* 
Welcome Guest. Please login or register.
Did you miss your activation email?


*
gfxgfx Home Forum Help Search Login Register   gfxgfx
gfx gfx
gfx
Pages: [1] 2 3
Print
Author Topic: Tiraelhon  (Read 9149 times)
0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.
Lady Tiaa
Santh. Member
***

Gained Aura: 0
Offline Offline

Posts: 77


View Profile
« on: 14 November 2003, 01:35:00 »

Overview The Tiraelhon, (humans call them "Sand Elves") is a tribe of elves that reside in the Sands of Maechalan on the continent Aeruillin, and can often be seen visiting the port city Shan' Furionnis, and the cities in Thylascuran. They seem very savage compared to most elves, and they have completely forgotten the High Goddess Avá and worship their own set of gods. The reason for this is that they felt forsaken by Avá when she let them wander about in the wilderness. The gods that they worship are called the Dietrae and the Airae, and they are the forces of nature and aspects of the mind that affect the Tiraelhon's daily life. Although they seem mysterious their culture is very rich and well developed. The Tiraelhon are also well known for their sour terirais, a lemon-type fruit, which grow best near the Sea of Tardulan.

Appearance Tiraelhon are very serious looking and are perhaps the most unique elves. They are short, and thin with very sharply pointed ears. But instead of having only the top pointed, the bottom is also pointed and hangs down rather long. Their ears are pierced in both sexes in the outer ear along the lobe. They have their ears pierced for every one hundred-fiftieth year of being alive. They have developed a very good metabolism and can eat most foods without becoming ill. It is believed that this is due to their strenuous lifestyle but that has not been confirmed.

The Tiraelhon wear their age like a badge of pride. You can always tell the Elders from the youngsters, because as the Tiraelhon get older their skin darkens and their hair becomes a dark tint of gray. By the time any Tiraelhon reaches the limits of life at 700 years they have become very crisp and brown. The Tiraelhon are usually 1.7 peds in height and weigh slightly less than 1 pygge. Tiraelhon arms are very long propotionally and give them an almost barbarian look.

The Tiraelhon skin color is very dark, almost a brown or bronze color. It varies, depending upon the job of the elf, those that often work outside of the "dune homes" have dark brown skin, and those that are often inside have bronze skins. Hair color varies between ages, the younger elves have white hair that is often short, and a bit curled and the Elders have dark gray hair, which often becomes a lot more straight over time.

The Tiraelhon can be kind and caring to their own, but when working in their environment they are often very serious and focused. They form tight family bonds and care for their young and their elderly with such passion and tenderness. Tiraelhon are not shy and will always welcome visitors as long as they leave their weapons at the small passage storage room in every settlement except for Shylom' an. The Tiraelhon enjoy exploring, they often travel by sea to various places, but never stray too far from Aeruillin. A few have been seen as far north as the Thaelon, although they were mistaken for dark elves and chased out of the forest. The Tiraelhon don't like to fight other races with weapons, but if they feel that the threat is great enough they will. But then the Tiraelhon train every member how to use an axe to fight. This is because they fear that what happened during the Dark Days may occur again, and they want to be prepared. They also manufacture a few weapons using the animal products that they hunt for.

They have few facial expressions, because they seldom know how to actually show how they are feeling on their appearance. They can express it through actions and words. The Tiraelhon can seem very boring to one who merely passes through their lands without staying long. Their smiles are not very pleasant as the Tiraelhon often have sharp, rugged teeth and brown lips.

The Tiraelhon are very good listeners. Their minds never tire from listening to another's story or tale about even the tiniest things. Thus they have developed great memories that allow them to reach far back into their life and pull out events from their childhood.

Coat of Arms The Tiraelhon do not have a coat of arms, because they seldom see a battle. They do however have a symbol, which is a pendant that every Tiraelhon must wear. It is a circle made of stone with the carving of the word "always" or everlasting " ó' ". It represents that unity that the Tiraelhon have with one another and how unbreakable those bonds are.

Territory The Tiraelhon live in the Sands of Maechalan. This area was named after the goddess Maecha, who is the keeper of the sands and the giver of memories and destiny. They never make any permanent living areas out of the sparse land's boundaries. And although resources do not overwhelm them, they get what they need whether it be by trading or hunting. The name Sands can be very deceiving and they often make travelers believe that it is just a huge desert but it is not. The Tiraelhon have two major water sources, the Sea of Tardulan to the West and The Theranian Sea to the North. The Sea of Tardulan is often used for irrigation purposes, and the Theranian Sea is best used to gather salt, for fishing, or as transportation to many of the port cities in Southeastern Aeruillin. The Sands of Maechalan have a wide variety of animals that have been adapted to suit their environment, for example the earth eater, the largest known species of clam has been seen all over Aeruillin, although it originated within the Sands. There is a steady supply of flora as well, the Sands are a natural savannah and provide native plants with resemblances to corn, rice, wheat and berries.

They have seven major settlements. Their settlements are not very important to other races, but they are to the Tiraelhon.  About one hundred-fifty Tiraelhon reside in the less prominent cities, and four hundred residing in Nousais. The most important being Nousais, which lies in the heart of the Sands of Maechalan. It is a very difficult place to get to, and even when the majority of the tribe is traveling to a new home, at least two hundred-fifty Tiraelhon remain in Nousais. It is the home to the Temple of Sands, the only temple in the area that shows a painting of Nous standing back to back with the High Goddess Avá.  The second largest city is Shylom' an. It is the major cultivation and domestication city for the Tiraelhon, and it is also the only city that allows people of other races to pass through the city without leaving their weapons at a designated area.

Next is Icropan, it is most notable for the highest population of earth eaters. Therefore, many are fearful when they reach the settlement’s edge and they often sprint across the dry grass. Icropan holds the Tent of Tears, which the Tiraelhon call "Malnaec Tiravá". It is the place where the scholar Mirae supposedly saw Icropio and Shyloma holding each other and crying after the Dietrae became savage killers during the Dark Days.

People The Tiraelhon are quite philosophic and bring meaning out of everything as can be seen in their religion. The tribe was once known for traveling throughout the region of Aeruillin from the Plain of the Dead to the Dunes of Thiva, and they would write down the history of the places and the people they have visited. But due to recent droughts, and past wars these documents have been lost in the sands of time.

The Sand Elves are very keen and take note of almost everything. Their attention is easily obtained and once it is obtained they will keep an eye on you for as long as they see fit. The Tiraelhon have a rather sour outlook upon all of the Aviariá, except for Seyella who they have taken and recreated her as their own goddess Maecha. They are very devout to their gods, and although they do not worship Avá, they believe their gods to be her children of sorts.

These elves have extraordinary accuracy, and they are great wielders of throwing axes. The Sands of Maechalan have a few mountainous parts that provide them with iron ore, copper, and bronze mines. They are also skilled at killing earth eaters, by using throwing axes made of bronze that can crack the shells after repeated blows. The armor of the clam can then be used to mold with iron ore and make a very durable armor, which the Tiraelhon sell and use only for major battles. The Tiraelhon have been known to also possess great upper arm strength and back strength and can hit an opponent from a pen away (equal to 5 peds).

The Tiraelhon were the first tribe in Aeruillin to make glasses, but it is believed that the gnomes made it before they did. This is a debate that often becomes very tense between scholars and historians. Many of the gnomes believe that the Tiraelhon stole their idea when the Tiraelhon god Fetra, wanted to give his people a special discovery. He traveled across the sea to find that the Gnomes were creating something special. He envied that and took it to his own people, where he created the Daz Muriso, the volcano that sits in the southeast portion of the Sands of Maechalan.

The Tiraelhon take the material to make glass form the volcanic debris and bring it to their blacksmiths, which are short in number. The material is neither a solid nor a liquid but exists in a glassy state. The glass is cooled to a rigid state and it is then set out to cool off. Once it is cool they can begin carving it and can make the glasses or other items. The glass is often found in a few other colors such as light blues, greens, and browns depending on the raw material. If the material has an impurity than the glass will be a different color than white.

Housing These elves that have chosen the Sands of Maechalan, live in extended family tents in a settlement, with guarded walls of stone and clay. These tents are made from the hides of the Hirafan, a sluggish plated beast that eats the shrubs of the desert. The tents are often very large and can hold up to thirty Tiraelhon at one time. Since the Tiraelhon only stay in one place for one hundred-fifty years, everything they own is movable. The Tiraelhon have a tradition that they will never stay in one place for longer than the amount of years stated above. This is because Terira, the Goddess of Nature and Curiosity, promised to provide resources for the Tiraelhon as long as they reside in the Sands of Maechalan. They want to prove to everyone who doubts their Airae and Dietrae that no matter where they travel to in their territory they will always be cared for. They travel between the same seven settlements, and not all of the Tiraelhon take part in this travel. Some remain at the cities to protect it from bandits, or other things.

The tents are not all the same size; it depends upon the rank of the Tiraelhon. If the Tiraelhon is an Prán then their home can hold about thirty-forty, and if they are a simple gatherer their tents will hold a bit less than eight. The tents are covered by a thin blanket woven from strips of grass, painted with the dye from the Terirais berry.

They do however, have settlements. They have seven of them, and the settlements are each surrounded by tall walls, made of stone, and clay. The inside of the settlement is mostly movable, save for the small temples, storage buildings, and other small buildings, like watchtowers at every corner of the settlement.

Clothing The Tiraelhon prefer to wear long, very thin, light grey claoks, with shirts underneath, in layers that only cover all of their bodies. The cloaks can be easily taken off by pulling them above the head. The Tiraelhon, if not wearing the cloaks, will wear grey skirts for both men and women, but the tops vary. The skirts all have black dye at the bottom of them. The women usually wear their skirts down to their calves, where as the men usually wear them down to their thighs or knees.

The men will wear a sleeveless-shirt with the bottom of the shirt dyed black, plus white or dark grey turbans. The grey shirts have a pocket right above the belt. Both men and women wear belts with which they always carry their axes. They hardly use them unless they are attacked. Accessories are not a big thing, a Tiraelhon can usually be found with their symbol hanging around their neck, and they all have their ears pierced and wear bronze earrings.

But during festivals black is the required color for all. While battling anyone or anything the Tiraelhon wear black as well.

Food The Tiraelhon find a variety of foods in the Sands of Maechalan. Almost everything they kill will be edible, thanks to their metabolism and their resistance to illnesses. The Tiraelhon eat the following plants:

-Maelon- The Maelon is the Aeruillin version of corn. It grows slowly in the harsh climate but when it does finally grow it is a beautiful sight, as the maelon covers the irrigation ditches near the Tiraelhon camps. This corn has very little juice and it has a very thick outer layer of skin.

