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Rayne (Alýr)
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« on: 05 October 2011, 23:30:42 »

I'm still uncertain of part of this entry--including other names for this little arachnid--but I'm opening it up for comment!

I seek to be just such a writer
To make a reader love a spider.


Shenora Spider

Overview:
The Shenora Spider (also called Shen'rásh in Styrásh, meaning "new spider," though the origin of this name is unknown) is a petite little spider living throughout most of Sarvonia. While male and female Shenora Spider doubtless exist, the creature is most often referred to and thought of as female, due in part to its muliebrity and in part to the myth associated with it. For this reason, this entry will refer to the spider as a female.


Appearance:
The Shenora Spider is a dainty little creature, only a few grains from the tips of her elegant front legs to the end of her callipygous rear. Her legs, which number eight, are long and slender. Once they leave her flat, oval-shaped torso, they spread out around her, each bent by three joints so slightly and so subtly as to give the illusion each was shaped naturally into a curve. Such an illusion, though, may be quickly broken: to scare her is to witness her legs pull up around her in fright; at once her leisurely recline may be turned to defenceless terror.

Her small yet shapely body is split into two segments: the flat, oval torso and her round abdomen. Budding from her torso, along with her willowy arms, are small protrusions just below her eyes that help her spin her web and bundle her food. Her eyes are tiny, black, and eight in number, and tend to stare with innocence and bewilderment at her surroundings. Upon her abdomen are the clearest marks which make the Shenora Spider distinctive: little blue-black spots trailing up to her torso, and also colouring the joints of her delicate little legs, standing out against a sandy background.

Until mating season arises and courting begins, male and female spiders are nearly impossible to tell apart, so closely do they resemble one another. The careful observer, however, may notice that the males are just slightly smaller than the females.


Special Abilities:
The Shenora Spider is no creature of outstanding strength or speed or agility; she is unmagical herself, though some believe that her webs bring good luck. When the wind is chilled with the promise of winter, she may seek out warmth in the house of a nearby neighbour—perhaps a human or elf—and reside there for a time. While mere suspicion at best, many claim that they rest easier at night whilst she lives in the house, reasoning that her webs catch dark and frightening dreams. This superstition is widely believed--most notably in rural households where these spiders are likely to wander, particularly by housewives and, it is rumoured, witches.


Location:
The Shenora Spider can be found throughout Santharia, and even in many parts of Northern Sarvonia. However, she seems to love the calm babbling of brooks and peaceful shining lakes where little insects may hover around the shallow waters to breed or feast. Alongside the Vandrina River, Nekoma Creek, or Ishmarin Lake, she may be found busying herself at her loom of reeds, or twigs, or branches.

Though she may prefer the singing streams and peaceful ponds of Sarvonia, she may, too, be found within the forests and the plains. Sometimes, when winter sows a chill into the land, she will find her way into the homes of her human, elven, or hobbit neighbours (or gnomish, orcish, and browniin neighbours, for that matter!). However, if she should find shelter here, she will most certainly depart once spring arrives, if not before.


Habitat/Behavior:
The Shenora Spider is quite fond of lakes and rivers, and while unwilling to dip into the waters herself, seems content to build her webs nearby. Her web is a lovely and fascinating structure, created with a number of supporting threads, which form the foundation of her design. From the centre, or near-centre, what appears like a single thread spirals outwards until it reaches the edges of the supporting threads. The whole structure, less than two palmspans in diameter (and usually hardly one), shimmers stunningly in the dew of the early morning, the glittering creation of her skillful engineering.

These webs may be found anywhere the Shenora Spider may call home, and while she is often found around the water—perhaps enjoying the lapping of waves on the lake shore or the gurgling music of a passing stream—she can be found in plains and valleys amidst the grasses, and in the branches of forest trees.

