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Author Topic: Burton Sable introduction / Santharian Underworld discussion  (Read 15833 times)
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Burton Sable
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« on: 23 December 2014, 20:01:19 »

Hello people.
I'm Darien.
This is my alt for the development.
I had some problems creating a account.
I found this old account.
I've got some ideas for the Santharian "Underworld"
about criminals and stuff…..
Would you guys like it if i submitted some entries?
I think the Underworld is a nice new avenue to explore.
I'd centre it around Voldar or one of the other santharian metropolises.
In truth i allready got some stuff written.
It all started as part of my CD.
I needed to create a SETTING for my Darien character.
Now i've created this dark world of drug dealers, rogue mages, prostitution all with a santharian touch.
I've greatly improved my story-telling abilities.
I've never really quitted writing.
Instead i've been focussing on applying varying story-techniques.
Story structuring, plotting, using plot devices and adding layers of character depth.
I'm pretty passionate about writing some of these entries.
So far my idea are to create:

-A dungeon (with cool backstory)
-A group of 1 or more Sub-cultures existing inside one or more metropolises (organized crime and how it involves and evolves itself): outlaws/ rogues
- A drugs along with roots, origin  and historical impact.
-I've written a contrast of thresholds to darkness (which i use for dynamic characters) [but it could also be as policy for rogue and dark magic in the academy of ximax.

These things and more i've got for my CD to use as subtext.
I could contribute it to the site if you guys like the idea.

Greets Darien
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Artimidor Federkiel
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« Reply #1 on: 24 December 2014, 16:33:03 »

Hello there and welcome back, Darien!

Well,first of all you should perhaps decide which name you want to use here on the Dev board, Diagondus Hirondus  or Darien. You can change your display name in your settings for example if you want. So you might try that.

Second, development help is always appreciated, and more "Underworld" stuff would be fine. Actually there's already an entry on site in this regard, entitled Thieves Underground, which deals with that sort of thing. Don't know if you're read that one already. At any rate, take a look at that to see what we already have, so that you can expand from there maybe.

A dungeon with a cool backstory for example would definitely be interesting for example, or a group focusing on a specific type of crime would be a nice ideas as well. As for the other thing you mention ("contrast of thresholds to darkness") I have to admit I have no clue what you're referring to here exactly, so maybe you could explain that a bit more.
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Burton Sable
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« Reply #2 on: 24 December 2014, 19:08:02 »

Thanks,

I'm aware of the "thieves underground".
But it's a very global entry.
Its like an overview entry.
My focus is much deeper.
I would focus on different types of criminality.
They would be more like sub-entries.
Or they're specific entries for one city.
I want to create some aspects of "DARK FANTASY".
I want to create the human side that focusses on the darker aspects of human life.
A gothic theme.

The thieves underground just creates 1 layer.
I work in layering.
I would slowly make the reader descent into the depths of "true crime".
There used to be an outdated entry on the site that could explain my idea for a bit.
It was thugs, henchmen, patsies and a kingpin in charge of some illegal beer brewing.
I've been working on creating something similar, however with a more changing and organic structure.
The head of the snake might be cut off, but it will create a void of power to be taken by the next.
Underground fighting, prostitution, dealings with the black market….
I think the causes of criminality or natural events that will happen wherever there is high levels of anarchy and unfair wealth distribution.
A graven that falls from his position and loses his inheritance (his castle, or whatever), He might become a fine kingpin.
An orphan dropped on the streets without parents, he makes a fine thief.
When war rages the country, or some other calamity, it will create hard times for everyone; which will challenge the law-system. It will create anarchy and challenge peoples survival.
There will be many orphans and many bitter graven's when anarchy starts.

Thieves guilds and assassins guilds.
They are so mysterious….
How does it work?
Every organization develops differently…
It's all linked to what measures they have to take in order to survive.

Hmmmm…..

And the thresholds to darkness….

It describes 10 levels.

I made it up for character creation.

It basically describes someone who hears a "Dark calling".

Every level describes him losing more sanity.

You could compare the process as a combination between "alienation"  and "power abuse".

Level 1 is outstanding citizen. No conflict.

Level 5 is "Inner darkness". subject is conflicted. Has a darkness inside of him. Subject might develop forms of insanity trying to isolate the evil from his personality.