-Terirais- It is believed that when the first group of unhappy Aeolrhans left Shan' Furionnis that Terira, the Goddess of Curiosity blessed the elves with their first important fruit. It was named the Terirais, and it is a shrub that produces berries that gives spice to many foods. Its leaves can be used to wrap foods and provide flavor while they are boiling and the berries can be used for both food, dye, and flavoring.

-Poprais- the poprais is very much like the wheat grown in Southern Sarvonia and Nyblemar.  It can be used to make any number of food items, including breads, biscuits, and cakes. It can only be grown on the fertile shores of the Sea of Tardulan, which is why the Tiraelhon have various campsites along the southeastern coast of the sea.

-Prickling Pango Cactus- a green cactus with red fruit. These delicious red fruits are completely edible in all parts, both leaves and actual fruit. It has very few visible needles, but some smaller ones that can make the hands itch and are very hard to remove.

Here are the animals that the Tiraelhon can eat and hunt, to use for shelters, weapons, clothing, and other byproducts:

-Sigad- this is the average desert lizard. It usually comes in a brown, or black color and is very fast. It eats the eggs of the sand shatí, and the avásh veván. It can be found all over Aeruillin.

-Hirafan- this is a sluggish, heavy animal with very thick skin that is worn like plated armor. It eats many of the shrubs and dry grass that can be found in Aeruillin, and have been known to dig into a few cactus to get water. The Tiraelhon can herd these but many prefer to hunt these. They can use their fat and skin for various products.

-Sand Shatí- these are small owls that live in the giant cactus and prey upon most animals of the Sands of Maechalan. The feathers have often been used to make ornaments or for other decorative purposes.

-Earth Eater- this is a large dislike creature is an actual clam that has come from the sea and crawled onto the land choosing its home deep in the sands. It has a huge gaping mouth and sharp teeth that can be used to make sharp daggers. It is large enough to swallow two Tiraelhon whole. The earth eater has heavy, durable skin that is difficult to penetrate. It pushes itself out of the dirt by using a sharp powerful tail and opens its mouth allowing the earth to pour in. The sand is later expelled through the use of a hole in its rectum.

-Avásh Veván- the avásh veván is the fastest land mammal in all of Aeruillin. It is found over most of southeastern Aeruillin and also in the west and north.

Weapons The Tiraelhon specialize in the use of throwing axes. Their axes are made from the tail fins of the earth eaters and the handle is made from the hide of the Hirafan. Although the Tiraelhon train, they pray that they will never have to use their weapons. These elves also use small daggers to allow them to cut and skin animals and to fight in close quarters. The daggers are often made from stone covered with a thin layer of armor.

Occupations Occupations vary between the elves. The Tiraelhon go in different classes from Prán (literal translation means "the Heath", but in this case it is referring to the few Elders.) to the Vaí (meaning sight). The Prán are the oldest members of the tribe, and each one represents one of the Airae. The Airae are the ultimate forces behind Tiraelhon religion, they do not interact with the other Dietrae, but they hold power over them. The Airae are Nous, the teller of tales, Icropio, the sender of Chaos, Shyloma, the seer of the Void, Novai, keeper of the Depth, Laecha, the master of time, and Damara, the daughter of Nous and the keeper of secrets and the giver of peace. Each Airae chooses an honorable Tiraelhon that best suites their personality and uses the elf as its vessel. The elf receives messages and visions from their Airae and they are the leaders of the Tiraelhon.

Aira, they are the actual clerics, they do not have a one on one connection with the Airae, but they do have that connection with the Dietrae. They can cast various spells concerning the Dietrae that they serve, and they are bound to serve only one of the Dietrae.

The Tirave are the caretakers, their job is to take care of both the newborn children and the Prán. As the Prán reach old age they start to go blind and need help getting around. The Tirave can only be women, and can only be the women that are barren, or have never had children.

The Soorán are the Tiraelhon form of merchants. They travel around southern and eastern Aeruillin and trade items with the other tribes and cities. They travel on foot, always on foot, and carry no more than three woven bags with them at a time. The reason they travel on foot is so that they can get a feel for the lands they are traveling and they will know how much of a struggle it will be for the other Tiraelhon to get to the lands.

The Téth are the hunters for the group. They travel around the Sands of Maechalan and hunt for food and then deliver it to the Sánis to be cleaned and gutted, and then prepared to eat. The Téth can only be male, and must be skilled in accuracy and the use of a throwing axe.

The Maré, it is relative to the Styrásh word for water, but it actually means "bringer of moisture" to the Tiraelhon. The Maré are the few elves that go down to the irrigation ditches and gather the crops that the farmers have prepared and they also gather the water. They often live with the farmers on the shores of the seas and near the irrigation ditches.

Féarir, these are the farmers, they grow the crops and make sure that they are ripe and fresh. They often live far away from many Tiraelhon campsites and have to travel distances to visit family and friends.

Sánis are the ones that receive the food from the Féarir, and the Téth. It is their responsibility to clean and cook the food if they are having a feast or community festival. They must also send it to the Soorán to turn into items and to sell. They will distribute the cleaned food to the lady of each family house and she prepares it for her own family.

Vaí are the ones that scan the Sands of Maechalan for a potential place to live. They travel in groups of three to four and carry jugs of water, and baskets of food, mainly the dried skins of lizards. When they believe they have found a resting place they pray to Pagoro, the blind, God of intellect and reasoning, to allow them to be able to make a firm decision about whether they should use this spot again or not. They then place the lizard skins on the area in front of them, covering only the space right in front of their feet and then they return to their homes.

Government
As stated before, the Prán, who are the six elders that have been given great insight by the Airae, rule the Tiraelhon. The Prán live in one of the seven cities and each Prán takes the name of their Airae before their actual name. As of 1663  the Práns are Prán Nous Lestvá, Prán Icropio Jiviel, Prán Shyloma Maela, Prán Nova Opri, Prán Damara Dyhist, and Prán Laecha Monrán. Except for Prán Damara Dyhist, each Prán lives in the city named after their Airae. Prán Damara Dyhist lives in the city of Maechen. The Prán decide everything for the Tiraelhon, they receive messages from the Airae on how to best govern the people.

Under the Prán are the family houses. There are usually about 12 family houses in each village. The male head represents each house in a village. The male is the one who speaks with the Prán and presents the wishes and needs of his family. The Prán will then seek the council of the Airae and when they emerge they will have made a decision. Each Prán rules their own city and they do not usually come together to make decisions unless it is something that will affect the Tiraelhon as a whole.

The Prán have established a few rules, one of those stated that if the Prán convicts a Tiraelhon of a crime they are either fined or declared an outlaw. If they were declared an outlaw they will have to live out in the Plain of the Dead for the remainder of their lives. The Prán have also established a law that says that there is no law against stealing from the enemy after they have stolen from you, as long as they are not of Tiraelhon blood and do not live within the Sands of Maechalan.

Women
The Tiraelhon often live in large family groups. Children, parents, and grandparents can often be found living together. When the eldest son takes over the family belongings, he becomes the head of the family and is responsible for the well being of them all. He has to speak with the Prán of his city in order to assign occupations to each family member and unless he is a Prán he too has to work. His wife, the lady of the household, has to see to it that the food lasts during the hot desert months. It is her duty to know how to cook and to share the receipts with her daughters and possibly even her sons. She is also expected to know about herbs for making medicines and to care for the sick and wounded. If the husband is a  Féarir (farmer) then the wife also has the responsibility of caring for the hirafa, the small cow-like beast that inhabits southern Aeruillin.

Marriage
Girls are available for marriage at the age of 95. They are expected to know how to run a household at that time, should her husband fall ill. It is not unusual to see the older Tiraelhon, especially the Tirave come and help the young elf. The marriage is agreed upon between families and can often be regarded as an alliance between the families, although this is often a dismissed thought as most Tiraelhon are very close. If the daughter wants to marry a Tiraelhon that her parents have not chosen for her, it is possible that she may get that desire. She must present the male to her family and then he must prove to them that he is worthy of their daughter. Discussing his job, his family history, his future plans, his possessions, or how he loves the daughter is usually how this is done.

Divorce
The woman does not fully become a part of her husband’s family when she is married. She continues to be a part of her own family and if her husband mistreats her and her children, which is extremely rare, or if he is too lazy to be a good provider or if he insults her family, she can divorce him. To do that she must go to the Prán of her city, bringing her father, her husband, and his father. In front of these people she declares herself divorced from her husband. She must then go to her family tent and do the same and then go to his family tent.

The young children, if any, will stay with the mother after the divorce. The bigger children can be divided between the parents according to the wealth and status of the two families. If the former wife has her own property and a great inheritance she had a higher chance of gaining the children than her husband.

The same can be applied to males. If the male partner does not feel that the woman is not fulfilling her duties as a wife. Or if she is bringing shame to his family, he can go to the Prán of his city bringing his father, his wife and her father.

Production/Trade
The Tiraelhon trade with fabrics, and textiles with the Aeolrhan, and they trade weaponry and glasses, plus food and fresh water with the Sor'inyt. Since the Sor'inyt are only female the Tiraelhon will only send female elves to the Plain of the Dead, and to the Plain of Col’Paehjaar never allowing the Sor'inyt to come into the Tiraelhon lands because they fear that they will kill all of their males.  

Natural Resources
The Sands of Maechalan provide the Tiraelhon with a few needed resources. They receive water from the Sea of Tardulan and The Theranian Sea, they are not proficient fishers, but a few have been seen trying. They can find food, both plant and meat within the desert, although many of the plants have add spice or sourness to a meal. They can find oils, glass, iron ore mines, copper mines, and a few salt mines near the Raquan Mountains to the northeast, near the coast of The Theranian Sea.

Religion The Tiraelhon have 18 gods, each representing a different aspect of the world. ((See history for the creation of their gods)). The Airae are the head gods of the Tiraelhon, they do not bicker as the lesser gods do and they do not speak to the Tiraelhon as the others do. The only ones that they speak to are the Prán. They are the base of the Tiraelhon religion and have such importance that without them the other gods would crumble and fight until their death as was shown in the Myth of Dark Days.

The Dietrae are very mortal, in that they are often overwhelmed by lust and other emotions. The Airae are an exception, they are not affected by any emotion other than compassion. The three most important Airae are Nous (Knowledge), Icropio (Chaos), and Shyloma (The Void). The others are Novai (Death), Laecha (Life), and Damara (Peace).