She is quite a timid creature—and would not you be, as well, if you were so small and fragile? A tasty morsel for birds and rodents, she is shy and fearful. Watching her at work, it would seem that she wishes nothing more or less than to weave her web, and then rest quietly out of sight, hidden against a twig behind the beauty of her work. If she should be building when a wind or passerby shakes the yealm reeds or alth'ho grasses or birch tree in which she resides, she quickly flees to cover and waits until she is certain the danger has passed.


Diet:
The Shenora Spider is not a picky eater; she is grateful to the gods for whatever might happen to tumble into her web. Often these are buzzing flies or gnats, but may also be small moths or butterflies—however, they must be very, very small to find themselves trapped in the diminutive weaving of the Shenora Spider. Most of the creatures caught in her web are those winged nuisances that buzz about the eyes and ears.

The Shenora Spider lies patiently near one supporting thread of her structure, perhaps enjoying the air, the glitter of sun on the water, the calming sound of it lapping or rushing or babbling—maybe watching the deer quench their thirst, the fish swim about, the clouds rolling by. She may seem quite at leisure, but as soon as a creature flies into her web—perhaps a buzzing gnat—she springs to action, as though thinking it quite indecent to have a creature tangling her web and disrupting the calm of an otherwise pleasant afternoon. She hurries to wrap it up in threads using the small protrusions on the front of her torso, below her eyes. In this way, she ceases its shuddering. She then dines, rather quickly, as though ashamed to waste the day with such trifling matters.

She then repairs the web as best she can and returns to her hiding place to again watch the deer and the fish and the clouds meandering by.


Mating:
When spring melts winter’s ice and returns warmth to the lands, and the frigid clouds give way to sun, many creatures seem apt to fall in love, and the Shenora Spider is certainly no exception. She may take many mates during the warmer seasons, when the fire of the sun burns desire into her heart. She lies in wait for a lover to entreat her and win her heart.

Of course, the Shenora Spider maid is not so easily won. She awaits a gentle and humble mate, who seeks her out and who, upon finding her, will perform a dance to show his earnest adulation. This often involves, first, tugging at the threads of her web to get her attention, and then stepping out upon it, a dancer upon the stage. He will then perform for her, moving from side to side in a semi-circle around where she watches in coy silence, occasionally raising his legs dramatically as though astounded and overwhelmed by emotion.

When his dance concludes, he waits upon the web and, if she remains unimpressed, she will stay where she is, ignoring him until, dejectedly, he wanders off to find another who might love him. However, if her heart is won by his musical gesture, she will meet him. The mating processes itself remains a mystery, but must be somewhat quick, for after a few intimate touches, it is complete, and the bashful maid bids her lover farewell.

Within a few days, the Shenora Spider will build a nest for her young, filled with dozens of little eggs. She will care for the bundle, keeping it safely stored against a twig or reed or branch, out of the elements that may harm it. In a few weeks, the eggs hatch, and dozens of tiny little young burst forth joyously into the world. Their mother watches proudly as they throw their threads to the wind and go where ever Grothar’s breezes blow. It is hard to guess how long until these little ones are able to produce little spiderlings of their own, but many estimate they mature within a couple months.

So, too, is it hard to know how long these young may live, though many suppose that, within a year or two, they pass into the unknown.


Myth/Lore:
According to an old, Caltharian story, the Shenora Spider was, long ago, a young woman named Shenora. It is said that her hair was of a sandy hue and her lovely skin was soft and immaculate. She grew up by a village near the Cylian River, and loved to gather flowers by its sloping banks, and listen to the wind play through the grasses, and gaze upon the open sky; but more than these, she loved to weave, and could spend many hours weaving together colourful threads on her loom.

She was deferential and shy, but drew the eye of a sturdy young man who wooed and wed her. She was young, and thought herself quite in love, but in this matter she had been led astray. Her husband, so kind at first, turned cruel, and would often beat her when he was angry. She blamed herself, and comforted herself at her loom, trying to weave away her sorrows.

