beneath their thumb, pillaging and raping and burning our homes whenever they saw fit! Terrified and unprepared for such brutal confrontation, our people took to the cracks and crevices of the mountains and tundra, calling themselves 'Hiding'. But such conditions to be held against us would not be tolerated by our gods! One night, a young man whom had been subjected to many hardships throughout his life, was visited by one of the gods.

As he came past a hollowing in the rugged mountain side, a warm voice breathed out at him from the back wall of the shallow cave.  ``Come, Kasumar,``  called the god's deep, airy voice,  ``come and see what I have for you, my son.``

Wary, he went into the cave and found Korenjah, Himself, standing before him in a form that his mind could not completely grasp to look at. As Kasumar described it in his writings:  `To look into his eyes was to see the moon, into his face to see darkness. And to look at his blade was the greatest epiphany; to see the delivery of yourself standing before Qu'prur, bare of all but your deeds in life and your fears of death.`

``Who are you?``  he already knew, but nevertheless, he asked.

``I am the cover of night. The darkness that eats up the light. The shade and the moon that cloaks and guides you. I am Korenjah.``  replied the dark god.

``What do you wish of me?``

Laughter echoed eerily up out of His throat, a thick bubbling, warm sound that felt like being wrapped in the finest furs,  ``Be your people's champion. Stay the vile orc's atrocious deeds.``  With that Korenjah held out his sword to Kasumar, a truly beautiful blade that glowed gently and was forged of a piece of the moon itself.  ``Take thy blade, and with it!, you shall abolish the oppression of your fellow Hiding.``

Presented with no other choice, he took the blade, imbued with the power of the moon and night, and did as his god bade him. With it, he journeyed far to find more and more of his Hiding brethren to join him. With it, he gathered his followers at the foot of our great mountains. With it, he spoke with the gods and prepared for the battles that were to come. With it, he penetrated the orc's stronghold and slew their demon lord, crippling them. With it, he ended the Hiding's fear of the orcish rabble and released our freedom!

And it is after this divine blade that our beautifully aglow, but deadly Moonblade is fashioned. "
« Last Edit: 26 June 2011, 16:36:35 by Artimidor Federkiel » Logged

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Val O´Neil
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« Reply #1 on: 14 June 2011, 08:43:24 »

Ready and waiting for comments, please and thank you! :)

Bobspeed
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Valan Nonesuch
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« Reply #2 on: 17 June 2011, 04:09:33 »

As is, this is great Val. I'd like to suggest shortening the grip though. The fighting style section is looking much better. I think a lot of the trouble you're having is lacking the vocabulary to describe it.

If you don't mind I've included some suggestions for wording here.

This sword is meant for slashing and stabbing at vulnerable points Any favourites here? and, with enough force behind it, is capable of puncturing though softer spots in tough leather armours. You could mention that the pommel is meant to help with this. What you'd do is put on hand on the grip and the other behind it on the pommel to sort of skewer with it. While not really meant for heavy blocking, the backside of the blade is made thick for deflecting blows. Its elongated grip provides plenty of space for ample leverage and maneuverability, and also as a last-ditch effort to block something. The longer the grip is, the less manoeuvrable it tends to be. It's a problem typically with polearms. If you've got a long weapon you need more space to swing. The true strength of any two-handed sword tends to be that you can put more force behind it when swinging, but you need the space to swing the we The solid metal ball at the pommel allows for some close-up, melee defense, I assume you mean by pistol whipping someone with the end of the blade? If you're dead set on the two-handed idea, I'd replace this with a short spike. It'd let you use it to strike with a bit more force and has a better chance of being lethal than the blunt ball end. Remember, the pommel is meant to balance out the rest of the blade. If it's too heavy, you're defeating the purpose but this is an otherwise all around long-range sword.The idea of a "long-range sword" is kind of funny. A sword that shoots swords perhaps? The biggest disadvantage of a Moonblade is its mostly two-handed, open fighting style that robs the user of the extra protection of a shield. But when using this sword correctly, the idea is to remain out of the reach of the opponent's weapon while still being about to hit them with your own.This is quite good, and I'd suggest putting it at the beginning and building from there. However, a stronger individual using this blade as a strictly one-handed weapon isn't unheard of, though tends to be kind of sloppy A little too far on the colloquial side with "kind of sloppy" and can only usually be managed with a smaller shield. I'd remove that bit altogether. The shield would interfere with the rest of the feel you seem to have given the weapon. If you do make it a hand-and-a-half sword, perhaps identify that some use a two-handed moonblade and give that to the Echillanni order.
So as far as the strikes go, what are we aiming for with this weapon Val? Does the weapon prefer a stab like a rapier would, or do you want to try to hack up the other guy with a two handed blow. It seems to me that the emphasis on quick, forceful blows would make the most sense. If the Kar'ii don't wear much armour, you want the fight against an orc who is doubtless stronger than you to be over as quickly as possible and end in your favour. So underhanded tricks? Sneaking up and stabbing people in the back, poisoned weaponry and if at all possible making sure you only need hit the other guy once.
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« Reply #3 on: 19 June 2011, 15:11:11 »