The Dietrae are Phemlu (Order), Pragoro (Reason), Arete (Consent), Fetra (Inspiration), Tipesto (Rebellion and Lust), Terira (Nature), Muerkon (Pain), Cerub (Betrayal), Maecha (Memory), Nemypeds (Innocence), Circinae (Light and Passion), Lilur, Sóirn, Syli (Forgiveness), Raqua (Darkness and Fear), Lalian (Scorn), Vevelorén (Hate), and the Sýsián Sisters (Truth).

All of the Dietrae are always drawn with long white hair, but the Airae, the higher class of gods, have hairstyles that vary.

Holidays, Festivals and Observances
Ae'llánámn- (Can be translated to mean "joyful gathering"), this is the celebration where the Tiraelhon dance and sing to the Dietrae and thank them for allowing them to survive after all these years. This takes places three times a year, the 5th day of Smól'evathón (Month of the Molten Ice), Dál'injerá (Month of the Rising Sun) and Coór'pherán (Month of the Dead Tree). It takes place on the fifth day of these months because those are the days that the Tiraelhon believed that the Airae restored the Dietrae to power.

Amncínancianá- (Tharian for "powerful silence"), this is a holiday where no Tiraelhon speaks for an entire day in honor of Circinae. This can also be a daily ritual for marriages that are stressed and need the Circinae to show her light. This comes on the 14th day of Méh'avashín (Month of the Changing Winds). If one is to speak on this day they will be cast out into the Plain of the Dead for a day and a half.

Claéhínól- (oddly translated into Tharian as "peaceful dagger")this is the three-week festival that celebrates the joining of the Avánhon to the Tiraelhon, it lasts from the 12th of Chúh'querín (Month of the Fallen Leaf), to the 3rd of Salarí'herín (Month of the Passing Clouds). It lasts for that long because that is the amount of time that it took for all the Avánhon to relinquish their weapons and become a part of the Tiraelhon society.

History All Taken From the Book of Many Paths, written by Prán Nous Levánári.

Before the birth of the Aeolrhan and the Tiraelhon, there was the Maeverhim tribe in Sarvonia. The Maeverhim split and a small group, now the Aeolrhan continued on past the Sharadon and took a ship to Aeruillin. There reasons for doing so are clouded in rumors and history. Most of which have been forgotten. When they arrived in the city of Shan' Furionnis, they began to forget the High Goddess and the Twelve Gods, and began to worship fae gods, but a small group kept that faith alive. They became what is now known as the Tiraelhon.

Due to the strict and angry voices of the Aeolrhan, the man named Tirae gathered his family, and friends and moved south to find their own religious freedom. They were little in number but their faith in Avá kept them going strong. When they had spent forty-nine years in the Plain of Col' Paehjaar, they began to feel forsaken and forgotten by Avá. They were pursued by the Sor'inyt because they had invaded their lands, and they were running short on food and water. They felt as though Avá had abandoned them because they were becoming ill and many were dying.

When they reached the Sands of Maechalan, they stopped and began to weep. The Sands were a barren place and it did not approve to the tastes of the former Aeolrhan. By now these elves had grown in number and had darker skin tones and their appearance had slightly changed. Tirae's wife, Malan, threw down her bags and prayed to anyone that would hear her cry.

The loving arms of the Dietrae Pragoro answered her cry, he told them that the Sands of Maechalan were their promised homes and that this is where they belonged. Later that day it rained over the Sands for seven days straight, during that time the elves, now called the Tiraelhon, had been supposedly visited by 18 beings, each claiming to be a god and 16 of the gods blessed them with a plant, an animal, a resource, a water source, or an idea for a creation. The Tiraelhon rejoiced and danced for seven days after the rain.

Edited by: Artimidor Federkiel at: 2/8/04 9:38
Logged
Artemis
Santh. Member
***

Gained Aura: 2
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 883



View Profile
« Reply #1 on: 17 November 2003, 04:39:00 »

Woah!!!

Slow down. What you have so far is fantastic, but you've overlooked one major factor...

We already have a tribe in the Ysthalinth!!!

I suggest you look at the Azhorhria entry which is here -

www.santharia.com/tribes/...orhria.htm

Maybe Arti will see it differently, but I really son't see how we could have two tribes in the desert. Especially if this tribe is so barbarian - if they happen to see a group of Azhorhria going by then it could start a major war. Even though the desert is so big, would it have enough resources to allow two large tribes to stay there? It is a desert afterall - look at the Sahara, it's one of the biggest places imaginable, and I don't think many people live there!

So - it doesn't mean give up on these. Maybe we should see what Arti thinks. If he agrees with me then all they need is relocation.

Anyway, if you want help with these, i.e. any details regarding Aeruillin in general (and if needed places they can be relocated to), post in the Aeruillin forum, as Aeruillin is still very big and empty, but I've been trying to fill it, so I guess I have the most knowledge on it. In a way.

:D   :D   :D    

To Have Flown With The Phoenix, Is To Have Lived Your Dreams...

Edited by: Artemis at: 11/16/03 11:42
Logged
Artimidor Federkiel
Administrator
*****

Gained Aura: 538
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 23.091



View Profile Homepage
« Reply #2 on: 17 November 2003, 14:19:00 »

Ah yes... I general it is adviseable to first discuss what major things you're planning before you start, Tiaa, especially if you want to do a tribe. This organizational discussion usually takes place in the appropriate continent Forum, e.g. Southern Sarvonia, Northern Sarvonia, Aeruillin, Nybelmar. It is recommended to give a rough outline there what you plan and receive comments on it and finally an ok to get started.

In Aeruillin we also have the problem that we don't have a clear map yet, which would tell us where which tribes live already. I would suggest that you try to sketch this a bit, Artemis, in case you have time. Just draw the rough lines on the map with a paint program and add the tribe names. This should make things much more transparent.

Ok, aside from that I think your desciption so far is very original and good to read, so just continue on:D  But as Artemis is currently the one and only Aeruillin expert, you should indeed check with her first, where this tribe would fit best in order not to contradict existing concepts. I'm sure you both can come to an agreement, where we could place it best;)  


The Santharian Dream Webmaster - Let Fantasy Dreams come true!
World Development Admin - The Forum where Worlds are born...

Logged



"Between the mind that plans and the hands that build there must be a mediator, and this must be the heart." -- Maria (Metropolis)
Lady Tiaa
Santh. Member
***

Gained Aura: 0
Offline Offline

Posts: 77


View Profile
« Reply #3 on: 19 November 2003, 06:28:00 »

Okay, I will post in the Aeruillin forum about this, but I think it would be fun to have two tribes in the same desert and that way we could show some tension and battles between the two...

Logged
Lady Tiaa
Santh. Member
***

Gained Aura: 0
Offline Offline

Posts: 77


View Profile
« Reply #4 on: 22 November 2003, 04:26:00 »

:pet :p et:pet :p et:pet :p et:pet Okay, I have fixed it an now I am just really waiting for someone to check it! :pet :p et:pet :p et

Logged
Artemis
Santh. Member
***

Gained Aura: 2
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 883



View Profile
« Reply #5 on: 22 November 2003, 04:48:00 »

OK - My comments are in fuschia!!!

Overview - The Tiraelhon, (humans call them "Sand Elves") is a tribe of elves that reside in the Sands of Maechalan, and can often be seen visiting the port city Shan' Furionnis, and the cities in Thylascuran. They seem very savage compared to most elves, and they have completed forgotten the High Goddess Avá and worship their own set of gods. The reason for this is that they felt forsaken by Avá when she let them wander about in the wilderness. The gods that they worship are called the Dietrae, and they are basically (isn't there a better word you can use here - basically seems really out of style for this piece. Maybe I'm being fussy, but I think the sentence could be better!) the forces of nature and the mind that affect the Tiraelhon's daily life. Although they seem savage their culture is very rich and well developed. The Tiraelhon are also well known for their sour Terirais, which grow best near the Sea of Tardulan.

Appearance - Tiraelhon are very serious looking and are perhaps the least beautiful of the elves. They are short, and thin with very sharply pointed ears. But instead of having only the top pointed, the bottom is also pointed and hangs down rather long. Their ears are pierced in both sexes in the outer ear along the lobe. They have their ears pierced for every 150th (words look better than numbers!) year of being alive. They have developed a very good metabolism and can eat most foods without becoming ill. It is believed that this is due to their strenuous lifestyle but that has not been confirmed.

The Tiraelhon wear their age like a badge of pride. You can always tell the Elders from the youngsters, because as the Tiraelhon get older their skin darkens and their hair becomes a dark tint of gray. The Tiraelhon are usually 1.3 peds in height and weigh slightly less than 1 pygge. Tiraelhon arms are very long propotionally and give them an almost barbarian look.

The Tiraelhon skin color is very dark, almost a brown or bronze color. It varies, depending upon the job of the elf, those that often work outside of the "dune homes" have dark brown skin, and those that are often inside have bronze skins. Hair color varies between ages, the younger elves have white hair that is often short, and the Elders have dark gray hair, which often becomes straight (why? Is it curly to begin with? - you haven't said that if so!) over time. All of the Dietrae are always drawn with long white hair, but the Airae hairstyles vary.

The Tiraelhon can be kind and caring at times, but due to their environment they are often very serious and focused. They form tight family bonds and care for their young and their elderly with such passion and tenderness. Tiraelhon are not shy and will always welcome visitors as long as they leave their weapons at the small passage called "Tara's Edge". The Tiraelhon enjoy exploring, they often travel by sea to various places, but never stray too far from Aeruillin. A few have been seen as far north as the Thaelon, although they were mistaken for dark elves and chased out of the forest. The Tiraelhon do not believe in fighting using any made weapons, unless the odds are truly stacked against you. But then the Tiraelhon train every member how to use an axe to fight (If they don't believe in fighting using weapons, then why bother with this? It needs to be explained). They also manufacture a few weapons using the animal products that they hunt for.

They have few facial expressions, because they seldom feel any emotion (But you just said that they can be kind and tender. Perhaps you could rephrase this - i.e. .. because they rarely show their emotions in an outward state or something similar). They can seem very boring to one who merely passes through the lands without staying long. The Tiraelhon often have a solemn look of sadness on their face, or an upset look. Their smiles are not very pleasant as the Tiraelhon often have sharp, rugged teeth and dry cracking lips.

The Tiraelhon are very good listeners. Their minds never tire from listening to another's story or tale about even the tiniest things. Thus they have developed great memories that allow them to reach far back into their life and pull out childhood memories. (You used memories twice in that sentence! One should be removed if possible.)

Coat of Arms - The Tiraelhon do not have a coat of arms, because they seldom see a battle. They do however have a symbol, which is a pendant that every Tiraelhon must where. It is a circle made of stone with the carving of the word always, or everlasting " ó' ". It represents that unity that the Tiraelhon have with one another and how unbreakable those bonds are.