They had been together for but a little time when she became pregnant, her belly growing round, and her husband, elated that his wife was to bear him a child, ceased his cruel treatment of her. Shenora was overjoyed, for at last, it seemed, she would find happiness.

However, this joy did not last. Angered and, rumour has it, taken by drink, her husband beat her severely. She cried and wept, but he did not stop, and he beat her till she lost the child. In tears and fear, overcome by tragedy and loss, she rushed from the house, but her cruel, enraged husband raced after her. She ran, ran as quickly as her legs would carry her, down to the river, and there knelt and prayed for the gods to save her.

That night, the gods were listening. They transformed her into a spider, and her husband could not find her when he came to where she had been. Now, she finds peace in weaving her webs, though the bruises of her former life still mar her tender little body as blue-black botches on her abdomen.

This story has produced a children’s rhyme—which conveniently hides much of the tragedy:

Shenora Spider, Shenora Spider,
Oh tell me, Gods, where did you hide her?
--By lake and stream
--In wind and dream
--Where no cruel heart may find her.
« Last Edit: 05 November 2011, 23:28:04 by Artimidor Federkiel » Logged

"There is much misjudgment in the world. Now, I knew you for a unicorn when I first saw you, and I know that I am your friend. Yet you take me for a clown, or a clod, or a betrayer, and so I must be if you see me so. The magic on you is only magic and will vanish as soon as you are free, but the enchantment of error that you put on me I must wear forever in your eyes. We are not always what we seem..." -Schmendrick the Magician, The Last Unicorn
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« Reply #1 on: 06 October 2011, 01:13:42 »

You did a lovely job of painting the wee beasties with your words.  You really made me see them!  The myth was very creative, and I loved the poem at the end.
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« Reply #2 on: 07 October 2011, 11:05:27 »

Lovely indeed!   Beautifully envisioned and written, with playfulness and seriousness intertwined as deftly as Shenora's webstrands.   You may have to ditch 'zaftig', expressive as it is, but I'm not going to quibble with 'callipygous' (though shouldn't there be another syllable in there?)   Also, a few more cross-references (WHICH butterflies, what vegetation, a colour or two...) would not go amiss to settle the spider in her environment. 

What I particularly like here - this is an excellent demonstration of the concept that not every entry has to be 15 Corens long in order to be complete, self-sufficient, and daintily detailed.    The Shenora Spider should - do we ever actually integrate our oft-mulled suggestion of setting up example entries - become the standard for 'short but perfect bestiary entry' and certainly deserves a nomination at the end of the year.      A miniature marvel!
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« Reply #3 on: 07 October 2011, 11:51:35 »

Thank you, Judith! Yes, I am an avid proponent of short, sweet, well-written entries. I am glad you approve. It delights me that you enjoyed the entry; I seek for the same elegant voice and lucid prose so effortlessly executed in your own writing, and your compliments mean a great deal to me.

I have replaced zaftig with shapely. I thought that might have been a stretch. When I look up callipygous in the dictionary, it redirects to callipygian--but in every context I've ever seen it, it has always been callipygous, and I'm tempted to trust experience over the reference. I have added a few cross-references, but I'm hesitant to add one for butterflies (thought the Flitter-Twitch seems a good match), since flies and gnats figure so prominently in the diet. What is your thought?

I've also changed the icon from WIP to Ready for Comments! I'm getting so many good ones already.
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"There is much misjudgment in the world. Now, I knew you for a unicorn when I first saw you, and I know that I am your friend. Yet you take me for a clown, or a clod, or a betrayer, and so I must be if you see me so. The magic on you is only magic and will vanish as soon as you are free, but the enchantment of error that you put on me I must wear forever in your eyes. We are not always what we seem..." -Schmendrick the Magician, The Last Unicorn
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« Reply #4 on: 14 October 2011, 23:14:37 »

Can we get this one into the update, Rayne?
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Rayne (Alýr)
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« Reply #5 on: 15 October 2011, 06:58:12 »

