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Author Topic: A makeshift poem.  (Read 2274 times)
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Ralhag Silverskin
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« on: 29 September 2001, 02:25:00 »

I was bored tonight, so I took a few mins to write a poem.  It took about 10 mins so its not bad, but I though I'd share it with you, just for the hell of it.

Tell me what you think
The Curse of the Orc

Written by: Ralhag

In this land, there is a fear,
If you're not careful, it does draw near.
There are no tales of a greater foe,
If one exists I do not know.
With an awful fury it rapes the land,
It does it’s work like no man can.

The orcs, the orcs,
They outnumber my men,
They attack our fort,
One man against ten!

The fight rages on for days and days,
The orcs, they come, wave upon wave,
My men grow tired, they grow weak,
The orcs keep coming, it's blood they seek,
If not for the sun, we’d get no rest,
For in the cool of night, orcs fight best.

On the fourth full day, of gross bloodshed,
Our prayers were answered, help finally did arrive.
As the units showed, all the cowardly orcs fled.
But this prayer was forsaken, for few men survived.

The curse of the orcs is a vicious one,
They kill everything, they don’t spare none.
But man will conquer, they WILL win,
For to give up hope, is a mortal sin.

At yer service,

Ralhag

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Capher
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« Reply #1 on: 29 September 2001, 07:48:00 »

IIIIIIIIIIIIII like it.  Sounds like it could be used as even an eyewitness account of a battle that a bard saw or was even in the midst of.  Something like when Francis Scott Key wrote the Star Spangled Banner when he witnessed the battle between the British and Fort Sumnter. USA.

With deepest regards,Capher

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Winlok
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« Reply #2 on: 29 September 2001, 12:23:00 »

I agree with what Capher says, it could be an eye witness account of a battle, seen through the eyes of a bard in an inn or tavern. I am currently working on a story, where a man walks into an all but deserted inn. There is just a mintrel or bard singing in the corner, a thief, and the innkeeper. The bard could be singing that tune.

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Ralhag Silverskin
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« Reply #3 on: 29 September 2001, 13:54:00 »

Winlok,

As the subject line says, you can use it if you want it, I just did it for fun, as I had no plans for it.  

At yer service,

Ralhag  

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Winlok
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« Reply #4 on: 29 September 2001, 14:23:00 »

Well I've just copied and pasted it now, so consider it done. thanks! ;)  

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Artimidor Federkiel
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« Reply #5 on: 03 October 2001, 13:17:00 »

*haha* 10 minutes? Have I mentioned that I in general need 10 years to finish a really good poem?

Okeydokey. Will put that piece in the library too.

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SmurfStormcrow
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« Reply #6 on: 03 October 2001, 17:10:00 »

I lilke the poem a lot.

But, no insult intended, people have each line of their poem a certain number of syllables to keep the rhythm sounding really good. But I do like the poem, just think about that in the future. :)  

Stormcrow

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Ralhag Silverskin
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« Reply #7 on: 04 October 2001, 01:03:00 »

Thanks alot for the input and advice, but I chose to mix up rhyming schemes and rythm, to add flavour, if you will, but if its more accepted to do it your way, I will.

At yer service,

Ralhag

Edited by: Ralhag at: 10/3/01 8:06:39 am
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SmurfStormcrow
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« Reply #8 on: 05 October 2001, 17:05:00 »

Ah! If its a style, I have no problem with it, and I don't have a problem anyway. Just wanted to point that out. But really, keep writing!

Stormcrow

Psychotic Wizard-Type

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