Territory - The Tiraelhon live in the Sands of Maechalan. This area was named after the goddess Maecha, who is the keeper of the sands and the giver of memories and destiny. They never make any permanent living areas out of the sparse land's boundaries. And although resources do not overwhelm them, they get what they need whether it be by trading or hunting. They have two major water sources, the Sea of Tardulan to the West and The Theranian Sea. The Sea of Tardulan is often used for irrigation purposes, and the Theranian Sea is best used to gather salt or for fishing. The Sands of Maechalan have a wide variety of animals that have been adapted to suit their environment, for example the Earth Clam, the largest known species of clam has been seen all over Aeruillin, although it originated within the Sands. There is a steady supply of flora as well, the Sands are a natural savannah and provide a sort of corn, rice, wheat and a spicy berry.

They have seven major cities, the most important being Nousais, which lies in the heart of the Sands of Maechalan. It is a very difficult place to get to, and even when the majority of the tribe is traveling to a new home, at least 250 Tiraelhon remain in Nousais. It is the home to the Temple of Sands, the only temple in the area that shows a painting of Nous standing back to back with the High Goddess Avá. The second largest city is Shylom' an. It is the major cultivation and domestication city for the Tiraelhon, and it is also the only city that allows people of other races to pass through the city without leaving their weapons at a designated area.

Next is Icropan, it is most notable for the highest population of Earth Clams. Therefore, many are fearful when they reach the city's edge and they often sprint across the dry grass. Icropan holds the Temple of Tears, which the Tiraelhon call "Malnaec Tiravá". It is the place where the scholar Mirae supposedly saw Icropio and Shyloma holding each other and crying after the Dark Days.

(Hmmm... SEVEN cities in this desert area? I don't think that's possible. Perhaps I'm being mean. But the main cities of Aeruillin are marked on the original map that Arti made - You could have seven major dessert settlements, but not cities (although having them in the past is OK, as long as it is clear that they were part of myth, even if the myth is true) As I said I may be being unreasonable - we can see what other people think.)

People - The Tiraelhon are often seen as barbaric due to the fact that they seem to have no real society (How do you mean? They seem to have a pretty good society to me!!!). In fact these elves are quite philosophic and bring meaning out of everything as can be seen in their religion. The tribe was once known for traveling throughout the region of Aeruillin from the Plain of the Dead to the Dunes of Thiva, and they would write down the history of the places and the people they have visited. But due to recent droughts, and past wars these documents have been lost in the sands of time.

The Sand Elves are very keen and take note of almost everything. Their attention is easily obtained and once it is obtained they will keep an eye on your for as long as they see fit (Ah good!!! Like their Aeolrhan ancestors!!! If this was unitentional then hey! It's good!!!). The Tiraelhon have a rather sour outlook upon all of the Aviariá, except for Seyella who they have taken and recreated her as their own goddess Maecha. They are very devout to their gods, and although they do not worship Avá, they believe their gods to be her children of sorts.

These elves have extraordinary accuracy, and they are great wielders (wielders of what? Or am I just being thick here?). The Sands of Maechalan have a few mountainous parts that provide them with iron ore, copper, and bronze mines. They are also skilled at killing Earth Clams, by using throwing axes made of bronze that can crack the shells after repeated blows. The armor of the clam can then be used to mold with iron ore and make a very durable armor, which the Tiraelhon sell and use only for major battles. The Tiraelhon have been known to also possess great upper arm strength and back strength and can hit an opponent from a pen away (equal to 5 peds).

The Tiraelhon were the first tribe in Aeruillin to make glasses, but it is believed that the gnomes made it before they did. This is a debate that often becomes very tense between scholars and historians. Many of the gnomes believe that the Tiraelhon stole their idea when the Tiraelhon god Fetra, wanted to give his people a special discovery. He traveled across the sea to find that the Gnomes were creating something special. He envied that and took it to his own people, where he created the Daz Muriso, the volcano that sit in the southeast portion of the Sands of Maechalan. The Tiraelhon take the material to make glass form the volcanic debris and bring it to their blacksmiths, which are short in number. The material is neither a solid nor a liquid but exists in a glassy state. The glass is cooled to a rigid state and it is then set out to cool off. Once it is cool they can begin carving it and can make the glasses or other items. The glass is often found in a few other colors such as light blues, greens, and browns depending on the raw material. If the material has an impurity than the glass will be a different color than white. (I will go into detail about the glass making process in another post) <--- (Don't forget about this then!!!)


Housing These elves that have chosen the Sands of Maechalan, live in extended family tents. These tents are made from the hides of the Hirafan, a sluggish plated beast that eats the shrubs of the desert. The tents are often very large and can hold up to 25 Tiraelhon at one time. Since the Tiraelhon only stay in one place for 50 years (again, words look better than numbers), everything they own is movable. The Tiraelhon have a tradition that they will never stay in one place for longer than 50 years. This is because of the myth of the Seven Sands, which talks about the god Tabror and how he promised to provide for the Tiraelhon as long as they reside in the Sands. They want to prove to everyone that no matter where they travel to in their territory they will only be cared for. They travel between the same seven campsites, and not all of the Tiraelhon take part in this travel. Some remain at the campsite to protect it from bandits, or other things.

The tents are not all the same size; it depends upon the rank of the Tiraelhon. If the Tiraelhon is an Elder than their home can hold about 30, and if they are a simple gatherer their tents will hold a bit less than 8. The tents are covered by a thin blanket woven from strips of grass, painted with the dye from the Terirais berry.

They do however, have cities. They have seven of them, and the cities are each surrounded by a tall wall, made of stone, and clay. The inside of the city is mostly movable, save for the temples, storage buildings, and other small buildings, like watchtowers at every corner of the city.

(Again, seven cities in a fairly barren desert will have to be discussed.)

Clothing The Tiraelhon prefer to wear long, very thin, black robes that only cover one shoulder and wraps around their bodies. The cloaks can be easily taken off by pulling them above the head, and many Tiraelhon have even been seen wandering around the Sands of Maechalan naked, but only when in the vicinity of their tents (Just remember - Aeruillin is pretty hot, they must be pretty hardy if they don't feel they have to wear clothes when the sun is beating down upon them - and think about how hot the sand will become!!!). The Tiraelhon, if not wearing the cloaks, will wear brown skirts for both men and women, but the tops vary. The skirts all have black dye at the bottom of them. The women usually wear their skirts down to their calves, where as the men usually wear them down to their thighs or knees.

The men will wear a sleeveless-shirt with the bottom of the shirt dyed black. The brown shirts have a pocket right above the belt. Both men and women wear belts with which they always carry their axes. They hardly use them unless they are attacked. Accessories are not a big thing, a Tiraelhon can usually be found with the coat of arms symbol hanging around their neck, and they all have their ears pierced and wear bronze earrings.

Food The Tiraelhon find a variety of foods in the Sands of Maechalan. Almost everything they kill will be edible, thanks to their metabolism and their resistance to illnesses. The Tiraelhon eat the following plants:

-Desert Corn- The Desert Corn is the Aeruillin version of corn. It grows slowly in the harsh climate but when it does finally grow it is a beautiful sight, as the desert corn covers the irrigation ditches near the Tiraelhon camps.

-Terirais- It is believed that when the first group of unhappy Aeolrhan's left Shan' Furionnis that Terira, the goddess of curiosity, bounty, and courage blessed the elves with their first important fruit. It was named the Terirais, and it is a shrub that produces berries that give adds spice to many foods. Its leaves can be used to wrap foods and provide flavor while they are boiling and the berries can be used for both food, dye, and flavoring.

-Desert Wheat- this wheat is very much like the wheat grown in Southern Sarvonia and Nyblemar. It can be used to make any number of food items, including breads, biscuits, and cakes. It can only be grown on the fertile shores of the Sea of Tardulan, which is why the Tiraelhon have various campsites along the southeastern coast of the sea.

(Perhaps you could give the desert corn and wheat it's own special Aeruillin name.)

-Prickling Pango Cactus- a green cactus with red fruit. These delicious red fruits are completely edible in all parts, both leaves and actual fruit. It has very few visible needles, but some smaller ones that can make the hands itch and are very hard to remove.

Here are the animals that the Tiraelhon can eat and hunt, to use for shelters, weapons, clothing, and other byproducts:

-Lizard-- this is the average desert lizard. It usually comes in a brown, or black color and is very fast. It eats the eggs of the Sand Owl, and the Running Bird. It can be found all over Aeruillin.(Again, how about it's own name???)

-Hirafan- ((For your notes, imagine elephant-armadillo, do not put this note on site)) this is a sluggish, heavy animal with very thick skin that is worn like plated armor. It eats many of the shrubs and dry grass that can be found in Aeruillin, and have been known to dig into a few cactus to get water. The Tiraelhon can herd these but many prefer to hunt them. They can use their fat and skin for various products.

-Sand Owl- these are small owls that live in the giant cactus and prey upon most animals of the Sands of Maechalan. The feathers have often been used to make ornaments or for other decorative purposes.

-Earth Eater- this is a large dislike creature is an actual clam that has adapted to life on land (Sentence slightly confusing). It has a huge gaping mouth and sharp teeth, and it burrows deep beneath the sand. It is large enough to swallow two Tiraelhon whole. The earth eater has heavy, durable skin that is difficult to penetrate. It pushes itself out of the dirt by using a sharp powerful tail and opens its mouth allowing the earth to pour in. The sand is later expelled through the use of a hole in its rectum.

-Running Bird- the running bird is the fastest land mammal in all of Aeruillin. It is found over most of southeastern Aeruillin and also in the west and north. (Own name again?)

Weapons The Tiraelhon specialize in the use of throwing axes. Their axes are made from the tail fins of the Earth Eaters and the handle is made from the hide of the Hirafan. The Tiraelhon prefer not to even use weapons unless they are hunting or in a battle with an overwhelming enemy (Again - why bother learning if they don't want to use weapons? Wouldn't they be better having an intensive martial arts course ;)  ). The Sand Elves are not proficient in the use of normal magic. They have their own magic, which is given to them by Maecha. She has given them the ability to focus on the cár’áll in the very grains of sand. They then have the ability to cast spells manipulating the sands around them. Whether this is clerical magic or actual magic is still mysterious, but the Tiraelhon call it Sand Magic.

(Any Magic really needs to be discussed with the relevant magic people. Unfortunately, I think you will find it hard to get this accepted, although it is a good idea. Perhaps it could be some sort of Earth Magic - anyway, magic here is a little complicated, so I suggest you ask but am unsure whether you will be allowed this.)

These elves also use small daggers to allow them to cut and skin, animals and to fight in close quarters. The daggers are often made from stone covered with a thin layer of armor.