If you like, Artimidor, though I have not received very many comments on it. undecided
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"There is much misjudgment in the world. Now, I knew you for a unicorn when I first saw you, and I know that I am your friend. Yet you take me for a clown, or a clod, or a betrayer, and so I must be if you see me so. The magic on you is only magic and will vanish as soon as you are free, but the enchantment of error that you put on me I must wear forever in your eyes. We are not always what we seem..." -Schmendrick the Magician, The Last Unicorn
Shabakuk Zeborius Anfang
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« Reply #6 on: 15 October 2011, 08:02:18 »

You have received far fewer comments than this lovely entry with its delicate descriptions and imaginative depth deserves! I’m sure it’s a reflection of the general slowness of the Development Board, rather than anything to do with this specific thread. Anyway, since like others I have not been able to spend much time on Santharia recently, I thought I could make up it for today, allowing my Friday night to be sweetened by images of a spider listening to gurgling water and regarding deer out of eight baffled eyes. That way, doing my bit for the current update effort becomes a distinct pleasure!

Spelling corrections (most of which turn American into British spelling) in yellow, suggestions in limegreen.


Overview:
The Shenora Spider (also called Shen'ráth (Arti has made the Styrash word “rásh” for spider recently – so maybe say “Shen’rásh”? Or is this an intended variation?) in Styrásh, meaning "new spider," though the meaning of this is unknown) (you have just said what it means, actually – maybe formulate: “… though the origin of this name is unknown”?)  is a petite little spider living throughout most of Sarvonia. While the Shenora Spider naturally comes in both male and female varieties, it is (‘male’ and ‘female’ are not really ‘variaties’ … How about: While both male and female Shenora Spiders exist, the species is most often referred to and thought of as female …”) most often referred to and thought of as female, due in part to its muliebrity and in part to the myth associated with it. For this reason, this entry will refer to the spider as a female.


Appearance:
The Shenora Spider is a dainty little creature, only a few grains from the tips of her elegant front legs to the end of her callipygous rear. Her legs, which number eight, are long and slender. Once they leave her flat, oval-shaped torso, they spread out around her, each bent by three joints so slightly and so subtly as to give the illusion each was shaped naturally into a curve. Such an illusion, though, may be quickly broken: to scare her is to witness her legs pull up around her in fright; at once her leisurely recline may be turned to defenceless terror. (What colour is the spider? You later describe the colours of eyes and spots, but not the main colour(s) …)

Her small yet shapely body is split into two segments: the flat, oval torso and her round, shapely (repetition of ‘shapely’ – maybe just leave it out here?) abdomen. Budding from her torso, along with her willowy arms, are small protrusions just below her eyes that help her spin her web and bundle her food. Her eyes are tiny, black, and eight in number, and tend to stare with innocence and bewilderment at her surroundings. Upon her abdomen are the clearest marks which make the Shenora Spider distinctive: little blue-black spots trailing up to her torso, and also colouring the joints of her delicate little legs, standing out against a sandy background.

While there are most certainly male Shenora Spiders, (You’ve said this before; how about: “Until the mating season comes and courting begins, males and females are nearly impossible to tell apart, so closely do they …”) until mating season arises and courting begins, the two are nearly impossible to tell apart, so closely do they resemble one another. The careful observer, however, may notice that the males are just slightly smaller than the females.


Special Abilities:
The Shenora Spider is no creature of outstanding strength or speed or agility; she is unmagical herself, though some believe that her webs bring good luck. When the wind is chilled with the promise of winter, she may seek out warmth in the house of a nearby neighbour—perhaps a human or elf—and reside there for a time. While mere suspicion at best, many claim that they rest easier at night whilst she lives in the house, reasoning that her webs catch dark and frightening dreams. (Nice! If you want, you could add that witches decidedly agree with this belief. Spiders in general are sacred to witches (as I shall write in the forthcoming People entry on witches, and it might well be that Shenora spiders play a special role for them – if you would like them to, that is.)