Level 10 is pure evil. Subject lost all connection with society. No longer has moral boundaries.

"Each threshold"  is basically a crime of isolation.
If you commit a small crime, you will start telling yourself lies.
If you committed multiple murders you might be ' emotionally numbing'  yourself.
Hmmm…
Might and exploitment of weaker people as yourself is a natural result of power.
Who has more power then him who wields magic?
Why would ximax not develop some sort of policy from preventing the wrong people to gain such power?

hehehe….

Well, something like that was my idea with the thresholds.
I always think about that LICHE entry.
Ximax would use this policy to prevent mages from going on that path.


Well it could be fun to explore the idea a bit.
If i did not write it well enough, i would be happy to have been a inspiration to someone who can do better.

You know artimidor.
Shortly after i submitted my Liche idea. (some years ago)
I failed to write it.
I just had this idea.
Eventually some time later, you felt the calling to actually make the thing.
It turned out well…
I also started a slimer entry.
haha
I remember Talia disagreeing about the liche concept.
She did not want more vampires she said.
A liche is soo different from a vampire.
hahaha

I can just give it a shot, to entertain you guys.
Submit something.
I learned a lot.
I should test my writing skills for an audience.
I'm sometimes a bit of a sloth.
But I work hard whenever I am passionate.
I think good ideas are in how it's conveyed.
I might not get the image of my vision towards you guys.
But i've found some new techniques to eventually try.
Maybe i will get more motivation if i actually succeed in a first entry.

I should start small.
If i created a dungeon for my first entry, would that be small enough?
Or maybe a persons entry….about a corrupt noble/ kingpin.
Hmm
My entries have little historical impact.
They are just used to describe a dark setting.
Like the "THIEF" games. Convey a mood.
Make a santharian "SCARFACE".
How about the avenue of santharian "special forces" to take them down.
How about Ximax-hunters to dispatch misuse of black magic.
How about a detectives employed by the order of the fallen or white knights to locate the roots of crime.
How about Seyella mind-soothers as opposition of drug dealing.
I'm just brainstorming now…
But well… we're in medieval and detectives who might somehow 'track DNA' (magic) or something more santharia themed. It's a fun to explore.
Anyways i'm rambling….
 grin
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« Reply #3 on: 24 December 2014, 19:43:17 »

Well, lots of interesting ideas there, Diagondus/Darien...

And I agree: Start small, get a first contribution under your belt, and go from there, that's always important. A first step starts a journey. :)

It probably would be easiest to start, say, with a People entry for example, simply because there's a framework on how such entries should look like, there are lots of examples on site. So for starters doing something in the mould of similar stuff helps a good deal and you learn the ropes that way.

A dungeon on the other hand hasn't been done as of yet, even though it might turn out as a Places entry. But it's definitely more complex and requires more thought on how to structure it etc.

So one after the other I would recommend. Get started with a concrete idea that works along the line of what we have, get your feet wet and then move on to bigger things that refer to your other work and build from there...  cool
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Burton Sable
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« Reply #4 on: 25 December 2014, 01:20:30 »

 thumbup
thanks, artimdor

I'll submit something soon.

I am creating my CD on the RPG board first.
It's my priority to finish Darién.
I've gotten into a little bump with layering.
Trying to overlap story lines but putting them into the same scenes.
Create a powerful short story.
The more powerful you make a story, the more research you have to do.
I've created this huge back story to understand the motives, goals, psychology of all 35 characters.
I've got 1 dungeon. and multiple organizations, a few settings.

And it's only act 1.
I want the story compressed to a format that it reads very fast.
I want it to be professional.


Do you personally use a lot of tools for writing Artimidor?
Besides formatting structure, do you also use pot devices?
You heard of the hero journey from vogler?

These kinds of things are at the core of every story.

And I'm writing for emotional impact.
It's cool.

English isn't my first language, i have to re-translate all my work.
But santharia provides an audience and a good learning ground.

What I'm doing is...
Creating a realistic story.
With real people.
And flesh them about with little fantasy props in the setting and the dialogue.
It's a endless avenues to explore. So structure is key.

And i wish i had time-management.