Occupations Occupations vary between the elves. The Tiraelhon go in different classes from Prán (literal translation means "the Heath", but in this case it is referring to the few Elders.) to the Vaí (meaning sight). The Prán are the oldest members of the tribe, and each one is a representation of one of the Airae. The Airae are the ultimate forces behind Tiraelhon religion, they do not interact with the other Dietrae, but they hold power over them. The Airae are Nous, the teller of tales, Icropio, the sender of Chaos, Shyloma, the seer of the Void, Nova, keeper of the Depth, Laecha, the master of time, and Damara, the daughter of Nous and the keeper of secrets. Each Airae chooses an honorable Tiraelhon that best suites their personality and uses the elf as its vessel. The elf receives messages and visions from their Airae and they are the leaders of the Tiraelhon.

Aira, they are the actual clerics, they do not have a one on one connection with the Airae, but they do have that connection with the Dietrae. They can caste various spells concerning the Dietrae that they serve, and they are bound to serve only one of the Dietrae.

The Tirave are the caretakers, their job is to take care of both the newborn children and the Prán. As the Prán reach old age they start to go blind and need help getting around. The Tirave can only be women, and can only be the women that are barren, or have never had children.

The Soorán are the Tiraelhon form of merchants. They travel around southern and eastern Aeruillin and trade items with the other tribes and cities. They travel on foot, always on foot, and carry no more than three woven bags with them at a time (why? Is there a reason for this? It would be more convenient to use a donkey or something similar - so why choose to go on foot?).

The Téth are the hunters for the group. They travel around the Sands of Maechalan and hunt for food and then deliver it to the Sánis to be cleaned and gutted, and then prepared to eat. The Téth can only be male, and must be skilled in accuracy and the use of a throwing axe.

The Máré, it is relative to the Styrásh word for water, but it actually means "bringer of moisture" to the Tiraelhon. The Máré are the few elves that go down to the irrigation ditches and gather the crops that the farmers have prepared and they also gather the water. They often live with the farmers on the shores of the seas and near the irrigation ditches.

Féarir, these are the farmers, they grow the crops and make sure that they are ripe and fresh. They often live far away from many Tiraelhon campsites and have to travel distances to visit family and friends.

Sánis are the ones that receive the food from the Féarir, and the Téth. It is their responsibility to clean and cook the food if they are having a feast or community festival. They must also send it to the Soorán to turn into items and to sell. They will distribute the cleaned food to the lady of each family house and she prepares it for her own family.

Vaí are the ones that scan the Sands of Maechalan for a potential place to live. They travel in groups of three to four and carry jugs of water, and baskets of food, mainly the dried skins of lizards. When they believe they have found a resting place they pray to Pagoro, the blind god of intellect, and reasoning, to allow them to be able to make a firm decision about whether they should use this spot again or not. They then place the lizard skins on the area in front of them, covering only the space right in front of their feet and then they return to their homes.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Government
As stated before, the Prán, who are the six elders that have been given great insight by the Airae, rules the Tiraelhon. The Prán live in one of the seven cities and each Prán takes the name of their Airae before their actual name. As of 1663 b.S. the Práns are Prán Nous Lestvá, Prán Icropio Jiviel, Prán Shyloma Maela, Prán Nova Opri, Prán Damara Dyhist, and Prán Laecha Monrán. Except for Prán Damara Dyhist, each Prán lives in the city named after their Airae. Prán Damara Dyhist lives in the city of Maechen. The Prán decide everything for the Tiraelhon, they receive messages from the Airae on how to best govern the people.

Under the Prán are the family houses. There are usually about 12 family houses in each village. The male head represents each house in a village. The male is the one who speaks with the Prán and presents the wishes and needs of his family. The Prán will then seek the council of the Airae and when they emerge they will have made a decision. Each Prán rules their own city and they do not usually come together to make decisions unless it is something that will affect the Tiraelhon as a whole.

The Prán have established a few rules, one of those stated that if the Prán convicts a Tiraelhon of a crime they are either fined or declared an outlaw. If they were declared an outlaw they will have to live out in (where?? ;)  Seems you forgot to finish this sentence ;) )

Women
The Tiraelhon often live in large family groups. Children, parents, and grandparents can often be found living together. When the eldest son takes over the family belongings, he becomes the head of the family and is responsible for the well being of them all. He has to speak with the Prán of his city in order to assign occupations to each family member and unless he is a Prán he too has to work. His wife, the lady of the household, has to see to it that the food lasts during the hot desert months. It is her duty to know how to cook and to share the receipts with her daughters and possibly even her sons. She was also expected to know about herbs for making medicines and to care for the sick and wounded. If the husband is Féarir a then the wife also has the responsibility of caring for the hirafa (I expect you have explained this, and I've just forgotten, but if not, what's a hirafa?).

Marriage
Girls are available for marriage at the age of 14 (Far too young - remember, these are ELVES!!! They can live many hundreds of years (Speaking of which you will need to think of an average age at which the elves die) so at 14 an elven child will most definitely not be ready. 70-80years old will be better, if you want them to be young in the eyes of the elves!). They are expected to know how to run a household at that time, should her husband fall ill. It is not unusual to see the older Tiraelhon, especially the Tirave come and help the young elf. The marriage is agreed upon between families and can often be regarded as an alliance between the families, although this is often a dismissed thought as most Tiraelhon are very close. If the daughter wants to marry a Tiraelhon that her parents have not chosen for her, it is possible that she may get that desire. She must present the male to her family and then he must prove to them that he is worthy of their daughter. Discussing his job, his family history, his future plans, his possessions, or how he loves the daughter is usually how this is done.

Divorce
The woman does not fully become a part of her husband’s family when she is married. She continues to be a part of her own family and if her husband mistreats her and her children, which is extremely rare, or if he is too lazy to be a good provider or if he insults her family, she can divorce him. To do that she must go to the Prán of her city, bringing her father, her husband, and his father. In front of these people she declares herself divorced from her husband. She must then go to her family tent and do the same and then go to his family tent.

The young children, if any, will stay with the mother after the divorce. The bigger children can be divided between the parents according to the wealth and status of the two families. If the former wife has her own property and a great inheritance she had a higher chance of gaining the children than her husband.

Production/Trade
The Tiraelhon trade with fabrics, and textiles with the Aeolrhan, and they trade weaponry and glasses, plus food and fresh water with the Sor'inyt. (Careful... the Sor'inyt are not all that social!!! Perhaps there is a special area where trade with them takes place?)

Natural Resources
The Sands of Maechalan provide the Tiraelhon with a few needed resources. They receive water from the Sea of Tardulan and The Theranian Sea, they are not proficient fishers, but a few have been seen trying. They can find food, both plant and meat within the desert, although many of the plants have add spice or sourness to a meal. They can find oils, glass, natural gas, iron ore mines, copper mines, and a few salt mines near the Raquan Mountains to the northeast, near the coast of The Theranian Sea.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Religion The Tiraelhon have 18 gods, each representing a different aspect of the world. ((See history for the creation of their gods, and the most famous myth)). The Airae are the head gods of the Tiraelhon, they do not bicker as the lesser gods do and they do not speak to the Tiraelhon as the others do. The only ones that they speak to are the Prán. They are the base of the Dietrae and have such importance that without them the other gods would crumble and fight until their death. The Dietrae are very human, in that they are often overwhelmed by lust and other emotions. The Airae are an exception, they are not affected by any emotion other than compassion. The three most important Airae are the following gods-

Nous- she is the Avá of the Tiraelhon. (Perhaps you should say she is as Avá is to most other elven cultures, that would be better) She is almighty and has the combined powers of each of the Dietrae and can control them at her will. She is the goddess of history and of the story and is the goddess who gives inspiration and enlightenment to writers, scholars, and historians. She is the silent goddess, never speaking to any (hang on a minute - you say she is silent, but yet you have made her Goddess of the story - that contradicts slightly, don't you think?), but none disrespect her because they fear her power. She knows all, like her daughter, but must never tell a word (Why? Because natural events must run their course without interference? Something like that?). She is humble and meek, and although she is mighty she has allowed Icropio and Shyloma to reign above her (If they reign above her, does that not mean they are more powerful? Perhaps you should say that they seem to, she allows it, but if needed she could withdraw that privilege, something like that). She is often depicted as the spirit of an elven queen drifting in the winds with no milky white eyes and silver pupils.

Icropio- he is the male head of the Airae, and he represents chaos. He is known as the god of the strong voice, meaning that when he speaks all are silent. He is the one that many Tiraelhon who wish for power and prosperity strive to be like. He is often seen coupled with the goddess Shyloma, as a man with many wings like the Sand Owl, and a thin, black, loincloth covering his waist. His body is that of a wiry muscled Tiraelhon with no hair, and black gloves.

Shyloma- she is the female head of the Airae, but her power cannot even begin to rival Nous'. She is the goddess who sees all within the Void. This is difficult to explain and is a mystery to the Tiraelhon, but they say that is what she called herself. She is known in myth for creating a gaping hole in the sky and allowing it to swallow the scornful goddess Lalian after she threatened Shyloma's mate. Shyloma, is also seen in a black loincloth and a black short shirt revealing her belly button, (perhaps you could say middle instead of belly button. Belly button just sounds like a really modern word, if that makes any sense at all!!!) and it has no sleeves. She has two pairs of wings, the top two being large and long and the smaller two being small and short.

(With regards to the wings, it would be interesting to know how they came to be depicted with them - perhaps tales of the Void holding supposed Fae inhabitants inspired someone to depict them as such, with wings. I just thought that an interesting link could be made there.)