 
Location:
The Shenora Spider can be found throughout Santharia, and even in many parts of Northern Sarvonia. However, she seems to love the calm babbling of brooks and peaceful shining lakes where little insects may hover around the shallow waters to breed or feast. Alongside the Vandrina River, Nekoma Creek, or Ishmarin Lake, she may be found busying herself at her loom of reeds, or twigs, or branches.

Though she may prefer the singing streams and peaceful ponds of Sarvonia, she may, too, be found within the forests and the plains. Sometimes, when winter sows a chill into the land, she will find her way into the homes of her human, elven, or hobbit neighbours (or gnomish, orcish, and browniin neighbours, for that matter!). However, if she should find shelter here, she will most certainly depart once spring arrives, if not before.


Habitat/Behavior:
The Shenora Spider is quite fond of lakes and rivers, and while unwilling to dip into the waters herself, seems content to build her webs nearby. Her web is a lovely and fascinating structure, created with a number of supporting threads, which form the foundation of her design. From the centre, or near-centre, what appears like a single thread spirals outwards until it reaches the edges of the supporting threads. The whole structure, less than two palmspans in diameter (and usually hardly one), shimmers stunningly in the dew of the early morning, the glittering creation of her skillful engineering.

These webs may be found anywhere the Shenora Spider may call home, and while she is often found around the water—perhaps enjoying the lapping of waves on the lake shore or the gurgling music of a passing stream—she can be found in plains and valleys amidst the grasses, and in the branches of forest trees.

She is quite a timid creature—and would not you be, as well, if you were so small and fragile? A tasty morsel for birds and rodents, she is shy and fearful. Watching her at work, it would seem that she wishes nothing more or less than to weave her web, and then rest quietly out of sight, hidden against a twig behind the beauty of her work. If she should be building when a wind or passerby shakes the yealm reeds or alth'ho grasses or birch tree in which she resides, she quickly flees to cover and waits until she is certain the danger has passed.


Diet:
The Shenora Spider is not a picky eater; she is grateful to the gods for whatever might happen to tumble into her web. Often these are buzzing flies or gnats, but may also be small moths or butterflies—however, they must be very, very small to find themselves trapped in the diminutive weaving of the Shenora Spider. Most of the creatures caught in her web are flies, gnats, and other winged nuisances that buzz about the eyes and ears. (You mention the flies and gnats twice in the same paragraph. Maybe simply delete the last sentence – although it would be nice to save the ‘winged nuisances’, by allowing them to buzz over into the second sentence, maybe?)

The Shenora Spider lies patiently near one supporting thread of her structure, perhaps enjoying the air, the glitter of sun on the water, the calming sound of it lapping or rushing or babbling—maybe watching the deer quench their thirst, the fish swim about, the clouds rolling by. She may seem quite at leisure, but as soon as a creature flies into her web—perhaps a buzzing gnat—she springs to action, as though thinking it quite indecent to have a creature tangling her web and disrupting the calm of an otherwise pleasant afternoon. She hurries to wrap it up in threads using the small protrusions on the front of her torso, below her eyes. In this way, she ceases its shuddering. She then dines, rather quickly, as though ashamed to waste the day with such trifling matters.

She then repairs the web as best she can and returns to her hiding place to again watch the deer and the fish and the clouds meandering by.


Mating:
When spring melts winter’s ice and returns warmth to the lands, and the frigid clouds give way to sun, many creatures seem apt to fall in love, and the Shenora Spider is certainly no exception. She may take many mates during the warmer seasons, when the fire of the sun burns desire into her heart. She lies in wait for a lover to entreat her and win her heart.

Of course, the Shenora Spider maid is not so easily won. She awaits a gentle and humble mate, who seeks her out and who, upon finding her, will perform a dance to show his earnest adulation. This often involves, first, tugging at the threads of her web to get her attention, and then stepping out upon it, a dancer upon the stage. He will then perform for her, moving from side to side in a semi-circle around where she watches in coy silence, occasionally raising his legs dramatically as though astounded and overwhelmed by emotion.