You know i've been working and gathering and researching techniques for ages now.
It all started with my Darién character.
And now i will put it to the test again.
I started small and it got bigger.
Hehe
And it got bigger.
And now it has to become smaller again.
You understand what i mean?
 grin buck
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« Reply #5 on: 25 December 2014, 16:10:08 »

As for writing tips: Personally I always have to warn from too ambitious projects. In short: You cannot expect to be successful at writing a novel if you haven't done a short story. You cannot explore dozens of characters at the same time if you haven't gone through the process of handling one or two throughout a whole story. At least that's my take on it. Same with Compendium entries. You need to make experiences first before you can tackle something bigger.

Personally I need an overall plan for the whole thing I'm writing, then do chapter by chapter, defining the key points first and move from one point to the other. I also constantly revise the stuff I'm writing, for one to get into a text again after a break, and secondly because you need distance to a text to understand its faults and fix them. Stephen King wrote whole novels and shelved them to get back to them after a year or so, aware that the first drafts won't hold up. So yeah, small steps for aspiring authors, that's what I recommend... ;)
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Ryldor Gadriel
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« Reply #6 on: 30 December 2014, 16:49:34 »

Darien,

So if someone wanted to rewrite the Thieves Underground entry to make it broader and more encompassing, would that interest you? It would be a more comprehensive overview of different types of rogues and guilds, with a few examples of each.
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« Reply #7 on: 30 December 2014, 19:56:58 »

@Artimidor

Yes i agree.
I think i should try and gain some experience.
(i got lot's of theoretical knowledge about writing, but i lack making real stories, i should try and bring it in practice more)

@Ryldor

The thieves underground is just a acknowledgement of "a shady side" toward society.
I think the entry in itself is well-written, it doesn't need revisions or expansions (yet).

I could write "global organizations"... like smugglers, pirates, dealers, kingpins (and so on...); to give a taste or explanation on how they operate.

Or
I could write "a people entry"... On a specific guild or group that existed in year XXX and caused XXX trouble...
I'd not generalize but be specific about.
I could write a kingpin (crime king) that was captured and interrogated. That describes the inner workings of his smuggling and his cartel.

I think the "global organizations" is something that would have to be able to apple to every city and town and santharia, and is thus a master-work. It affects everything so it would have to be done right.
The "people entry" might suit better, since crime is something that spawns from certain factors and is difficult to generalize.

Smugglers for example.
The ways in which smugglers operate depends on the danger they have to overcome.
Smugglers in Ximax might be very different from smugglers in Voldar.
I mean Ximax would probably smuggle illegal reagents, knowledge, power and forbidden magic.
How would you fool a mage? Mages might have some tricks to expose smugglers. It needs some very extraordinary individuals to smuggle stuff. And the smugglers might be linked to organizations such as necromancers and visionaries. Would they smuggle stuff inside Ximax or get stuff out? Ximax has a lot of valueables. Would there be organizations interested in kidnapping mages to their bidding? Or people that are not allowed entry who still want to be a mage?
How about "in the name of the wind" (did you read that book?) (patrick rothfuss, go read now!) there is this girl Devi. Devi is a moneylender to students who can not afford the study. She takes samples of blood of her customers. If they betray her then she owns their lives by using blood magic on them, should they ever not pay back. I really like such ideas.
Smugglers in Voldar might use ships to smuggle....
How about a "prostitution ring".
Is there a "cartel"?
When you think about criminality, you think about "human needs".
If the king does not want his streets cluttered with "whores and prostitution" and he does something about it.
The city watch enforces the law.
But there are still man who want to fuck and have fun.
Do they choose to supress their needs, do whatever the king says and go marry a woman and be faithful?
Or will there be men who rebel against that law and create a secret little mans-club exclusive for those people who still have the "need" even tough it's illigal.
Boom!
A criminal branch is born.
You can think about this in a similar ways about "booze, drugs, knowledge and weapons (....and much more).
Some criminal branches might even directly oppose the laws of their duke/ king.
They might be looking to incite rebellion.

Then there are also the "darker clubs" that prey upon the worst crimes.
They represent the darkest "needs" of human nature.

How about those sick psychos who love to torture someone or rape someone just for fun.
How about the "dark desires".
Are there maybe necromancers and cultists outside of the city.
They might need "organs" of humans for their rituals.

Also there is lawlessness and anarchy.
If you have two rival organizations.
They can not go to the authorities if someone commits a crime towards them.
They have no other choice to enforce their own law.
Take actions to defend or survive.
If they go to the lord of high justice, they will lose their organization and income.
Thus organized crime is born.

