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Author Topic: "A Summerday Morning" - Ishmaelion's piano piece  (Read 3408 times)
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Artimidor Federkiel
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« on: 13 September 2005, 12:04:00 »

And here is the promised melancholic piano piece from Ishmaelion he wrote and performed to go with the Monsonius and Stela entries. If I read his comments correctly, this is a song to go with the lyrics of the in the entries mentioned poem "A Summerday Morning" poem/cylcle of poems - actually there exist already two poems, but I guess these have escaped his attention (well, the links aren't there). Nevertheless I think the piece fits in style with Judy's version you can find at the Mourning Songs page, but it also fits very well in parts to the version I wrote at the Love Poems page. With other words: It just fits the mood perfectly:D   :thumbup  

Before I ramble too much, here's the piece for downloading:

A Summerday Morning (4:50 min, 4.42 MB)

I really love it - it has precisely this melancholic character I spoke of, one can really see visually the picture you paint of the morning sun shining through the leaves of a tree, floating in a breeze, telling us of past memories... Absolutely great - I can play it 15 times in a row and don't get fed up with it, this song really has character!:D   - How I'd love to hearsing Wren to this... - Fantastic work, Ishmaelion!

So go, and download it, people! BTW: At the first 20 seconds there's no music and you hear a bit of commotion, so you have to wait a bit. So it would need to be re-recorded in a final version, but let's hear if there are some musicians who can comment on this with adding their knowledge. I personally like it very much!!! Precisely my taste! :clap   :clap   :clap    


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Edited by: Artimidor Federkiel at: 9/12/05 20:05
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« Reply #1 on: 13 September 2005, 13:22:00 »

Nice!!!!  :clap   :clap   :clap


I think I have the tools to cut this beginning of - but NO idea how to use them! :(

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Grunok the Exile
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« Reply #2 on: 13 September 2005, 20:55:00 »

Wow, 'mael, this is great! You're continually raising the bar. :D  I think the thing which I am most impressed by is that you really took on board all the feedback you were given from your original two pieces, and came up with something so tailored to Santharia. Just great!





Grunok's CD

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Gean Firefeet
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« Reply #3 on: 22 September 2005, 16:29:00 »

A short reply from a cloud traveller.

:jawdrop

Your ability to create atmosphere it very good. Again, it is a not too complex piece, but it is effective, it works. I have only two small remarks: the part from about 1:38 to about 2:20, where you go from a good pulse to half tempo and then catch up again, it's again a little shaky, make sure it's clear for those who're listening where your tempo is heading to. Secondly, I like the thing you do in the end, when you leave out the bass for a bar or two before letting your melody go down to the final note. I'd stress this bass-less moment a little longer, perhaps double the length, before you wrap the piece up.

I still owe you a reply to East Hastings and I wasn't able to find wether or not you had re-recorded your first piece in the short time I scanned the fora. Shall we get in touch again via email? See you there soon, I'm really of to bed now.

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Bard Judith
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« Reply #4 on: 22 September 2005, 17:30:00 »

Hullo, Maelion!

This is full of atmosphere and, doubtless because it is a 'direct record', has plenty of character.   If it were an illustration, I'd call it 'painterly' - you know, the brush strokes show...

However, that direct-to-tape sound is also awkward in that any errors or hesitations made during the performance also show up and are difficult to splice out or correct.  I for one wouldn't know where to start!   But assuming you, or someone else, can go in and tweak the electronic version, here are a couple of suggestions.

The beginning 'noise' should be cropped off, and there are a couple of misfingerings somewhere in the middle of the piece.  The program I'm playing it with does not display time, so I can't be any more precise.

Apart from that - hey, it's an original composition with a mood that fits something here on the site already, so what else can we say but 'great work' and 'thank you'?    

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Theodorus Holzman
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« Reply #5 on: 23 September 2005, 00:11:00 »

Though I'm not an experienced musician, nor familiar with playing piano, I still tried to see if I could make any comments.

Firstly, I agree with Bard Judith that the first part of the piece should be cropped off. (0-19 sec.)
Then, I think you could perhaps be a little more convincing when you start. Maybe it's just because of the noises before, but the first time I listened to your piece, it wasn't clear to me if you really start at 0,19, or if it's a first attempt and you start over again with a second start.