Next are the Dietrae, they are the lesser, child-like gods that are often depicted arguing and bickering. Phemlu, he is the head of the Dietrae, and he represents order and composure. He is known in myth for being able to stay calm in times of intense stress although in the Myth of Dark Days he is seen loosing control and ripping a child apart. Pragoro, is the sufferer and the reasoning mind. He is the peacemaker of the Dietrae and often suffers because of the fact that he refuses to fight. Muerkon, and Tipesto very often torment him, but he always remains humble and meek. He is often found in the presence of Fetra because he is blind and needs guidance. Tipesto is the antagonist in every myth that he is in. He is known for being rebellious against the rule of Phemlu and he has had many love affairs with Raqua and Circinae, although Circinae was more of a rape. He does not have a heart and only cares for power, no matter how he receives it. Terira, she is a favorite of the Tiraelhon. She is curious, and has a child-like innocence. She is often the goddess that finds out the truth behind the darkness and it pains her that she must speak the truth to others. She is soft spoken and would rather not speak around many, but she will if need be. She is often associated with nature because in the Dark Days she went about naming all the plants and animals she could find and thus Nous gave her dominion over plants and animals. Muerkon, he is the known as the one who receives pleasure from the pain of others. He is always following Tipesto, blinded by the fear that Raqua places over his eyes and mind. He is known for being incredibly strong and has once battled Icropio and lasted for a while…but he lost eventually and was thrown into the Void for a thousand years. Arete, she is the daughter of Shyloma and Icropio. She is unable to walk, and is dependent upon others to bring her from place to place. Always with her are four earth eaters, which carry her where she needs to go. She represents mutual consent, meaning that she is the one who listens to all voices before making a decision. She is an authority figure in that her voice is mighty and when she speaks it is heard throughout the heavens. She is often seen as the goddess of the waters, because in the Myth of Dark Days she made the waters her safe haven. Fetra is the toolmaker, he is the one who gives inventors and blacksmiths the inspiration to create new things. Also, like Nous, he gives scholars the inspiration to write. When he is around Pagoro it is as if Pagoror’s blindness vanishes, and it is rumored that Fetra is also the Dietrae of healings. He has been known, in myth, to heal people by creating medicines or plants that will heal them. He is also known as the deceiver. He got this name when he stole the idea for glasses from the Gnomes and then told the Tiraelhon that they were the first to create them.

Raqua, she is the mother of pure evil. She represents the darkness that blinds a person into believing something that is false. She is also the Dietrae who creates and distributes fear, thus giving her the reputation of being the one behind many superstitions. She is also the seductress and many of the Dietrae have fallen trap to her schemes of lust and power. Her daughter is Lalian, the keeper of scorn and betrayal. Like her mother she is also beautiful and lustful, but is not as good at not getting caught as her mother is. Shyloma once destroyed Lalian, but being immortal she was reborn a few hundred years later. Circinae is the helpless Dietrae who gives light to the darkness, she brings clarity to confusion and is a vast source of power. However she does tire from using her essence to create this light, therefore she must feed off of the essence of the other Dietrae. She is the only Dietrae who can put Raqua in her place for good, the light always repels the darkness. She is also seen as the goddess of love, seeing as how she will shine her light for any regardless of how they have treated her in the past. Another important thing is that Circinae has no arms, instead a bright red cape flows behind her into the distance. Cerub is the god who is very willing to take up his arms and fight someone. He represents weapons and the passion to fight. He is the savagery that every Tiraelhon tries to suppress so that they can become a more peaceful tribe. He is not very popular and has no major myths about him other than when he tore Circinae’s arms from her body. Vevelorén is the product of Darkness (Raqua) and Force (Tipesto), he represents pure evil. He is the combination of fear, death, destruction, hate, discrimination, and torture. He is seen in the form of a human child a dagger in the side of his head, but instead of crying he is laughing. His eyes are a fiery red, and when he opens his mouth nothing but curses and tales of destruction come out. He is the one who creates lies and plants them in the minds of liars.

Maecha is the blessed goddess of peace and the keeper of the many sands. She is the one who keeps the memories of all beings in her mind, and she is the one who uses those memories to choose the many paths that will lead them to destiny. She is also the goddess of the rebirth, which is when a being dies, their soul travels to the Temple of Maecha in the city of Maechen. Maecha then parts her sands, and shows the life of the soul to the Airae. The Airae then cast a two-sided stone, one side is black, and the other is blue. If the soul gets a majority of blue sides then they will be allowed to either rest in Chó Xivá (Great Xivá). But if the soul was to get a majority of blacks then they would be forced to be reincarnated as a beast that is often preyed upon. It will usually be the beast that they killed most often if they were a Téth. Maecha is always neutral during many events, the only time she has been noted to take sides and loose her temper is when Tipesto, Muerkon, and Vevelorén tried to turn her city into a dry, cracking desert. She reacted by showing that she had control not only over every single grain of sand, but also the desert winds.

The Three Dietrae, Lilur, Sóirn, Syli, (in order of creation) are the unknowing minds. They are the ones that never seem to know what anyone else is thinking. If they were to ever find out things they would overreact and over exaggerate. The Three Dietrae are triplets of the goddess Circinae and Tipesto, although they are not as intelligent as either of their parents. They are bonded closely with one another and always know where the other is at. The Nemypeds, are the beautiful women who seem to be the only part of the fae that the Tiraelhon have kept from their Aeolrhan brethren. While they are not directly a part of Aeolrhan religion, they do resemble the fae. The Nemypeds are usually naked, full-grown Tiraelhon women with silver wings and silver hair. They are the daughters of Nous, conceived with no male, just a thought. They represent music, merriment, festivities, and grace. They spread joy through their dances, and the Aira that serve these Dietrae can create happiness and joy through simple dances. They are known as the innocent daughters, although during the Dark Days Tipesto easily corrupted them. The Sýsián Sisters are two sisters who are always in tune with one another. They seem to represent the weak and the helpless as these two are always in danger of being harmed and can do nothing about it. They are often prayed to be hunters, because if the Sýsián Sisters hear the prayer then the hunters will be given a link that connects them with one another at all time, despite how far they are from one another.

(Perhaps to make things clearer - as these are rather large chunks of text - you could have a separate line for each God and Goddess. This way it is easier to read and digest.)

Holidays, Festivals and Observances
Ae'llánámn- this is the celebration where the Tiraelhon dance and sing to the Dietrae and thank them for allowing them to survive after all these years. This takes places three times a year, the 5th day of Smól'evathón, Coór'pherán, and Dál'injerá. (Is there a reason for it being on this day?)
Amncínancianá- Powerful Silence, this is a holiday where no Tiraelhon speaks for an entire day in honor of Circinae. (What happens if someone does speak? Just a thought.) This can also be a daily ritual for marriages that are stressed and need the Circinae to show her light. This comes on the 14th day of Méh'avashín.
Claéhínól- this is the three-week festival that celebrates the defeat of the Avánhon, it lasts from the 12 of Chúh'querín to the 3 of Salarí'herín. (Perhaps instead of celebrating the deafeat of the Aváhon, it celebrates the joining of the Aváhon to the Tiraelhon, as I don't think those distant relatives of the Aváhon would like to celebrate their "defeat!";)

History ((needs work, no?))
Before the birth of the Aeolrhan and the Tiraelhon, there was the Maeverhim tribe. The Maeverhim split and a small group, now the Aeolrhan continued on past the Sharadon. When the arrived in the city of Shan' Furionnis, they began to forget the High Goddess and the Twelve Gods, and began to worship fae gods, but a small group kept that faith alive. They were what is now known as the Tiraelhon.

Due to the strict and angry voices of the Aeolrhan, the man named Tirae gathered his family, and friends and moved south to find their own religious freedom. They were little in number but their faith in Avá kept them going strong. When they had spent 49 years in the Plain of Col' Paehjaar, they began to feel forsaken and forgotten by Avá. They felt as though she had abandoned them because they were becoming ill and many were dying. When they reached the Sands of Maechalan, they stopped and began to weep. The Sands were a barren place and it did not prove the tastes of the former Aeolrhan. By now these elves had grown in number and had darker skin tones and their appearance had slightly changed. Tirae's wife, Malan threw down her bags and prayed to anyone that would hear her cry.

The loving arms of Pragoro answered her cry, he told them that the Sands of Maechalan were their promised homes and that this is where they belonged. Later that day it rained over the Sands for seven days straight, during that time the elves now called the Tiraelhon had been supposedly visited by 18 beings, each claiming to be a god and 16 of the gods blessed them with a plant, an animal, a resource, a water source, or an idea for a creation. The Tiraelhon rejoiced and danced for seven days after the rain.

All Taken From the Book of Many Paths, written by Prán Nous Levánári.

Dark Days- The Dark Days were a time when the gods were bickering and fighting and their blood poured out onto the Sands. It began when the gods all lived together, the Airae and the Dietrae. The Airae saw that the Dietrae were much less powerful than they were and therefore they left the Dietrae to create their keep in the end reaches of the Void. The Dietrae were then stranded without anyone around to keep the order for them. So, Phemlu, the god of composure and order, and Pragoro, the reasoning mind and the sufferer, came together and they journeyed the sands looking for a way to gather all the Dietrae together to make their own set of laws to abide by.

This had an affect on the Tiraelhon, at this time they were having issues that revolved around Avá and Her Twelve Aviariá. Some wanted to serve Avá and others thought that Nous was better because she was their deliverer. Because of this Maecha caused droughts and an internal battle began. Those that believed in Avá chose their keep in Icropan, despite Icropio's warnings through his Prán Icropio Delevan. Those that believed that Nous was the true High Goddess, chose their stronghold in the city now known as Nousais (Now-sigh-eyes).

They began to produce a great number of weaponry, both axes and daggers, and they started training both male and female for a battle. Meanwhile, in the place known as Xivá, home of the Dietrae, Phemlu and Pagoro the beautiful Arete. She had a strong voice, being the daughter of Icropio, but she was usually silent unless spoken to. Phemlu knew that all of the Dietrae would recognize Arete's voice as she always spoke when around Icropio. She let out a cry, it was chilling even to the immortal souls of the Dietrae and they came immediately. Not all of the gods were present, many remained hidden in the depths of Xivá. Fetra, the maker, Tipesto, the forceful, Terira, the curious lover, Muerkon, the violent and Tipesto's right hand, Cerub, the god of many faces, Maecha, the memory, and the Nemypeds, the innocent daughters, all crawled out of the magical trees, which held Xivá together and made up the sacred forest of Xivá

The Dietrae were all taken together under Arete's voice and they were only allowed to speak when she told them to. Tipesto, Muerkon, and the Nemypeds didn't like this idea but they went along with it. They all decide on who she be the leader between the two important and powerful figures, Phemlu and Tipesto. Phemlu is chosen, and Tipesto becomes upset, because he lusted for that position, but as a fallback Phemlu gave him rule over the Nemypeds. The Dietrae decide to go on a short search for the Airae, because they really just want things to go back to the way it was. They find nothing, except an artifact, the Hand of Nous. Tipest picks up the artifact, but it slips out of his hands when they begin their trip back and falls into a deep crack in the earth. When they finally return Phemlu declares that they need something to help them attract the presence of the Airae, which is where the goddess Circinae, the light giver, comes in. Her body is a shining figure that gives off a bright yellow essence. She is placed on the highest point in all of Xivá, and is told to keep glowing. But in order to remain glowing she must be filled with the power of other Dietrae daily. At first she is drained and she cannot glow, so Fetra finds out a way to give Circinae enough power to last for the day. When she gets that power she glows so brightly that her light pierces through the soul of one of the weak Three Dietrae, Lilur, the third of the unknowing minds, and he is destroyed forever.