Anyway....
My point...

It needs several entries.
It can not fit into the thieves underground entry, it would become too large.
There is just too much information to share.

I will make something and try to expand on it.
I would make people entries of notorious criminals or....
a misc. entry about a "drug" that spread trough.
Or a "place entry" that is directly affected by "dark side of crime".
They all carry a theme and could be linked towards the "thieves underground".
That's the direction i would take.
 cool rolleyes grin

you agree?

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« Reply #8 on: 31 December 2014, 02:14:01 »

To latch onto your layering idea...

Maybe one general page that describes the basics of the underworld. Things like:
What are the types of rogues?
How are they viewed by society at large and by different races in particular?
How do they communicate and interact?
What are guilds? What are the benefits and duties to being a guild member?


This is where I would start.

The next layer would get more detailed, focusing on specific people, places and organizations. I think this is what you're interested in. (And where I personally feel the current 'Thieves Underground' entry belong since it covers only one guild.)

Thoughts?

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Oh dearest Ryldor, dust thou know thy charm?; The clever smile soft upon thy face; Seem like a promise for to do no harm; Whilst I, enjoying thy tender grace; Should gaze in admiration at thy eyes; As azure as where highest heaven lay; Reflections of the clearest, truest skies; They seem to melt my very heart away!; And if thy lovely words were not as true; As thine eyes blue, still I'd believe thy claim; Of magedom. Magic turned a rosy hue; My cheeks. A spell thou cast upon this dame!; Thou art a most capricious scoundrel, yet; The sweetest gentlemen I've ever met.; ~ Rayne Avalotus
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« Reply #9 on: 31 December 2014, 06:45:54 »

@Ryldor
What you say might work, tough i think there are lots of rogues.
There are lots of crimes as well. Every crime has it's own rogues.
This would or could create an endless list of rogue types.
(i don't want to describe them all, i might miss some..., and it's still difficult to create branches if they aren't specific to one territory)

I would write a Underworld entry.
It's where everything that can be good, gets a bad twist.
It's almost like an example of AVA vs COOR.
This is a layer of human's worst aspects tainting society.

Here's a sample.
I think I'd like to categorize the types of rogues by their "vice and exploit".
If i list every type of rogue then the list would get too long.
I'd rather give a brief explanation of criminal structures and maybe provide some job-descriptions.
A thief is a rogue.
A thief steals.
A thief thus belongs to the sin and exploit of "greed".
But a thief can be a robber, a con-artist, a pirate or a burglar.
An organization can spawn from several enterprising thieves that meet and start a business, in which they might need a "fencer" and a "contact in the department of treasury, to plot their missions."
So in order to keep a good overview, we might need to branch the rogues into their respective Vices. When I'm done it will eventually provide a good overview on how to link these organizations together (which is left to the readers imagination).


The Underworld of Santharia

Overview

It’s the darker layers of any race; mainly the human, that represent the immoral and wicked side of society.

he Underworld is often made up of unrestrained and widespread activities that are most of the time coordinated by organizational structures.
They openly engage in wrongdoing, sins and shameful acts. They are guilty of actions that are injurious to public welfare.
The underworld is considered to be the embodiment of humanity’s greatest weakness and corruption.

Tough all races in the world of Caelereth have their own form of misconduct and wrongdoing, the human society is the most adaptable and diversified. Human nature centres around power, while elves are more concerned with beauty and creation of life. The dwarves are driven for wealth and orcs for destruction.
The darker aspects of the three races: “elves, dwarves and orcs” often supplement the much larger syndicates and crime structures of humanity.

The darkness of human nature spawned from the shadows of society; have often caused great calamity and catastrophe for their entire race. As crime lords grow in power so grows their ambition. It often starts with mischief that turns into a profit, a profit that becomes a gold-mine; and it attracts more mischief, eventually circling and spiraling out of control until it’s stopped by authorities or rival mischief.

History is filled with records of heinous crime, some of these crimes have caused rebellions and even wars.
(there are a lot of santharian example entries that can be linked towards the underworld)

Appearance

The appearance of these organizational structures and characteristics of the underworld are those of the vices that surface within a human (or any other race, for that matter).