Then I agree with Gean that the acceleration from 2:29 is perhaps a bit unsteady. It's not exactly clear where you're wanting to go.
Also, you increase the volume quite a lot there. I figure that is your intention, but still I know it's a common tendency of musicisians to play louder when accelerating (or vice versa), and I just wanted to point it out.

Then, at 3:09, there is a little hesitation which makes it sound like you're exactly a second late with your note. I think that might need to be tweaked somehow.

I hope you can do something with these comments. And I'd like to conclude by saying that so far, I like your piece better each new time I listen to it.

KR,
Theodorus

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Gean Firefeet
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« Reply #6 on: 24 September 2005, 16:32:00 »

I just send Ishmaelion a mail with constructive criticism on East Hastings. I hope he's able to do something useful with it and I look forward to future recordings, so that we may perfect these minor details!

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« Reply #7 on: 26 September 2005, 16:21:00 »

OKay folks, first of all, THANKS FOR ALL THE WISE ADVICE!!!

I will record tommorow (today, as it is already past midnight over here). Here is my priority list:

FIRST PRIORITY:
-taping A Summerday Morning, with final adjustments and completely perfect

SECOND PRIORITY:
-trying to tape The Shadow Elves Theme, although that one will pose some iddifulties with making it sound like before

THIRD PRIORITY:
-if I have some time left, I will try to incorperate Gean's comments into East Hastings, again, this will pose a challenge, but maybe I will get lucky today:D    

Ishmaelion

Edited by: ishmaelion  at: 9/28/05 19:03
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Artimidor Federkiel
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« Reply #8 on: 27 September 2005, 13:20:00 »

Ishmaelion just finished his second recording on this piece, so here it is:

A Summerday Morning, Take II (4:20 min, 3.96 MB)

Comment from Ishmaelion:
"I tried to record the final version of this song, but inspiration left me as soon as my hands touched the board. I have however taped a version, I would like it if you put it on, to hear the comments, I am not a great fan of it, but it might be more what the others mean. I will try to record again this week.

greetings,
Ishmaelion"


Comment from myself:
This version from my point of view is more consistent in the overall performance, e.g. that the volumne doesn't increase that dramatically and I think one can clearly hear that the considerations were taken into account:D  At the end especially there are further additions and improvements, which I like very much:)  Again the piece starts slow, which is intended, and leads slowly from the more lamenting part as I would call it into the melody, which gets more and more beautiful - and now with the mentioned further elaboration at the end, it's an absolutely breathtaking piece. And because it starts slow and quiet and doesn't get into a too strong crescendo, it now can be heard again and again even better:D

Unfortunately there are 2 little mistakes one can hear, at 2:10 there is an "upmph" somewhere and at 3:38 and 3:39 I think this transgression also wasn't planned precisely that way. But I love the new version very much - it's a pity that you have to play it all again without flaws if there is a tiny problem somewhere. But well, maybe there's time for another recording during the week for a once and for all final version:D  To me it sounds 98% perfect! :clap :broadgrin :nod  


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ishmaelion
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« Reply #9 on: 05 October 2005, 06:52:00 »

Ehm, another recording day is coming up soon and I would like to know which version to focus on, so if anyone please say which version suits them best, I'd be grateful:thumbup  

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« Reply #10 on: 05 October 2005, 09:18:00 »

arghhh, it is so difficult too compare music, I try it later again...

***Astropic of the day***
"For me there is only the traveling on paths that have heart, on any path   that may have heart. There I travel, and the only worthwhile challenge is to traverse its full length. And there I travel looking, looking, breathlessly. ~Don Juan"

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"For me there is only the traveling on paths that have heart, on any path  that may have heart. There I travel, and the only worthwhile challenge is to traverse its full length. And there I travel looking,  breathlessly. ~Don Juan"
***Astropicture of the Day***Talia's Long, Long List***
Artimidor Federkiel
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« Reply #11 on: 05 October 2005, 12:09:00 »

As already stated above: I like the second version very much, the first one has too much forte here and there. If you can iron out a few glitches at version 2 it would be fine with me:)  


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