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Author Topic: Ban-Yuk Ogres (Finished and Ready)  (Read 10833 times)
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Viresse
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« Reply #30 on: 07 February 2003, 02:50:00 »

Thanks to you guys. I needed a kick in the pants to get this modship thing going.


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Erutan Argon
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« Reply #31 on: 08 February 2003, 21:06:00 »

Phew heres the final update for you Viresse. I wanted to get it in before the weekend so it could be integrated this week. I took into consideration all the things you pointed out. Hope you like! :)  thanks.

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Viresse
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« Reply #32 on: 09 February 2003, 13:17:00 »

Okay.
I actually have to go to work now, but LATER TODAY, I'll come in and read it. Promise.
Though if you've covered everything I said then I may not need to, tee hee!


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Viresse
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« Reply #33 on: 09 February 2003, 22:06:00 »

AWESOME!
I love the add ins. Especially the matings.
This is a great entry.
Good job. I'll try and point Arti this way.
Also, it you put a "Finished" in the Title then Arti may be more apt to peruse it when he drops by.


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Erutan Argon
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« Reply #34 on: 09 February 2003, 23:39:00 »

Thank you Viresse.
It was fun doing this enrtry, and believe me there are many more to come.
Thank you for helping me out, it is much appreciated.
I also want to thank Rayne for helping as well.
Without you both I don't think it would of turned outl like it did.
Thank you both again :)  

Erutan Argon
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Artimidor Federkiel
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« Reply #35 on: 10 February 2003, 02:38:00 »

Ok, I'll check it out in detail and will prepare it for this update if everything's fine:)  


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"Between the mind that plans and the hands that build there must be a mediator, and this must be the heart." -- Maria (Metropolis)
Erutan Argon
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« Reply #36 on: 10 February 2003, 03:11:00 »

Ok.
Thank you sir.

Erutan Argon
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Fox
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« Reply #37 on: 10 February 2003, 03:24:00 »

Berserk? Hmm... according to my sources, that term is usually Berserker..... ;)



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Erutan Argon
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« Reply #38 on: 10 February 2003, 03:28:00 »

Okee thanks I'll change them all. ;)  

Erutan Argon
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Artimidor Federkiel
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« Reply #39 on: 10 February 2003, 03:41:00 »

What about the section Coat of Arms/Signs, Erutan? Sure, they won't have a typical coat of arms, as they are no "intelligent" race in the typical sense, but how about signs to mark their territory? Like e.g. skulls they put on masts or something in this direction. Just primitive "signs" so that you know that this territory is Ban-Yuk Land.

P.S. Read the word "Giant" in your signature again... ;)  


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Edited by: Artimidor Federkiel at: 2/9/03 9:42:11 am
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"Between the mind that plans and the hands that build there must be a mediator, and this must be the heart." -- Maria (Metropolis)
Erutan Argon
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« Reply #40 on: 10 February 2003, 03:51:00 »

Ok I added a section on how they Mark there territories.

Erutan Argon
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Viresse
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« Reply #41 on: 10 February 2003, 11:59:00 »

awesome.
This worked out very well, Erutan.
I can't wait to see this up!


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Artimidor Federkiel
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« Reply #42 on: 10 February 2003, 12:26:00 »

Indeed a very nice and detailed entry:D  Aside from various minor problems which I fixed, there are only major History problems left. At this section I see various things.

- The first history paragraph is much too simple, so I rewrote the most parts. You can simply say: Hey, ogres, either be civilized or go (do ogres even know what is "civilized")? You have to write such things much more subtle.
- Also don't really understand the first paragraph as whole. You say "Unlike some of the other species of Ogres, the Ban-Yuk Ogres were not used as Berserkers for the Orcs. In fact the Orcs did not even know about the Ban-Yuk Ogres until the Ogres themselves officially joined the evil side as there own army. The Ogres were extremely powerful to the army in the attack of Nermeran and Vardynn, in witch happened quickly. Still not at an established number, the Ogres were forced to go under control of other Orcal Generals and such. This really didn't matter though, since all the Ogres wanted to do was fight." - Have I missed something? To which war do you refer to? Can't be SW III, because that was long before the ogres settled there?? - I'd need a complete clarification/rewrite concerning this paragraph.
- The dates should be a.S. (after Santhros), not b.S. (before).
- The river they crossed is the Thaehelvil, not Vandrina (this is the one south of the Thaelon).
- With the Quia attack you mix up things long passed with the current Santharain Kingdom. The bear tribe sure doesn't exit anymore, this was thousands of years ago. The members of the bear tribe formed the Eyelian kingdom back then, but they're all Eyelians. Also it is very unlikely that the Eyelians would hunt the ogres down following them over a year. I changed this part so that they are attacked by a Santharian garnison stationed nearby.


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"Between the mind that plans and the hands that build there must be a mediator, and this must be the heart." -- Maria (Metropolis)
Erutan Argon
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« Reply #43 on: 10 February 2003, 13:24:00 »

Well I mixed up the a.S and b.S time frames and thought that the Ogres could have joined the evil side in SW lll. With that not being true I just created a new first paragraph that just summerizes what the reader will be reading about.

"History-With a pretty simple history, the Ogres made a great journey to a new home. Originally from the territory belonging to the Baal Ogres, they split up and headed up north."

I also posted it on the main description. :)  

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Koldar Mondrakken
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« Reply #44 on: 10 February 2003, 13:52:00 »

Eh... the whole point about Ogres still living within Santharia is that there's still enough wilderness for them to live and hide. There's nothing as Santharia deciding to let them stay, they just didn't care because the occasional raid or attack of one or a few ogres still is nothing to worry about.
Wolves could do the same...

Also would make them travel from north to south over the Tandalas and not through half Santharia.

A treck of Ogres would be far more likely to be attacked by the lords and kings than ogres dropping into a wilderness and slowly expanding there.

Also you mention the Gob-Oc standing no chance against Ogres? Gob-Oc have learnt to fight in numbers and they do so rathe organized because the underworld is a rather unforgiving place. However they wouldn't care to attack ogres because ogres have nothing worth to attack for. But you can easily guess what will happen to ogres who happen to inhabit a cave entrance to the Gob-OC realm...


these are all detailsbut I found them a bit disturbing...

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