Prostitution (Exploit of sexual Lust):
Sexual lust is one of the best branches of crime for the underworld. It deals with the intense wish, desire or craving for the body. There are lots of men who take desire in cheating on the spouse and fantasize about that which is out of reach. Often too much lust is considered morally wicked; therefor most societies have strict laws about monogamy.
This is often to avoid the spreading of dangerous diseases, unhappiness and to prevent the “crimes of passion”.
Forms of prostitution are most predominant in the metropolises of santharia. During harsh times of poverty, the body becomes ones biggest asset. Prostitution is a way to survive and is in most societies somewhat tolerated (tough frowned upon). There are gangs and strong men who see these women to be profitable and they’d become the middleman towards bigger circles of customers. Rivalry might attract gangs or even spawn them in order to protect their women (that are considered nothing else but a source of income), and they might even  give them with tattoo’s or scars to ‘brand them’.
Add several job descriptions of this branch here.
Pimp, prostitute, slaver, etc.

Theft (Exploit of riches and Greed):
Theft is considered to be the wrongful taking and carrying away of personal goods or property of another.
 Robbery, theft and trickery all go into the same avenue.
Thief, robber, looter, etc.

-----<more crimes based on their exploit and sins>----


On a side note: I think it's best to categorize the type of crime by the "weakness of the trait"....

I just wrote this as a sample for a more global entry.
I like the idea of categorizing criminality by sins.
If someone were to look for a crime organization....
He'd go by the list.
He thinks, hmmmmm I want to make a evil organization and it's dominant trait is: "lust"
Lust brings forth prostitution and works like this and this.
That's the kind of structure i need.

basically a global entry is also in a way a guide to making more criminality entries.
But writing it is a master project.


@ everyone :

Does anyone like the idea?
Should i try and write it?
« Last Edit: 31 December 2014, 06:57:42 by Diagondus Hirondus » Logged
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« Reply #10 on: 04 January 2015, 16:54:10 »

Well, that's a possible approach. (I'd recommend not to use the term "sinful", though, because this is terminology associated with religion.) So you could get to write such a general Underworld entry, Diagondus, and if Ryldor is up for it focus on rewriting the Thieves Underground entry as a sub-entry of that, bringing this part of the Underworld up to date. If that would be fine with both of your, then we could try that. Maybe if Ryldor focuses on the Thieves, you could work on that part of the Underworld entry first, Diagondus, so that you both know what each other plans and Ryldor can also expand from there as well (and also expand from what we already have in the current entry).

P.S. Try to decide which name you use, Diagondus/Darien - this gets confusing...
« Last Edit: 04 January 2015, 17:00:52 by Artimidor Federkiel » Logged



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« Reply #11 on: 04 January 2015, 20:39:52 »

My new name shall be "Burton Sable"

Which i think is a fitting name for a 'underworld' researcher.
 grin

So no more Confusion.
Darién is my 'RPG character'.
Burton Sable is my 'compendium researcher'

@ Artimidor

I think Ryldor was just brainstorming with me.
I don't know if he wants to develop stuff.
Hmm
I'll just try to create this underworld entry.
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« Reply #12 on: 04 January 2015, 21:28:36 »

Well, Ryldor wanted to rewrite the Thieves Underground entry as far as I understood. Correct me if I'm wrong, Ryldor!
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« Reply #13 on: 05 January 2015, 08:37:45 »

Basically I only saw the Thieves Underground entry when it was linked earlier in this thread. I was confused about what it wanted to be. Was it supposed to be a general article discussing all thieves with hundreds of members? A super secret guild of sorts with a couple of dozen members? Something in the middle?

So I had the idea to create a much more generic 'Rogues' article covering the basics. Then add on the details, like how different races feel about rogues, and famous thieves/guilds (including the Black Butterfly Rovers and a rewritten The Underground) throughout Santharia.

That was my semi-simple plan.

