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Author Topic: Master Ibbon Alnasray of Nepris  (Read 6985 times)
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Brother Shine
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« Reply #15 on: 24 May 2003, 08:16:00 »

Phew.

Right, sorted appearance, clarified history, added detail tot he the 'Negotiations' with the Mithalrim and added the childrens tale -"The Master and the Pirates".  WIll add mermaid story from original post when finished in my head.

Again with the phew.

Thuja - everybody is interested in gold.  Secondly, not everybody in fishing village fishes -networkers, women, children, itenerants, to name just a few.

"Hear all.  See all. Say nowt"

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Artimidor Federkiel
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« Reply #16 on: 24 May 2003, 08:29:00 »

The summary/overview still doesn't fit as I can see... Well, it's big update time this weekend, so in case you can finish this entry from your side till tomorrow, it will probably go up this week:)  


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Urse the Distant
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« Reply #17 on: 24 May 2003, 08:44:00 »

in what way not fitty fitty fit fit?

"Queprer waits...."

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Brother Shine
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« Reply #18 on: 24 May 2003, 08:46:00 »

oops.  This is me, being me, this time.

In what way not fit, advice, per favore.

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Artimidor Federkiel
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« Reply #19 on: 24 May 2003, 09:17:00 »

The overview/summary should summarize the information presented below in short form. If you want to look up someone in an encyclopedia and don't want to read through the person's hole biography, a few lines are enough to sketch the person.

Birth date and dying date should be mentioned, where he/she came from, the most important things the person achieved in life etc. If you look into an encylopedia you won't find word/passages like: "Introducing" or "This information is primarily for Nepris Game Module, also background for Nepris and East coast of Macogg", you know... ;)


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Thuja
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« Reply #20 on: 24 May 2003, 19:34:00 »

If you say everyone is interested in gold, that is your take.  I will not disagree that a vast majority does.  But I know from experience, NOT everyone is interested in gold.  This is not meant as an arguement or to belittle you, but I think the majority of the fishermen would care about the sea than the gold in the hills.

But then again, what do I know, was just throwing out my worthless 2¢.


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Artimidor Federkiel
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« Reply #21 on: 26 May 2003, 12:46:00 »

Okeydokey... I've made final adjustments to the main entry myself now and put it up:D  The entry is well written now, though I've smoothened some edges here and there (read the entry again to see where exactly). I guess it fits in very well. You have a bit of a tendecy for misspelling, Brother Shine, e.g. it's Azhorhian and Mitharim dwarves, but it's not easy to get used to all these strange names... :lol

So the updated entry is already in this update, but not the story yet, which I'll deal with next update, okeydokey?

Good job... Hope you're feeling adventurous enough to contribute more of this kind;)  


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Brother Shine
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« Reply #22 on: 28 May 2003, 09:29:00 »

Thanks.

Yeah, i can see its a little rough in places still.  Wish I'd seen that when I wrote it!

Yeah, love to help more, got some ideas for some plants and animals.  Maybe do something about diseases and geographical phenomena (earthquake zones, volcanoes). That seems a little light on the site, unless I'm just being dumb-sighted.

Time may get a little precious now.  Got full time work (hurrah, no more searching through trash cans ;) ) which gives me little time over the next three months, until late opening of college again, but i'll do what i can.

"Hear all.  See all. Say nowt"

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Bard Judith
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« Reply #23 on: 28 May 2003, 20:49:00 »

Wren:  Thanks for sticking up for my dwarves when I wasn't there to do so! :b

I think as it reads now is ok - dwarves do enjoy a good haggle and might even forgive the Master his presumption if the deal was good enough.  And yes, the Thergerim do get hungry for a bit of variety in their diet.  So some fish other than mithanjor, some alzthonn beans and lettuces, and perhaps a few human-brewed imported medicines or exotic drinks - who knows?  

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"Give me a land of boughs in leaf /  a land of trees that stand; / where trees are fallen there is grief; /  I love no leafless land."   --A.E. Housman
 
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