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Author Topic: Dialogue Ilbeth Derkhan/Part 1  (Read 1533 times)
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Artimidor Federkiel
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« on: 16 June 2003, 07:40:00 »

Here's the first part of The Ilbeth Derkhan Dialogue, part of the Pinn Quest. More to come a bit later, in combination with Pinn quest progress. For now the quest is only handed out and we need to define how the LT program handles certain things (I'll send these details we need to clarify to Humangus). Here's the dialogue excerpt. Exact room definitions of the Prosperous Farmhouse are to follow soon as well:



A Blonde Woman: You see a resolute, buxom woman, whose blonde hair is tied back to a ponytail. She's wearing a red blouse and a worn skirt, which shows races of the meal she's currently preparing. She bustles through the kitchen, doing this and that, re-arranging things and cleaning stains here and there, spreading cooking ingredients all over the place. She appears quite strong as if she'd help out with manual work as well and seems determined to do her work with the necessary care and devotion needed to keep a larger household at bay.

You nod to the blonde-haired woman who - judging from your wetting mouth - is obviously in the process of cooking an exceptionally well-smelling meal.

"We haven't met yet, haven't we?" the woman says as you make a step closer to the magically smelling pot.

Artimidor: "I'm sure we did."

A Blonde Woman: "Well, I usually remember a face when I see one. And there aren't too many people passing through Nepris."

Artimidor: "Well, ok, I admit I wasn't sure. My name is Artimidor, may I ask yours?"

A Blonde Woman: "Certainly, stranger. My name is Ilbeth, and as you can see I'm preparing some food for the bunch of strong men we have here at the house. Northman's Pot as you can probably smell: spicy beans with cheese and onions. - Well, what can I do for you?"

Artimidor: "You've three men in your household?"

Ilbeth Derkhan: Ilbeth laughs. "Yeah, that's right. Poor me. Aside from Mannef, my husband, and Pinn, my little darling, my grandfather lives up in the attic. I guess all they were born for is to bring this house in turmoil. Well, well, well..."

Ilbeth sighs while shrubbing some plates, then puts one after the other carefully on the table.

"Say - you didn't accidentally happen to see Pinn on your way? A little boy, eight years old, carrying a toy ship with him and a ball made with sheep's wool?"

Artimidor: "Yeah, sure, I've even talked to him. He's at the shore, just a bit to the south."

Ilbeth Derkhan: "I see. Well, you don't seem to be as busy as I am, but maybe you're a bit hungry... If you happen to see him, could you be so kind to tell him to get back home soon? I could give you a bit of our Northman's Pot as a reward. - What do you say?"

Artimidor: "Sounds great!" You can't await to taste Ilbeth's cooking. "I'll see what I can do..."

Ilbeth Derkhan: "Fine. Then hurry up, Artimidor, or the beans will get cold!"

Artimidor: "I'm searching for a man called Tendrim Kahlof. Do you happen to know his whereabouts?"

Ilbeth Derkhan: "It's this businessman, isn't he? The merchant from the south, right? - Well, I've seen him lately, though where he's right now I can't say. At least businessmen have business to attend to. But ask at the Pines Hostel, I'm sure he got a room there."

Artimidor: "Where may I find the Pines Hostel?"

Ilbeth Derkhan: "Just follow the main street to the north, till you reach the crossing. Then go west, and there at the south it is."

Artimidor: "Your Northman's Pot looks delicate! And smells fabulous as well..."

Ilbeth Derkhan: "Yes, it is indeed a speciality. Althz'onn Beans aren't that common that far south. Traders have brought them a while ago from the Celeste area, a region north of the great Tandala Mountains. We've started to cultivate the beans here, Meghrin and I, and they grow pretty well. And they taste delicious!"

Artimidor: "Bye!"

Ilbeth Derkhan: "See you later, Artimidor!"


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Ta`lia of the Seven Jewels
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« Reply #1 on: 16 June 2003, 15:24:00 »

Do you have cooking skills , Art??:lol  

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« Reply #2 on: 17 June 2003, 02:32:00 »

Artimidor,

You have this:

You nod to the blonde-haired woman who - judging from your wetting mouth - is obviously in the process of cooking an exceptionally well-smelling meal.

I may read better as this:

You nod to the blonde-haired woman who - judging from the enticing aroma and your salivating mouth - is obviously in the process of preparing an exceptionally good meal.

Should be this way: (changed a couple of words to a more correct usage but not taking away intent)

"We haven't met yet, have we?" the woman asks as you make a step closer to the magically smelling pot.

Ilbeth sighs while grabbing some plates, then puts one after the other carefully on the table.

"Say - you didn't (this word not really necessary) happen to see Pinn on your way? A little boy, eight years old, carrying a toy ship with him and a ball made with sheep's wool?"

On this one you are offering food for a task, wouldn't it be better to send him for the child to get the reward of this food?  Maybe written this way?

lbeth Derkhan: "I see. Well, you don't seem to be as busy as I am, but maybe you're a bit hungry... If you could you be so kind as to go fetch him and bring him home soon, I could give you a bit of our Northman's Pot as a reward. - What do you say?"


Just some ideas to help.  What do you think?



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Artimidor Federkiel
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« Reply #3 on: 17 June 2003, 11:20:00 »

*haha* No, don't worry, Talia... My cooking skills are very limited, and I hope this doesn't actually show in Ilbeth's dialogue... ;)  

And thanx for the corrections, Thuja, they are greatly appreciated, and all fitting:D   *scurries off to fix them and mail the finished version to Humangus*


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Edited by: Artimidor Federkiel at: 6/16/03 7:25 pm
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"Between the mind that plans and the hands that build there must be a mediator, and this must be the heart." -- Maria (Metropolis)
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