Great sword Val.   :D  I particularly love the shape of the blade and the fact that one side is painted white.  I also like that the sword gets etched on both side with the family crest and the symbol.  Very nice visual.

The reason the balde is called a "moonblade" is a bit vague still.  Perhaps the original blade had some stronger connection to the moon or something.  Perhaps a reaction to moonlight or something.  I don't know.  Seems like it should be called the moonblade for some reason.

Also you may want to throw in a mention of the double sided moonblade.  See the 2 handed sword overview. 

I really don't have much to comment on here.  I don't know much about this tribe and since you are going to fix it up for your masterwork I am sure you will make sure it fits in. 

Great work!
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« Reply #4 on: 19 June 2011, 17:23:00 »

Hi Val - I'm not in weapons, but I read Seeker's comment and looked up that part and had an idea, you can add if you like.

Quote
Once fully crafted the sword is polished to a dull shine, and Korenjah's symbol is etched into the blade just above the hilt of the sword on one side with the family crest or name on the reverse. Usually when used in battle, the back of the blade is painted white just short of the tip, as to help it blend in with the snow.

1. Only yesterday my husband asked me, if I knew the only benefit of  cherry stone flour. Well, it was used to polish a radiator mascot, have forgotten if it was the one on Rolls Royce, Jaguar or any other brand. That made it not shine brightly, but, well, shine in a certain manner.

So I thought, maybe it would add a bit of uniqueness to your blade, if it would be polished with something only available there in Cyllahoi, a rare stone, pulverised, the stone of a special fruit etc.. Nobody in Sarvonia could do this!

2. The white on one side is a cool idea, but when I read it, I had the image of a thick coat of paint, getting loose already, for which paint would stick on metal well, especially if it is cold? Well, that should not necessarily be a problem, but why not make it permanent?

Maybe allow a ceremony, where, when the sword is nearly finished, still hot, it will be brought outside on a day, where the moon is full, half full (awaking or sleeping),  on another, there waiting amboss), a special fluid is painted on it, the sap of the moonflower. This sap is more or less hammered inside the still hot steel - and then, voila, you have a white in white pattern on it, like the Damascene swords.
what about that?

Of course, somebody could to do the moonflower also, a plant only growing in snowy regions.

Or do a variety, where some Hruckchuck grass is added to the sap and the fine lines on your sword are in a faint blue !

Well, just a few ideas, take them or leave them!
« Last Edit: 19 June 2011, 17:25:21 by Ta'lia of the Seven Jewels » Logged

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« Reply #5 on: 26 June 2011, 00:40:16 »

@Seeker::  I am still fleshing out the gods a bit more, as it were. Korenjah is the God of the Night and the Moon(sadly I haven't gotten much further with him beyond that), so there is a connection to the moon for the blade there. But I have also edited it, as you can see in goldenrod in the overview and lore sections, and now have the original blade made of a bit of the moon itself and is also imbued with the power of their dark god. I hope that what I've added is sufficient. :)

@Talia::  That's a spectacular idea. grin Thank you for such an awesome suggestion. I've added in a bit, as you can see in the overview and description sections coloured lovely in lime, about a pulverised rock called the Luneweep stone. A softly glowing stone that is going to be found in the caves of the mountain, Kasumar's Peak, and the other mounts of the mountain range it is in.
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« Reply #6 on: 26 June 2011, 17:31:56 »

Hey, Val O' Neil ! I find your entry something written with care. I enjoyed it. But I'd like to point out a few things if I may--

1. As written the first Moonblade was especially prepared and delivered by the God Korenjah. That it's made from the pieces of moon and other ethereal qualities imply it can't be forged by any blacksmiths of that time unless they are somehow taught by some mystical revelation. So I suggest append the origin/history that way:

Quote
Presented with no other choice, he took the blade, imbued with the power of the moon and night, and did as his god bade him. Bowing down in reverence as he was about to leave the deity, he was again quivered with the deep divine voice, "And remember my child, I am rendering this piece as a tribute to your kind and only the ones capable of withholding my name with utmost revere will ever be able to forge another one of the same type." "And who might that be?", the young Kasumar asked in a pale voice. "The ones who relishes my sanctity and his own artwork, none but the blacksmith Kiron R'ownok and his prentices. From now on you will find Kiron,taught in his dream how to forge a marvel like this and this skill will be passed on to the generations followed as time goes by" the voice answered. "Whatever you wish, gracious lord", he bows again as he replies. And with it, he journeyed far to find....

