The VerKnerThaerar

seth ghibta

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Re: The VerKnerThaerar

« Reply #30 on: 12 January 2012, 05:23:27 »

thankyou Arti! that means an awful lot coming from you. thanks for spotting those points, I'd tend to agree. I think I used Verknerthaerar because that was what I started off calling them, but it'd be an awful lot easier on my spelling if I swapped it, so I've no problem with that.

@Dek- thankyou, though like I said, there's no rush!


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seth ghibta

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Re: The VerKnerThaerar

« Reply #31 on: 14 January 2012, 06:09:57 »

aaand edits made as suggested by Art and Shaba in blue.


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Shabakuk Zeborius Anfang

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Re: The VerKnerThaerar

« Reply #32 on: 14 January 2012, 07:52:24 »

Witty, surprising, thorough, and nose-mocking, this is a gem that I would have raked a lot of muck to find, if I'd needed to, which fortunately I didn't. I can see the Piss-takers and the Dross-dibblers prowling the streets, shaking their heads on occasion of the dirty dispositions of their fellows, mucky and smelly from head to toe, but proud to be the cleanest thing in town. Wonderful! The Santharian city streets are suddenly richer, more alive, populated with Sethish originality - and, last but not least, they're cleaner now!

At times, I thought the entry might be a gentle parody of a flatmate obsessed with cleanliness - but this association might say more about me than about your flatmates.

Just a few details:

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On the other hand, the guild of Nymerysys is reclusive and taciturn,

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In Nymerysys, on the other hand, the guild leader is a mysterious figure known locally as the Muck Queen,

It's "Nyermersys". You're missing out the first "e", and have an extra "y".

By the way, I've wondered for a while how one actually pronounces Nyermersys. I'm at a loss there, myself.

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Dross-dibblers: collection and processing of industrial waste, especially dross from metalwork and mining. Those who work in this order have to be especially careful to keep up their protective equipment. They are in charge of dealing with the waste products of metal work, ore refineries and all sorts of other industries. They are mostly female, requiring a detailed knowledge of alchemy to safely dispose of the chymicals produced.Dross-dibblers often have close relations with communities of Daran gnomish alchemists among the human cities, as they can provide many useful reagents in return for knowledge of chymical cleaning receipts.

... space missing before last sentence...

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For example, the Nerthers in New-Santhala are known to the public as Unearthers, and are rumoured to be involved in all manner of intrigues, with connections to the thieves underground and several spy rings.

.. capitalise: Thieves Underground (proper name) ...


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Artimidor Federkiel

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Re: The VerKnerThaerar

« Reply #33 on: 15 January 2012, 17:42:50 »

As for "Nyermersys": It's actually a Styrásh name, which means "Town of Two Battles" (battle/two) and needs to be pronounced as defined in the Styrásh Pronunciation Guide.

Min wrote concerning the "y": "A sound that does not occur in Tharian. Pronounced similar to i, but with lips rounded like when pronouncing u or o." Don't know if that makes it any clearer, but probably he got it from me somewhere. It's actually the sound of the German "ü", so written in German it would be "Nüermersüs", which should make things a bit clearer for Shab at least...

@Seth: I'll see to fix the small things Shabakuk mentioned in the entry myself, as I'm going to prepare this one already this weekend to have it ready for the next update with pic and everything, okeydokey?


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Deklitch Hardin

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Re: The VerKnerThaerar

« Reply #34 on: 15 January 2012, 17:58:42 »

Seth, no problem from me with regards to the questions you asked me via PM. Sorry it took so long to respond.


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Shabakuk Zeborius Anfang

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Re: The VerKnerThaerar

« Reply #35 on: 15 January 2012, 20:23:17 »

I see that this has Arti's green tick, so there is no need for me to blarrow, but an opportunity to give a congratulatory aura point.

~~Arti, please note that the minor mistakes I pointed out in my last post are still in the text.~~ (EDIT by my woken-up brain: "Arti said he's spotted that, old Shabakuk.")

PS: And thanks for illuminating me on Styrash pronunciation! So the stress would be on the final syllable?


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seth ghibta

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Re: The VerKnerThaerar

« Reply #36 on: 16 January 2012, 04:10:13 »

Ack! sorry, I should have checked this earlier. If you haven't already got started on this Arti, Dek's OKed some changes I wanted to make. If you've already got it prepared don't worry, could I maybe write a paragraph or so to be tacked on later?
Thanks guys for your comments, they've all been really helpful, as ever.


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Artimidor Federkiel

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Re: The VerKnerThaerar

« Reply #37 on: 16 January 2012, 04:22:10 »

I've already prepared it, but if you mark changes in another colour you can still add/change something, no problem, Seth! thumbup


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seth ghibta

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Re: The VerKnerThaerar

« Reply #38 on: 16 January 2012, 04:27:32 »

I will get to work on that now, thanks Arti!


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seth ghibta

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Re: The VerKnerThaerar

« Reply #39 on: 16 January 2012, 04:46:01 »

and there we go. three short passages added into the body of text, in yellow.


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Shabakuk Zeborius Anfang

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Re: The VerKnerThaerar

« Reply #40 on: 16 January 2012, 06:44:08 »

Haha, I love the yellow additions! That would make for a splendid RPG story: "Dirty Secrets: The Garbage War Diaries".


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Deklitch Hardin

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Re: The VerKnerThaerar

« Reply #41 on: 18 January 2012, 09:27:22 »

Great work, Seth! +1 Aura from me ... the sun effected me badly before ... I got to thinking of the VerKnewThaerar and came up with a couple of songs about them and the stuff the collect ... I'll type them up and post them. ps. Be afraid ... be very afraid.


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Artimidor Federkiel

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Re: The VerKnerThaerar

« Reply #42 on: 19 January 2012, 04:41:16 »

Yep, many thanks for the additions, Seth - will all be included in the next update! thumbup


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seth ghibta

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Re: The VerKnerThaerar

« Reply #43 on: 19 January 2012, 04:44:40 »

I've kind of been tempted to write something more specific concerning this war, Shaba, or at least the Muck Queen. No concrete ideas yet though.
oh brilliant, Dek songs about this should be great! And thank you Arti! Aura to thank you for putting up with my awkwardness.


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The VerKnerThaerar