When his dance concludes, he waits upon the web and, if she remains unimpressed, she will stay where she is, ignoring him until, dejectedly, he wanders off to find another who might love him. However, if her heart is won by his musical gesture, she will meet him. The mating processes itself remains a mystery, but must be somewhat quick, for after a few intimate touches, it is complete, and the bashful maid bids her lover farewell. (Quite lovely, all that!)

Within a few days, the Shenora Spider will build a nest for her young, filled with dozens of little eggs. She will care for the bundle, keeping it safely stored against a twig or reed or branch, out of the elements that may harm it. In a few weeks, the eggs hatch, and dozens of tiny little young burst forth joyously into the world. Their mother watches proudly as they throw their threads to the wind and go where ever Grothar’s breezes blow. It is hard to guess how long until these little ones are able to produce little spiderlings of their own, but many estimate they mature within a couple months.

So, too, is it hard to know how long these young may live, though many suppose that, within a year or two, they pass into the unknown.


Myth/Lore:
According to an old, Caltharian story, the Shenora Spider was, long ago, a young woman named Shenora. It is said that her hair was of a sandy hue and her lovely skin was soft and immaculate. She grew up by a village near the Cylian River, and loved to gather flowers by the flowing river (to avoid repetition of river, maybe say: “… near the Cylian River, by whose shores she loved to gather flowers, to listen to the wind …”), and listen to the wind play through the grasses, and gaze upon the open sky; but more than these, she loved to weave, and could spend many hours weaving together colourful threads on her loom.

She was deferential and shy, but drew the eye of a sturdy young man who wooed and wed her. She was young, and thought herself quite in love, but in this matter she had been led astray. Her husband, so kind at first, turned cruel, and would often beat her when he was angry. She blamed herself, and comforted herself at her loom, trying to weave away her sorrows.

They had been together for but a little time when she became pregnant, her belly growing round, and her husband, elated that his wife was to bear him a child, ceased his cruel treatment of her. Shenora was overjoyed, for at last, it seemed, she would find happiness.

However, this joy did not last. Angered and, rumour has it, taken by drink, her husband beat her severely. She cried and wept, but he did not stop, and he beat her till she lost the child. In tears and fear, overcome by tragedy and loss, she rushed from the house, but her cruel, enraged husband raced after her. She ran, ran as quickly as her legs would carry her, down to the river, and there knelt and prayed for the gods to save her.

That night, the gods were listening. They transformed her into a spider, and her husband could not find her when he came to where she had been. Now, she finds peace in weaving her webs, though the bruises of her former life still mar her tender little body as blue-black botches on her abdomen.

This story has produced a children’s rhyme—which conveniently hides much of the tragedy:

Shenora Spider, Shenora Spider,
Oh tell me, Gods, where did you hide her?
--By lake and stream
--In wind and dream
--Where no cruel heart may find her.

Splendid myth and rhyme! I am always delighted when an entry illuminates how Santharian culture deals with the ordinary misery and everyday horror of human life (such as violence in the family, in this case). Fantasy writing is awash with grand stories about demonic villains, Armageddon-averting heroes, shadows about to swallow the whole of the world – but it’s the stories about the day-to-day struggles and worries of ordinary people that make Santharia truly come alive for me. So a big ‘well done’ from me!
« Last Edit: 15 October 2011, 09:34:42 by Shabakuk Zeborius Anfang » Logged

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« Reply #7 on: 15 October 2011, 22:35:52 »

Thank you for the thorough comments, Shabakuk! Unfortunately, I don't think I will be able to integrate them in time for this update.  undecided I am currently sitting in Laguardia New York Airport at gate A4 under a potted tree that looks like it recently decorated the crypt keeper's study, furtively typing this message on my smartphone.  buck

I will do what I can, but I'll be hitting the ground running once I arrive. However, if not this update, perhaps the next.