Edited to add: Originally I did imagine it the other way around with me doing the 'main' page and Burton doing the specifics since he seems to have much more focused ideas, but I'm ok with whatever.
« Last Edit: 05 January 2015, 08:44:49 by Ryldor Gadriel » Logged

Oh dearest Ryldor, dust thou know thy charm?; The clever smile soft upon thy face; Seem like a promise for to do no harm; Whilst I, enjoying thy tender grace; Should gaze in admiration at thy eyes; As azure as where highest heaven lay; Reflections of the clearest, truest skies; They seem to melt my very heart away!; And if thy lovely words were not as true; As thine eyes blue, still I'd believe thy claim; Of magedom. Magic turned a rosy hue; My cheeks. A spell thou cast upon this dame!; Thou art a most capricious scoundrel, yet; The sweetest gentlemen I've ever met.; ~ Rayne Avalotus
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« Reply #14 on: 05 January 2015, 09:41:31 »

I was currently working on:

How the underworld came to be.
The origins/ evolution

(notice the thieves underground is not not the same as my "underworld"; tough the names are similar)

In this entry i plan on answering some of these thematic questions:

1 THE LAYERS/ NEXUS POINTS OF THE UNDERWORLD
-The frameworks of beginning organizations (listed by the type of crime lord)
Expansion of structural crime and coordinated crime.
There will be 3 levels:
level 1: describes nexus points for the birth of crime lords and coordinated structures.
level 2: describes nexus points for organized crime and specializations of crime.
level 3: describes nexus points for evolutions of crime ( possible avenues of what organized crime could turn into (anarchy, rebellion, the followers of gangs and their migrations) , and the connections with the darker and evil sides of the world like psychopaths, cultists, necromancers, maybe even demons or whatever malicious forces at work)


2 MOTIVATIONS AND INSTIGATION OF CRIME
-How do the roots of crimes intertwine with established laws and moral codes?
-what kind of traits (vices) are responsible for triggering crime inside a society?
-What’s the severity of punishments and the chances of getting caught?


Hmmm
I've got some great sources here to draw from.
It's a bit of a hassle to make it into my own neat structure.

@Ryldor

Your 'generic rogues'  might be the same as my 'crime lords'.

Every crime lords gets a description of it's trade and how the basic overlay of the organization works.
Here's some of the stuff i thought up so far:
I'm still expanding on it

Level 1:

Black market Fencer:
A person who has made a business of receiving and disposing of stolen goods.
He’s the central nexus of robbers, art thieves and pirates. If an organization grows larger or cooperates with other fencers, it might spawn forth a black market.

Bootlegger (the dealer):
To make, transport, sell and deal in unlawful goods.
(false trinkets, liquors, potions, drugs and reagents)

Dueling promoter:
A person that encourages, organizes and promotes prearranged combats between two persons or parties in order to obtain a profit from it.

Gang Lord (agent of chaos):
Trough absence or failing of the law enforcement; the gang lord rises. The gang lord becomes a authority of power through the (sworn) obedience he gets from his followers. The gang Lord is a person that does anything for the betterment of him, his family, his goals or his community, even if it means breaking the laws.

Level 2:
Extortionist (shark/ mobster):
Extortion is a natural evolution of structural crime, to exploit the dissipating abiding of the law. 
The inability of using the law makes it possible for opposing parties to wrest money or information from crime lords by use of violence, intimidation, or abuse of authority.

Smuggling lord:
A person that imports or exports (goods) secretly, in violation of the law.
It’s often a service to bring non-lawful goods towards other crime lords (or straight towards the target-crowd).



I intend to expand a bit further on some of these lords. (information on how they operate)
But basically if you add them all together you get syndicates and organized crime, or perhaps even a criminal force that is stronger then the local authorities.

I think the 'rogues' you might want to describe are dark champions, like thieves and assassins and other specializations.
I am more focused on writing the setting they live in.
Where do they meet? How does it all work, behind the scenes?

If you are an assassin.... You might need a little operation to back you up, otherwise certain enemies will kill you.
So i want to know where does a assassin go to find his contacts?
From who does a master-thief learn that the high noble of xxx has a precious diamond buried in his backyard?
Where do pirates dock and sell their stolen goods?
How do hookers protect themselves?
What are the results on society trough crime?
Like drugs....(imagine addicts crawling around the streets like zombies)
Like gang violence... (imagine dead bodies and hacked of limbs floating in the rivers trough town)
Like forceful gang domination ( law authorities might be afraid and the normal people join crime in order to compete with the market, good citizens are sloths, they look the other way...)

Anyway....

I'm trying to create a setting.

If you got ideas or stuff to contribute,
We could work together Ryldor.
I could implement your ideas,
or you could implement mine...

 grin
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