At first is seems like living in Xivá is a good thing, the Dietrae lay around basking in the glory of their power, and devouring the worship of the Tiraelhon, but they have noticed that a lot of their worship has been cut off. In the Sands the Tiraelhon who worship Nous have launched their first attack upon the Avá worshippers and 47 are killed. On Xivá, Phemlu begins to complain that the Dietrae need to be maintaining Circinae's glow and that they need to begin molding the lands of Xivá to become a paradise for the worshippers of the Dietrae. The Nemypeds have been sent to search for the Hand of Nous, and Tipesto becomes more and more preoccupied with the artifact. No one has taken care of Circinae and her light dims as she falls into a deep slumber. This is not the same slumber that mortals must use, but the kind that the Dietrae take when they have no essence.

While Circinae rests the Airae pass through to see if the Dietrae have improved their behaviors, but they only see a barren land with nothing special and no one is working, the Airae go back to their fortress within the Void. Phemlu sees the Airae as they are heading back into the Void, he calls out to them, and then Pragoro comes and tries to help call out. Unfortunately for the child-like Dietrae the Airae continue their path. Furious Phemlu approaches Tipesto, but the Dietrae has just returned with his first piece of the artifact, a simple joint in a finger, and all the Nemypeds seem to be in a trance as they reenact the search, speaking of the Earth Eater which attacked them, but was effortlessly killed. Pragoro criticizes the Nemypeds, but Tipesto, who is flaunting the praise that the slowly corrupting Nemypeds give him, hits Pragoro across his face causing him to wear the white cloak and hood that he does now.

Phemlu summons Arete, who appears through the waters surrounding Xivá, and she calls out to every Dietrae. Not everyone comes, some still remain hidden in the depths of Xivá. Phemlu is allowed to speak and he tells them that they need to restore the order. Then one of the Three Dietrae, Sóirn, the second of the unknowing minds, gets permission to speak. She is full of fear, but she must speak because of the new being that has been revealed to her. She has been troubled by a vision of a dark being lurking in Xivá. The older Dietrae try to convince her that the Dietrae would know the being were it in Xivá. The eldest of the Three Dietrae, Syli, says that perhaps it lives within the waters, which are Arete's resting place. This is something that not only scares Arete but also the other Dietrae. This is one of the many myths that show the Tiraelhon gods having a sense of feeling powerless and fearful.

Around this time the Avánhon, the new name for the elves who believed in Avá, lays the city of Laechan under siege. The Tiraelhon march to the city, and it is destroyed within a month. The Prán Laecha Vies is assassinated when she tried to keep the peace within her city.

The Dietrae take their rest, after giving Circinae more essence to burn, and the Sýsián, two female Dietrae with the same appearance, are watching Circinae to ensure that she stays lit, but they too tire from using all their essence and they must rest. They hear a strange noise after waking up and they see a flapping in the magical trees. They think that it is the strange being and rush to find the other Dietrae and say that the being tried to attack them. The Dietrae, fed up with this being, decide to organize a "hunt" for the being. Tipesto and Phemlu, who have begun to hate each other more and more, travel up to the place where the being was spotted. The see the shadow of the being from a distance and decide that it is very powerful and dangerous. They also see that Circinae has drained completely, her body is pale and she sits in a fetal position. They try to give her essence but she does not lit up, so the two Dietrae return to their small fortress that they have built. Arete is summoned to hold a meeting, and Phemlu and Tipesto tell the others what they saw. During that time Tipesto decides to play a cruel trick and says that Phemlu didn't go with Tipesto. He feeds the Dietrae lies that Phemlu was a coward. Tipesto tells them that Phemlu is not fit for a powerful leader, but the Dietrae refuse to take Phemlu out of leadership. Tipesto becomes furious and for the first time he shows a human weakness and he begins to cry. He runs deep into the magical trees and shouts out for the Nemypeds, and Muerkon to follow him. They do willingly, and ready for their new master's plans.

Phemlu gathers the remaining gods to bring Circinae down from the high place and to the fortress. They obey, but during the task Raqua, the goddess of suspicion and fear, slips away and joins Tipesto providing him with even greater power. Tipesto declares that he is the leader of his new group, and he organizes another hunt for the Hand of Nous, and they gather an earth eater and brutally slaughter it and the Nemypeds dance around the carcass. Tipesto then sleeps with Raqua and they birth the god Vevelorén, pure darkness. They place Vevelorén in the magical trees as an offer for the strange being to leave Tipesto and his gods alone.

Terira being the curious goddess that she is travels throughout the island and begins to name all the mystic plants and animals that she finds. She comes upon the young child Vevelorén and she has a terrible vision in which the child speaks to her. The child tells Terira that she will never escape death, a concept that the goddess had yet to discover. It also tells Terira that the strange being is nothing more than a fear that Tipesto is using to boost his power over the others. Terira distraught by the truth goes to Phemlu's fortress to tell him what she has discovered, but no one is around, except Circinae. Phemlu and his gods have went off to Tipesto's keep from which he has invited them to a grand feast. They are rejoicing because Tipesto has found the third to last piece of the Hand of Nous. The Nemypeds dance and become so drunken on the savagery that Raqua and Tipesto feed them and they kill one of their own, devouring her soul. Terira emerges from the mystic forest and she begins to speak, but the Nemypeds, and all the others attack her believing her to be the strange being, and they kill her allowing her soul to be carried off into the Sands. Maecha, the only one who did not join the feast finds Terira's soul and she buries it deep within her sands as it slowly heals.

Soon after, Phemlu and Pagoro discuss what they have done. They are distraught by the fact that they have killed Terira. They are scratched, bruised and dirty, and are unbearably ashamed of the incidents from earlier. Pagoro tries to convince Phemlu that it was all an accident and that they were not responsible since they were blinded by the darkness that Tipesto had planted over their eyes. Even through all this chaos, the only Dietrae who has yet to turn to either side is Maecha. She remains neutral and none of the other Dietrae have bothered her. Tipesto, his queen Raqua, their soon, Vevelorén, and his dark gods have built a grand fortress. Here he is ruler and everyone has to obey him or they are punished. He has gone as far as to punish a Nemyped with a beating that disfigured her natural beauty because she was walking too slow in his presence. The dark gods are now feeling terrible guilt about Terira's death, but Tipesto convinces them that it was the strange being in disguise and he orders them to keep watch over his fortress and kill anyone who is suspicious. Tipesto wants to take Raqua and go hunting for the final pieces of the Hand of Nous, but they need a light. Tipesto decides to raid the other Dietrae's fortress and take Circinae and Fetra.

Phemlu's group takes rest early, but their resting doesn't go by easily. Phemlu has horrible visions of his death, the Sýsián are arguing with one another, and the last two of the Three Dietrae are crying over the loss of Terira. They are suddenly jolted awake when Tipesto and his minions come in attacking. A violent fight occurs and a terrible storm breaks out, signifying the rebirth of Terira. The dark gods take what they need, Circinae and Fetra and return to the grand fortress.

During this time, the Tiraelhon have been reduced to less than 1, 200 wandering warriors. They have lost many of their historical documents in the flames of war and many are dying slowly from the diseases that run rampant throughout the sands. The crops have died, and the Sands truly becomes a barren wasteland.

As time passes it becomes extremely cold in Xivá as Phemlu, Pagoro, and the Sýsián cry out to the Airae to come back, but it is to no avail. Pagoro, who is now literally blind without his trusted servant Fetra by his side, suggest that Phemlu calls a meeting. They find Arete and she calls out, in a powerful voice of authority. When the small group gathers, Phemlu speaks of his hate for Tipesto and the crimes that he has committed. The older and more powerful Dietrae decide to confront the dark gods and Pagoro will try to make them see reason. They bring Arete with them as a symbol of authority and move towards the grand fortress. They find the fortress guarded with armed gods, and Arete calls out, and the dark gods appear and began to attack the others. Tipesto is away finally gathering the last pieces, but he has ordered the dark gods not to allow Phemlu in should he come. When he returns with the last pieces, he commands Phemlu to leave his fortress. Phemlu responds by calling him a thief and asks him to return Fetra to Pagoro. Tipesto draws his might axe and responds by attacking Phemlu and the two fight. They tire and pause as Phemlu once more requests to have Fetra, and this time Circinae back as well. Tipesto is fed up and he commands his dark gods to tie the Sýsián up. Phemlu looses his temper when the two sisters are tied up mercilessly and they fight again.

Pagoro intervenes and tries to stop the fight by drawing attention to himself. As he speaks, Muerkon, who has created a great spear for his weapon, hurls the spear at Pagoro. Pagoro hears the whistle of the spear, but cannot see it and it pierces his immortal flesh. He is holding Arete, who is unable to walk and when the spear hits him it also hits Arete killing her as well. Their bodies are thrown out of the fortress and are taken in by Maecha and the new Terira, and buried deep under the healing sands. With Arete's death all the authority is destroyed and Raqua takes advantage of seeing the one thing that bound her destroyed and creates total darkness around Xivá. Tipesto screams at the dark gods, ordering them to attack him. Phemlu, now having lost all confidence, escapes into the mystic forest. Tipesto and Muerkon torture the Sýsián until they join their side.

Back in the Sands, the Tiraelhon have reached the breaking point. All of the Prán have been killed except for Prán Nous Levánári. The only two cities left standing are Nousais and the newly built city of Maechen, but both cities are nowhere near what they once were. The Avánhon have began to doubt that Avá is the true High Goddess, when their leader and his family is ruthlessly drowned in the Sea of Tardulan.

Phemlu hides in the mystic forest and thinks about his escape. Since Pagoro is no longer at his side he cannot think straight and so he just begins to run. He comes across the child of Raqua and Tipesto and he chokes the child to death, and then tears off its limbs. He feels overwhelmed by the fear and hate that has spread across Xivá and he is now loosing the order that he was born to reign over. He chooses a new hiding spot, and then he suddenly begins to hear footsteps. He hides deeper in the little hole until he starts to smell fire and he realizes that the dark gods are trying to burn him alive.

Right when this was written by Prán Nous Levánári, the city of Nousais, Maechen, and Icropio were burned to the ground.

Phemlu burst out and runs towards the fortress, as the dark gods close in, his fear grows larger, and he knows that he is doomed to death. He stumbles and falls as he reaches the doors of his abandoned fortress. When he stands up he is facing all six of the Airae. They question Phemlu, although they already know what has happened, and they are not shocked by what he tells them. Since Phemlu told them the truth they restore his strength and heal his cursed wounds. Soon the dark gods rush to the fortress and when they see the Airae, they begin to cry out for forgiveness. All except for Raqua, who weeps over her child's death, and Tipesto who put together the pieces of the Hand of Nous. He approaches the Airae telling them that he has power far beyond their own, and Nous begins to laugh. The goddess stretches forth her hand and Tipesto incinerates and his blood fertilizes Xivá. Nous then moves Xivá to what is now the Sands of Maechalan and she removes all of the mystic trees seeing as how they are sacred to the Dietrae.