2.
Quote
Laughter echoed eerily up out of His throat, a thick bubbling, warm sound that felt like being wrapped in the finest furs,  ``Be your people's champion. Stay the vile orc's atrocious deeds.``  With that Korenjah held out his sword to Kasumar, a truly beautiful blade that glowed gently and was forged of a piece of the moon itself.

How would someone know something is forged from the pieces of moon unless he is told by the maker? After all a piece of moon is not like a fiery or watery substance which can be identified merely from its appearence. It might be shiny and glowing but I believe it still must be mentioned by the god himself somewhere that it's created using lunar pieces; specially because you've mentioned this special trait of the weapon several times.

So how about this:
Quote
Laughter echoed eerily up out of His throat, a thick bubbling, warm sound that felt like being wrapped in the finest furs,  ``Be your people's champion. Stay the vile orc's atrocious deeds.``  With that Korenjah held out his sword to Kasumar, a truly beautiful blade that glowed gently and was forged of a piece of the moon itself.  ``Take thy blade, the blade made from your guide in the darkness - the moon and with this blade you shall sweep off the darkness besieging your tribe and only with it shall you abolish the oppression of your fellow Hiding, (no comma)to make your race once again graced with the blessings of the moon``

3. The young man, who was summoned by the god himself and given the responsibility as big as rescuing his race(which he successfully performs) doesn't have his name mentioned anywhere. Only 'young hard-working man' doesn't sffice- I think. (or I've missed the name?? huh)

4. As you said the sword is of the genre shortblade/shortsword(2 and a quarter fores long=30 inches app.) and slim and have an elongated 's' like shape(similar to Sabre. right?). I find these qualities highly suggestive to a one-handed sword with a shield. As you probably know two handed ones are in geneal heavier and straight-bodied with an emphasis on piercing. But hey it's just what I think merely :).

5. The length of the hilt is half of the length of the entire sword. Now that makes little sense. Because informally speaking physics says: the more the pivot(here the position of hilt where you grip it) is towards the target, the less amount of thrust will be felt by the target for a certain applied force. (You've read about 'torque' somewhere?! :D)
Now hey I know that we are discussing medieval stuffs here made by the blacksmiths of that age, not scientists or physicists. But these principes were there from ancient age actually and mainly gained from experience rather than theory and they were used practically while devising things in ancient times.( for example you can see longsword, small sword, sabre in wikipedia if interested to get a overview how things really were in middle age :))
What about making the hilt slightly smaller than a fore( about 10/11 inches)? (It still can be used two-handed with this length of the hilt, if u want to keep it two-handed)
That makes the hilt one-third of the total length which is quite relevant with the weapons of medieval age.

6. When was the battle against cyahllian orcs fought actually? Shouldn't it be mentioned? Maybe somtimes in between (300-250 b.S) after the death of Kasumaii heroine Lyla Aerosire?? That makes sense actually that god Kerojah didn't forget the death of the goddess Lyla in her battle against the minions and thus was inclined to help out the Kasumariis so that anything similar doesn't happen.

7. That one is a grammatical one. 'hollowing'- I am afraid I haven't found the word in two dictionaries I searched. Rather 'hollow' can be used as a noun too in the sense you have used 'hollowing'.

P.S. The blacksmith I named Kiron R'ownok doesn't exist in the compendium till now. But it's kinda odd that the Kasumriis, being such an adept race in combat and warfare, doesn't have any legendary blacksmith of their own( or there is actually which I missed???). Hopefully things will change around the Kasumariis as you have expressed somewhere your wish to work on them(in your masterwork probably?)

That's it. I wish I didn't bore you with too much detail. :)
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Athviaro Shyu-eck-Silfayr
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« Reply #7 on: 26 June 2011, 20:16:33 »

Oni, I believe that Arti has already prepared the Moonblade for upload to the site: my computer says he marked it as uploaded at 8:36, and you posted at 9:31.
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« Reply #8 on: 26 June 2011, 21:20:20 »

Thanks Athviaro for the info. I didn't notice that. Hopefully Val still will have a glimpse at it if she finds it interesting :)
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