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"There is much misjudgment in the world. Now, I knew you for a unicorn when I first saw you, and I know that I am your friend. Yet you take me for a clown, or a clod, or a betrayer, and so I must be if you see me so. The magic on you is only magic and will vanish as soon as you are free, but the enchantment of error that you put on me I must wear forever in your eyes. We are not always what we seem..." -Schmendrick the Magician, The Last Unicorn
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« Reply #8 on: 19 October 2011, 05:07:57 »

What a well written and thoroughly envisioned creation this is. I am certainly not qualified to critique your work here, but I do have to applaud the masterful way in which you write and use descriptive words. Well done!
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« Reply #9 on: 19 October 2011, 13:03:04 »

Rayne, just wanted you to know that I loved reading this entry.  Whenever someone creates something small it somewhat a breadth of fresh air.   Honestly I don't have any critique but I think it is worth letting you know it was enjoyed.  thumbup

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« Reply #10 on: 19 October 2011, 14:55:33 »

Rayne, that little spider surprised me! You just created a new way to do bestiary entries - though maybe this should go more under literature, they way you give the spider emotions and human traits. Lovely written!

... the second shapely in the description is one too much, you used it a few words before already.

:)
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« Reply #11 on: 20 October 2011, 02:38:28 »

I am sitting on the floor near the desk of gate C16 in Dallas, on my way to the quaint city of Boston, but wanted to flutter in to respond to all the lovely things written!

Thank you Jacob, Kothar, Seeker, and Talia, for your kind words! I have been reimagining and reassessing my style and goals, and seek to write with more heart, to describe, not scientifically, but lovingly. I am delighted that this attempt was met with such good will! Your compliments are very encouraging--Thank You!

My plane is boarding; I shall, in a few days time, return home, and hope then to integrate the comments Shabakuk has so sweetly offered. Until then..!


EDIT: Home again, and quite exhausted. My friend has flown into town, and she always gives me a run for my money.  buck However, I managed to integrate Shabakuk's comments! A few notes:

1) The main color of the spider is there, but perhaps well hidden: "little blue-black spots trailing up to her torso, and also colouring the joints of her delicate little legs, standing out against a sandy background." I wanted to keep everything subtle, but perhaps I have gone too far?  undecided

2) I would love for you to use these spiders!--be it in your witches entry or any other entry you wish to construct. If there is any change I can integrate to make this more easy for you, please let me know!

3) Thank you again for going through the entry, and for communicating corrections so sweetly and gently. Try as I might, I'm a sensitive soul (I could not be the writer I am without being so), and it always make things easier when compassion has a place in a critique. Thank you, Shabakuk, for your comments and compassion.  :)
« Last Edit: 23 October 2011, 11:34:42 by Rayne (Alýr) » Logged

"There is much misjudgment in the world. Now, I knew you for a unicorn when I first saw you, and I know that I am your friend. Yet you take me for a clown, or a clod, or a betrayer, and so I must be if you see me so. The magic on you is only magic and will vanish as soon as you are free, but the enchantment of error that you put on me I must wear forever in your eyes. We are not always what we seem..." -Schmendrick the Magician, The Last Unicorn
Shabakuk Zeborius Anfang
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« Reply #12 on: 04 November 2011, 05:54:46 »

Arti, as you seem to be looking for entries to integrate this update weekend - I'd say here is a very eligible candidate!

Rayne, I only discovered today that you had edited your post from 19/10. I guess it's easy to miss such a thing unless the author posts anew ...   :)  Anyway, I like all your changes. Thanks especially for putting in the reference to witches; that'll be a nice detail for me to pick up and play with when I find the time to work on them witches again.

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« Reply #13 on: 04 November 2011, 05:59:45 »

Ok then, will do! :) Thanks for spotting it, Shabakuk!  thumbup
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