After this the Tiraelhon and the Avánhon have made a truce deciding that Nous is the true High Goddess and they burn all the books and forget all the myths concerning Avá. Then Prán Nous Levánári for once comes out of her lair in Nousais and presents the Tiraelhon with the book that she has written filled with her visions from Nous. The book is called the Book of Many Paths, and after seeing as how Maecha was the only Dietrae to remain innocent they name their home after her.

All Taken and Revised From the Book of Many Paths, written by Prán Nous Levánári.

(OK, firstly, I suggest you just check this for typos etc once more, I came across a few when I went through it.

This is a pretty good myth, however, I find it slightly confusing. There are so many people in it, and, as the reader, I don't really know each one well enough to recognise them each time they crop up. I suggest then, at the top you perhaps form some sort of "character list" - I know you already have mentioned the Gods in the religion section, but with 18 (?) of them, a quick reference to them just before you start to read (i.e. Raqua - Goddess of the Dark, a Dietrae) would be helpful. So, if you come to a name of one that you are slightly lost about their meaning/importance, you can just scroll up a little to find out. I hope that makes sense.

Also. could you make sure that on each first mention of a person, there is a little mention of their importance (i.e. who they are - god/person etc) there too, so it's not just a bunch of meaningless names? You have done this with the majority, there are a few that you have bypassed however.)


Anyway, it's a good entry overall, I can't believe it took you so little time to come up with this. I really should take lessons from you!!! Fantastic!!!

:D  :D  :D  

To Have Flown With The Phoenix, Is To Have Lived Your Dreams...

Edited by: Artemis at: 11/21/03 13:50
Logged
Lady Tiaa
Santh. Member
***

Gained Aura: 0
Offline Offline

Posts: 77


View Profile
« Reply #6 on: 22 November 2003, 06:06:00 »

Man, I obviously need to read my stuff through before I post it. I am sorry that I have given you so much to read and that some of it is a bit confusing. How would this sound for a reason that they train. In the Myth of Dark Days when the Avánhon attacked their "settlements" (will change cities to settlements), they lost a lot of lives and they do not want an event like that to occur again. I will take out the part about the Sand Magic, I can do without that, I was just putting it in there to make it unique ;) . On the part where it says great wielder of, I meant to say throwing axes. Some parts I have fixed in the Continent of Aeruillin forum, not in this one...so if you see any errors they may have been corrected in the other one. I will take out the walking naked part, I forgot about that...don't want anybody to be all pruney!! I can't think of another word for basically, I can use the are...and just take out the word basically? About the sevent settlements, I have contacted Artimidor, and wrote him and e-mail (same thing!!) and I told him that I would like to have my settlements added to the map once I choose the right places. I was a bit confused about the desert type...is it like a California Desert or an African Desert, or a desert in the Middle East?

Logged
Artemis
Santh. Member
***

Gained Aura: 2
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 883



View Profile
« Reply #7 on: 22 November 2003, 07:54:00 »

Just a post to say that I've finished with my commenting, and you've done a pretty good job.

Will reply to the suggestions on your latest post later, as I have to go now!!!

:D  :D  :D  

To Have Flown With The Phoenix, Is To Have Lived Your Dreams...

Logged
Lady Tiaa
Santh. Member
***

Gained Aura: 0
Offline Offline

Posts: 77


View Profile
« Reply #8 on: 25 November 2003, 06:01:00 »

Have edited once more and added a few changes...

Logged
Artemis
Santh. Member
***

Gained Aura: 2
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 883



View Profile
« Reply #9 on: 25 November 2003, 07:48:00 »

Well, again I will say that this is an impressive entry. :eek

I'm glad my comments were of some use to you, and everything now, as I look through it, is explained, you don't leave anything vague so the reader is left confused.

I'm more than happy with this from an Aeruillin point of view. :D .

:thumbup

the only thing left to do now is get Arti's attention, so he can earmark this for the next update...

:D  :D  :D  

To Have Flown With The Phoenix, Is To Have Lived Your Dreams...

Logged
Artimidor Federkiel
Administrator
*****

Gained Aura: 538
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 23.091



View Profile Homepage
« Reply #10 on: 26 November 2003, 16:03:00 »

Okeydokey... Artemis has already gone through the entry in detail, so I just point out a few thoughts I come across and mention some misspellings/typos:

Overview
- Would mention continent and location of the Sands of Maechalan as well.
- completed = completely
- no uppercase letters for plants and beasts (like "Terirais")

Appearance
- Hmmm... 1.3 peds... Dwarves are up to 1.5, you know... Isn't that a bit too small perhaps?
- "but the Airae hairstyles vary" - maybe put in brackets an explanation what the Airae are, because this is the first reference to the Airae...

Coat of Arms
"...every Tiraelhon must where (=wear)"
- of the word always (suggest to write "always")

Territory
- Perhaps give rough numbers on how many people live in the main settlements.

People
- "keep an eye on your (=you) for as long as they see fit"
- "the volcano that sit (=sits) in the..."

Ok, that's as far as I've come today... Great work indeed, Tiaa!:clap  It's really very interesting to read, full with details and all sections are at the right place, just as it should be. What can I ask more? You also seem to have thought about the complete concept in general, including religion, settlements etc. already, so that is very good and will make additional complementary entries much easier later on:D

Also thanx to Artemis for doing such a detailed check already - good that Aeruillin people help each other:)

One more thing: Though I haven't read the religion part yet, I see that it is quite long. I'd suggest to seperate it from the main entry, so that we can put it finally into the religions section. A religions section is fine at the main entry, but just mention the most important things there and point to the Religons entry, that should do the job I'd say. We don't need to quench everything in here;)

But aside from this small problem - great job, Tiaa - very remarkable!:nod  


The Santharian Dream Webmaster - Let Fantasy Dreams come true!
World Development Admin - The Forum where Worlds are born...

Logged



"Between the mind that plans and the hands that build there must be a mediator, and this must be the heart." -- Maria (Metropolis)
Lady Tiaa
Santh. Member
***

Gained Aura: 0
Offline Offline

Posts: 77


View Profile
« Reply #11 on: 27 November 2003, 03:29:00 »

I edited it and thanks a lot for the comments. I know that I will probably have a lot more typos in the history section, but I tried to read it through as best I can. I like the advice about the religion...I was trying to squish everything just to make it clear, but I will do a religion entry later...or now...or whenever...

Logged
Lady Tiaa
Santh. Member
***

Gained Aura: 0
Offline Offline

Posts: 77


View Profile
« Reply #12 on: 27 November 2003, 10:22:00 »

I am not good at estimating populations...so I have no clue if the number I put down is too high or too low...

Logged
Artimidor Federkiel
Administrator
*****

Gained Aura: 538
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 23.091



View Profile Homepage
« Reply #13 on: 04 December 2003, 15:27:00 »

Well, concerning populations... Here's something for general orientation: Large medieval towns usually didn't have much more than approx. 12.000 inhabitants, and enormous towns (like Santhala will have for example) had around 150.000. So normal towns, which were not very special had from 3.000 to 5.000 inhabitants. So you might deduce from such numbers and the amount and size of your settlements how many people lived there approximately.

Ok, some more comments/corrections (I only mention changes):

Clothing
The Tiraelhon prefer to wear long, very thin, black robes that only cover one shoulder and wrap around their bodies.

... Tiraelhon can usually be found with their (coat of arms) (you say yourself, they don't have a CoA, so better just mention only "symbol" here) symbol hanging around their neck, and they all have their ears pierced and wear bronze earrings.

Food
This corn has very little juice and (is) has a very thick outer layer of skin.

It is believed that when the first group of unhappy Aeolrhans left Shan' Furionnis that Terira, the Goddess of Curiosity, blessed the elves with their first important fruit. It was named the Terirais, and it is a shrub that produces berries that (give) adds spice to many foods

As you mention the Armadillo... Completely off-topic side-note: I just watched the part of the Friends series yesterday, where Ross only manages to get an Armadillo costume instead of a Santa Clause one for Christmas... Now that was really hilarious! :lol

In general I have to say: Very good work again here, Tiaa - all you mention here, serves as a good basis for the regional bestiary:D  Looking forward to see more stuff elaborated in the Tiraelhon context;)

Weapons
Elves also use small daggers to allow them to cut and skin animals and to fight in close quarters.

---

That's how far I got today... Very happy with your entry, Tiaa:D  - Will check more later!


The Santharian Dream Webmaster - Let Fantasy Dreams come true!
World Development Admin - The Forum where Worlds are born...

Logged



"Between the mind that plans and the hands that build there must be a mediator, and this must be the heart." -- Maria (Metropolis)
Lady Tiaa
Santh. Member
***

Gained Aura: 0
Offline Offline

Posts: 77


View Profile
« Reply #14 on: 06 December 2003, 18:54:00 »

Okay, thanks a lot Artimidor...I will fix it later...I am kind of busy right now..but if you'd like feel free to fix it for me.  

Logged
Pages: [1] 2 3
Print
Jump to:  

Recent
[27 March 2019, 00:01:57]

[21 June 2018, 14:28:00]

[31 May 2017, 06:35:55]

[06 May 2017, 05:27:04]

[03 April 2017, 01:15:03]

[26 March 2017, 12:48:25]

[15 March 2017, 02:23:07]

[15 March 2017, 02:20:28]

[15 March 2017, 02:17:52]

[14 March 2017, 20:23:43]

[06 February 2017, 04:53:35]

[31 January 2017, 08:45:52]

[15 December 2016, 15:50:49]

[26 November 2016, 23:16:38]

[27 October 2016, 07:42:01]

[27 September 2016, 18:51:05]

[11 September 2016, 23:17:33]

[11 September 2016, 23:15:27]

[11 September 2016, 22:58:56]

[03 September 2016, 22:22:23]
Members
Total Members: 1019
Latest: lolanixon
Stats
Total Posts: 144586
Total Topics: 11052
Online Today: 36
Online Ever: 700
(23 January 2020, 20:05:39)
Users Online
Users: 0
Guests: 29
Total: 29

Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.21 | SMF © 2005, Simple Machines
TinyPortal v0.9.8 © Bloc
Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!
Theme based on Cerberus with Risen adjustments by Bloc and Krelia
Modified By Artimidor for The Santharian Dream
gfx
gfxgfx gfxgfx